Inkmistress (Of Fire and Stars 0.5)(57)

“There’s one other thing. Nismae plans to try to use the other demigods to help her. She wanted to start with me. She asked if she could have some of my blood, too, to see if there is a way to bestow my powers on a mortal.” He looked out over the horizon. “I said no.”

I studied his features in the moonlight—the gentle curve of his nose, the shadows beneath his cheekbones, the bold and curling eyelashes that gave his face a constant air of innocence. I couldn’t tell what he might be feeling. My heart tugged me in directions at odds with my mind. It would be so easy to scoot closer to him, to rest my head on his shoulder, to lull myself into believing he’d be there when I needed him. He’d rescued me, hadn’t he? But how could his loyalties lie with anyone other than his sister? How could he have led me to her in the first place? I didn’t know what to believe.

“Is that why you betrayed Nismae to rescue me tonight? Because she wanted to use you?” I asked.

“No. It was that thing I Heard at the top of the cliff in the Tamers’ forest.” He shuddered.

“His name was Leozoar,” I said. As terrible as the old man had been, I understood him. He deserved to have his name remembered by someone.

“He didn’t speak to me like my siblings might have, though I suppose he once was one. More like he was muttering to himself, lost in his own mind. It was mostly nonsense, but there was so much suffering and agony in the words. If Nismae finds a way to pull the magic out of us and use it, or if we let our abilities be used by others for evil, who’s to say we won’t end up just like that—some twisted thing, barely more than a wraith?” Fear shone in his eyes.

“So it’s selfishness, then? Self-preservation?” It was too much to hope that he’d come for me because he cared, but still, I did. I longed to mean something to him. I wanted to matter to someone—something I was less and less sure I ever had.

“No. Not just that. I don’t think what she and Ina are planning is right. I don’t believe in hurting innocent people like you, even if they think it’s for the greater good.” He spoke softly.

I swallowed hard against a surge of guilt. I wasn’t as innocent as he thought.

“Do you think killing the boar king is for the greater good?” I asked.

“No. But coming for you was.” He looked at me, finally, sadness in his eyes.

It took everything I had not to embrace him, to thank him for caring enough to come for me. But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I couldn’t trust anyone but myself ever again. And with only myself to rely on, there was only one thing left I could do, now that I was free.

“I have to go to Corovja,” I said. “I have to go to the Grand Temple and try to talk to the shadow god myself.”

“That’s daft,” Hal said. “You can’t. Nobody can enter the Grand Temple without permission from the king, even demigods. And even if you could get in, how could you get the gods to speak to you?”

“I have to at least try,” I said. “I’ll tell the clerics I just want to enter the temple to see if my parent will answer me. Besides, if I go to Corovja, I can warn the king so he can stop Ina and Nismae. He’s the only magic user with enough power to do it. Maybe if I get on his good side, he’d speak to the shadow god on my behalf—if I can’t gain entry myself.”

In spite of my resolutions, guilt still ate at me. In stopping Ina and Nismae, the king would no doubt kill them both—two people who had more history with me and Hal than anyone. We both stared vacantly at the fog swirling in the valley below, the silence strangely comfortable between us. Everything had a sense of finality, until Hal spoke.

“Can I come with you?” he asked.

I looked at him, startled.

“I thought you said you never wanted to go back to Corovja.” I’d half expected him to try and talk me out of what I was about to do, but not to ask to go with me.

“If the clerics won’t let you into the Grand Temple, how are you going to get to the king?” he asked, his voice flat.

“I thought anyone could petition the crown for an audience,” I said. Honestly, I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to. If I could get the Fatestone right away, I wouldn’t need to speak to him at all. He’d never know his story had been written over.

“They can . . . but it takes time. Some people wait moons to be granted one.” He sighed and looked down. “But I could get you in much faster.”

“How?”

“The royal alchemist. He owes Nismae a favor that I might be able to collect on.” The expression on his face told me that it might be best not to inquire how that had come about. I’d never thought about the people Hal had known and left behind in Corovja—about the whole life he’d lived before we met. The thought of him being forced to beg and steal to survive there made my heart ache. I just hoped the friends he’d made along the way weren’t dangerous ones, the royal alchemist included.

“But Ina isn’t your problem, and Nismae is your sister. Are you sure you want to help me?” It had to be impossible for him to take sides in this and feel good about it. Still, I wanted to take what he’d offered me. I could go to the Grand Temple and the king on my own, but it would be better with Hal by my side.

He took my uninjured hand and squeezed it just once. “Ina is clearly dangerous. And well . . . Nismae taught me that we protect people we care about. So I’m not going to let her hurt you.”