Incumbent(52)

“I wasn’t able to talk to him until after. Like I said, my mom took my phone away from me.” I sniffed, trying to regain my composure, but I was a mess. “Plus, he had a future ahead of him. I knew he’d tell me not to do it and he’d take whatever punishment he had coming to him, but I just couldn’t. So I broke up with him, and he went to basic training.”

Drake’s voice was tight when he asked, “Do you still love him?”

“In a way, I think I’ll always love him, but it was young love. It’s not like how I feel now.”

My heart screamed at me to tell Drake I loved him, but now didn’t seem like the right time. Not after all I’d just hit him with.

“Where is he?”

“He died. Well, he went missing after he was deployed to the Middle East, and that’s the last I heard of him, and the last time I saw my parents. But I have more to tell you.”

Drake was leaning against the door with his arms crossed. His body language was so closed off, all I could think of was that he wanted to escape and get away from me.

“My name wasn’t always Lucy Washburn. I was born Abigail Winston.”

His eyes narrowed as he tried to process what I was saying. Before he could ask questions, I told him the rest.

“It was my freshman year of college when I heard from friends that Greg was missing in action and presumed dead. That’s when part of me died too. Not only had I lost him, but we lost the choice to have our own family. The fury I felt toward my parents was something I’d never felt before. But what was worse was the disgust I felt toward myself, and the guilt. I cried all the time, didn’t care about going to classes, and I realized I’d already lost myself. Abigail was dead; she died on the same day Greg did.”

I sobbed, gasping for air as I tried to speak, but I couldn’t do it. My cheeks were wet with tears, but I needed to go on or I’d never finish my story. I swiped at my face with the back of my hands.

“Lucy, you don’t need to.” Drake took a step toward me, but I shook my head.

“Yes, I do.” My chest shuddered as I took a breath and tried to go on. “So I completely cut myself off from my family and started over. I hired a lawyer and legally changed my name, and then transferred out of Colorado State to JMU. I had a small trust fund that my grandparents had left me, money my parents couldn’t touch, so I was able to support myself through college without their help. I’m so sorry, Drake. I should have told you sooner.”

He stared at the floor, seeming to process what I’d told him, but he didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity.

“Please say something,” I begged. My heart felt as if it had been stabbed. I hated to think how Drake felt.

Frowning, he glanced up at me. “Who else knows about this?”

“Mason. He’s the only one who knows my story.”

Staring at the floor, he said in a low voice, “You should have told me.”

I nodded. “I know, but I was scared.”

His head snapped up as if he suddenly realized something. “Is this why you didn’t want your picture in the paper? Because you thought you might be recognized?”

“You’re a pro-life Republican, Drake, who also happens to be Catholic. I couldn’t let my past be associated with you. And if the school board found out about this, I’d most likely lose my job. It wasn’t something I’d want to put on my résumé, but I wasn’t asked about it either. I was just happy to have a job where I could teach.”

His face hardened. “So you waited until I fell in love with you to tell me you aren’t who you said you were?”

I was stunned. He loves me?

At my shocked expression, Drake stood up a little straighter, his face drawn tight with emotion. “Didn’t you know how I felt about you? You could have told me at the very beginning, and I wouldn’t have thought less of you. What happened to you was a long time ago. It wasn’t as if this happened to us. But you decided to keep this from me. Now, we’re here with my family, who adores you by the way, and you spring this on me?”

I shook my head, wanting him to understand. “This is why I held off meeting them.”

“One week. You held out for one week, Lucy.” His shoulders slumped and his head fell forward, utterly defeated. “I don’t know what to do here. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“I’m sorry. I really am so sorry. But I needed to tell you before someone started digging in my past.”

“I understand, and I’m sorry you didn’t tell me until you felt you had to.”

“What was I supposed to say? Hi, I’m Lucy Washburn, but I was born Abigail Winston. I changed my name because I had an abortion and hate my parents? Oh, and the boy I once loved died fighting for our country, so we’d never have the life we wanted?” My words felt like blades slicing my mouth as I spoke.

Drake paced away from me, his hand over his mouth. His voice was hoarse as he said, “I need time to figure out how to handle this.”

“Does this mean we’re over?” I choked out.

Facing the darkened window that looked out over the beach, he kept his back to me as he said, “It means I need time to think, that’s all.”

I nodded, determined not to let any more tears fall. I’d wait until I was back home.