Inevitable and Only(43)

“Cadie,” he whispered again. “We’re friends, right?”

My eyes flew open. Was that what he was supposed to say? “Yeah, of course.”

“Okay, good. So, can I ask you something?”

He might ask first, or he might just make meaningful eye contact, or touch your face. If you want to jump-start things, you can do that, too, you know. Any of those things. Ha. Like I’d have the courage.

“The answer’s yes,” I said, in what I hoped was a suave and sultry voice. Except it came out as more of a quiver. Almost a question.

He raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t ask yet.”

“Ha! Right.” My heart thudded. “So, what is it?”

He leaned in even closer, if that was possible, so that his lips brushed my ear. “It’s, um, about Elizabeth. I was just wondering. Is she dating Sam, do you know? Or are they just friends?”



Raven found me in the bathroom—I didn’t know how, since I’d fled to the single-stall one all the way up by the front office. She locked the door behind her. “Cadie! What happened?”

“She’s ruined everything,” I sobbed, not caring that my sparkly blue cat-eyes were running down my cheeks. “Everything. First Mom and Dad, and my room, and books, and driving, and then Sam, who didn’t even matter, but that wasn’t enough, because now this.”

I may have mentioned that I don’t do crying. Which was why Raven’s eyes were as round as the holes Elizabeth had punched right through my life.

“Cadie. Slower. You’re not making sense.”

I told her about my dance with Farhan. The kiss that wasn’t. The anti-kiss. “It’s not fair! Why can’t she just leave my life alone?”

Raven spread a double layer of toilet paper over the closed toilet seat, tucked her dress around her legs, and sat. Gingerly. Raven hates public bathrooms, even the ones at school. “It’s not exactly her fault, you know.”

“Raven!”

“Well, it’s not.”

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say.”

“Best friends don’t say things they’re supposed to say, they say true things. And it’s not going to do you any good to be mad at Elizabeth. Be mad at Farhan. Fart-on. That’s what we’re going to call him from now on, okay?”

I snorted through my tears, despite myself. “Gross.”

“He’s the one with the thick head,” she continued. “I mean, look at you. You’re a catch, Cadie. The best catch in this school. You’re smart, funny, talented at everything you try. And smoking hot, especially in that dress. Cut your losses and move on before he knows what hit him.”

“That’s not really helping, either,” I sniffled.

Raven sighed. “What do you want me to say? Your date’s a loser? He is. He had us very cleverly deceived all these years. So let him run after the Virgin Mary. He’ll be sorry when he realizes what an ice princess she is.”

I thought about walking home from Mass with Elizabeth and her smoking. Virgin Mary? Maybe not, after all. I took a deep breath. “She’s actually … more complicated than that. And you’re right. It’s not her fault.”

“That’s the wrong attitude, missy.” Raven was the president of the 180-degree club. She could change her opinion at the speed of light. “You have the right to be mad at anyone you choose tonight.”

“‘Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.’”

“What?”

“It’s a quote. From some play Dad hates.” I couldn’t believe even in this moment thoughts of Dad were sneaking in. Like he and Elizabeth just couldn’t leave any minute of my life alone.

“You know, you quote the strangest things in times of crisis, have I ever told you that? Well, good. I’m glad your brain is still functioning, even if your eyes are behaving very oddly. Are you done crying yet? It’s seriously freaking me out.”

I wiped my eyes. Blue glitter all over the paper towels.

Raven stood. “Now, what’s the plan?”

“What plan?”

“I’m bored of this shindig. Want to cut out?”

I knew that couldn’t possibly be true. She and Max had danced almost every dance together. She looked ravishing in her dress, and she loved being the center of attention. She was practically glowing with contentment right now. And yet, she was willing to lie about all that and leave, just to save me from my misery. This was why I loved her.

I couldn’t say all that, though. For one thing, my tear ducts were threatening to start leaking again, just from thinking it. And Raven would deny it all, anyway. So I said, “Mom’s expecting to take us home at the end of the night …”

“I’ll go find her and tell her you’re not feeling well. And then I’ll call Renata and she’ll drive us to the Charmery for emergency ice cream and then we can drop you off. Okay?”

“I think I’d rather just go straight home. You should stay here and have fun.”

Raven gave me a long look, then nodded. “Ice cream rain check. Let me just go find your mom. Wait at the office for me; no one will bother you there.”

Five minutes later, she was back, and fifteen minutes after that, Renata called to say she was outside the school.