Inkmistress (Of Fire and Stars 0.5)(31)

Ina snorted. “They have no chance of killing you with me by your side. Besides, I don’t plan to stay. It’s hard to hunt as a dragon in these woods. Too many obstacles. We’re mountain creatures, after all. But I’m so tired . . . I needed to rest. I still can’t take dragon form for more than a few hours at a time—less if I’m flying for long periods. It should be at least a little easier by now.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. Guilt swirled through me. It had to be because she hadn’t manifested traditionally. Even though I’d been the cause of it, I didn’t know how to help her now.

“Oh, Asra.” Ina rested her head on my shoulder. “You shouldn’t have come after me. What if your death ends up on my hands, too?”

“I’m not dead, and it wouldn’t be on your hands anyway,” I said firmly. “This was my choice.”

“I don’t want to kill anyone else,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

“I know you don’t.” I squeezed her hand. Finally she was coming to her senses.

“Just the one. Just him.” Her head snapped back up and her eyes took on a hint of wildness, the flash of the dragon within. “I would have flown straight to Corovja and killed him days ago if my manifest was settled, but it’s taking time. Too much time.”

I took a deep breath. So much for sensibleness. I had to talk her out of this before she got hurt wreaking vengeance on someone who hadn’t earned it.

“Ina . . . there has to be another answer. The boar king didn’t personally destroy our village. It could be moons before your manifest settles. You could take that time to find a way to protect others who are at risk of bandit attacks. Or figure out what future you want for yourself,” I said. If I could just get her to slow down and think, surely she’d realize that the best course of action was to make a fresh start.

“But you and I could get revenge for what the king did to our home. We could stop him from doing it to anyone else ever again.” She gestured widely to acknowledge the whole kingdom.

“But if you kill him, you’d be queen,” I said. Had her determination for vengeance turned into a hunger for more power? Her justifications didn’t add up.

She shrugged, but her eyes glimmered in a way that told me it wasn’t the first time the idea had crossed her mind. “That can be decided after he’s dead.”

“Please don’t do this. It’s too dangerous. He’s already got the Nightswifts plotting something against him. We don’t need to get tangled up in that.” My fear grew the longer we argued. She wasn’t being reasonable.

Ina tilted her head. “Nightswifts?”

“Assassins who used to work for the king. I ran into some of them when I was looking for you in Valenko. Listen, I don’t want harm to come to any other village, but you need to rest. Let’s find somewhere to go that’s safe and quiet where we can talk about this more,” I said.

“If you don’t want any other villages to be harmed, then don’t let it happen. Help me kill him.” The venom in her voice made me shiver.

What had happened in Amalska was inextricably tied up with the king and the crown for her, and I had let that happen. The time had come to tell her the truth. Whatever she decided to do from here, she had to do it with full knowledge of the role I had played in the fall of Amalska. I shoved down my desire for one more night beside her, one night to be comforted by her closeness before I had to risk letting her go.

I had always wanted impossible things.

This time, I could not allow myself to have them.

“Ina, I have to tell you something.” My heart was already breaking.

“That you love me?” she said, her eyes suddenly playful. Her moods had always been mercurial, but now they seemed to change with the swiftness of the spring weather.

“I do,” I said, but I couldn’t force a smile. “That’s where this all began. You know I am more than mortal.”

She nodded.

“There is more than that—more than what I do with the herbs and potions. I have a gift, one I was told never to share.” I hesitated, terrified to reveal the darkest part of myself to someone for the first time.

“You can tell me anything. You know that,” she said, her voice encouraging.

For just a moment I let myself get lost in the cool blue of her eyes, but I couldn’t stop now.

“I can shape the future by writing it in my blood.” Speaking the secret aloud felt like letting part of my soul go.

“You mean you could write the death of the king if you chose?” She gripped my arm, her eyes glittering.

“No. Gods, no.” Even if it wouldn’t be treason, the thought made my stomach churn. I could hardly believe she’d suggested it. How could she so quickly turn to killing as the answer, and how could she want me to bloody my hands, too?

“But why not?” A spark of anger lit in her eyes.

“Using my gift ages me before my time. And if I’m not specific enough about what the future should be . . . things don’t go the way I expect. People get hurt. People die.” Images of burned bodies flashed through my mind. I swallowed hard as bile rose in my throat.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“You remember the drought when we were children? The one that had started to take over the southern part of the kingdom? I ended it,” I said. Sonnenborne’s curse had begun to spread north into our kingdom, creating a terrible drought of both water and magic. My blood had been the only way to stop it.