Island Affair (Keys to Love #1)(88)
Abruptly straightening, she splashed water onto her lap to rinse away the sand. “So, I pushed myself. In high school, undergrad, med school, residency. It got worse when I started working at the hospital with Dad.” Her gaze lifted to Sara’s, empathy shone in her stormy gray eyes. “Because I used to believe I had to prove to her, and to myself, that giving up that fellowship and staying home until Jonathan and I started school wasn’t for naught.”
Used to believe.
Past tense.
“And now?” Sara asked.
“Now the only person I have to prove anything to is me. And my patients. They need to know they’re in the best hands when they come into my OR. I know for a fact that they are.”
Chin high, Robin stared at the open ocean, confidence bordering on cockiness in her tight jaw. A smattering of freckles chased each other across the bridge of her nose, trailing into her cheeks. They reminded Sara of the picture of their mom and a young Robin on her first day of kindergarten. Posture straight and stiff, their mom smiled for the camera, one hand on her eldest’s shoulder. Robin’s tiny face wore the same determined expression she normally wore.
Sara used to think that stone-faced look was a foreshadow of her sister’s surliness. Now she knew a child’s desperate desire to make her mother proud lay behind it.
“What helped you turn that corner? Relieve that pressure?” Sara asked, wondering how her sister had succeeded where Sara had failed. Horribly. Until Mamá Alicia intervened.
“Not what. Who.”
Robin tilted her head toward Edward.
“He doesn’t mind that I like working long hours, but he knows when I’ve pushed myself too far, and I need to unwind, even before I do. He gets me. The same way Luis seems to get you. And Carolyn with Jonathan.”
“Oh, I don’t know about Luis and me.”
“Well, I do. And I’m seldom wrong.”
Sara snorted a laugh. Even in the midst of their first heart-to-heart, her sister managed to insert her ego. And though Robin might be off base grouping Sara and Luis in with her siblings and their spouses, Sara had to admit Luis did have a knack for calming her when her thoughts threatened to spiral. Like he had Monday evening when they arrived at his parents’ house.
Still, who knew what would happen come Friday when she boarded her flight back to New York. They had yet to talk about anything past this week.
Over near the Fired Up, Luis and Jonathan tossed a football. Carolyn watched, her arms looped around a bright orange float noodle. Their laughter carried on the humid breeze. A wistful smile tickled Sara’s lips. She wanted more days like this. Family time with them all together, including Luis.
Especially with Luis.
A pontoon boat motored slowly by. The passengers and boat captain waved hello. Luis called out a warning about shallow water in some of the nearby channels. The Captain tipped his ball cap before revving the engine’s throttle.
“Look, we both have issues stemming from our childhood.” Robin shrugged a shoulder, as if the troubles of their past were that easily brushed off. “I’ll admit, it bugged me to think that here I was, busting my ass to prove myself while they were coddling you. Plus, you had Mamá Alicia showering you with attention, while I’d been stuck with a bunch of college kids who were more worried about their social schedules and making an easy dollar. But I didn’t realize what you were dealing with, and that’s on me. I was an adult; you were a kid. I should have made the effort. But let’s be real. When it comes to touchy-feely crap like this”—Robin motioned between the two of them, frightening off another school of tiny fish—“I’m the first to back away.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” Sara deadpanned.
Robin rolled her eyes.
Leaning forward onto her hands, Sara floated her legs behind her to alligator walk the few paces that brought her to Robin’s side. She sat next to her older sister, bumping their shoulders together.
“I appreciate you being honest with me,” Sara said. Bending her knees, she hugged them to her chest and rested her chin on top.
“Same here. It pieces things together better in my mind. Your ED. How and why it manifested. Why you moved to New York after signing with that agent, even though Mom had just been diagnosed. God, that pissed me off. It seemed so selfish. Leaving when she needed us the most.”
Guilt soured Sara’s stomach as she recalled the fight she and Robin had in the kitchen at their parents’ Scottsdale home the night before Sara left for New York. The palpable fear she’d lived with 24-7 back then. The seesaw between recovery and falling back on bad habits. The pressure to sign the sponsorship contract, thereby elevating her social media influencer status and increasing the odds of professional success.
The maelstrom of fears and pressures had driven Sara to yell hateful barbs in response to Robin’s snide, disparaging digs.
In the end, Sara had stormed up to her room, then left in the morning without telling Robin good-bye.
Sara buried her face on her raised knees, ashamed.
“I was so scared,” she murmured. “It felt like I was on borrowed time with Mom.” Swiveling her head, she stared at her sister, desperate for her understanding. “That need to prove myself before she was gone drove me insane. Sometimes it still does. But I’m working to lessen the pressure.”
And yet here she was with a fake boyfriend. Oh, the irony.