Incendiary (Hollow Crown #1)(81)
“I thought you were going to be honest with me, Renata.” Méndez twists off the cap of the tincture and drops the brown liquid over my wound. I know it stings but I can’t register it anymore. “If something is wrong, I must know it.”
“Sometimes my memories surge back. I can’t control them all the time and it becomes painful.”
His gray eyes scan my face. He brushes a lock of black hair away from my eyes. “I think about the night you were taken quite often.”
As do I, I say to myself. The image of a sweet young Dez pulling me to safety is both a balm and a knife to my heart. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
“I’m better now,” I say, and offer a smile that seems to convince him.
“I have brought you something.” He fishes out a small blue velvet pouch from his satchel and unfolds it.
I do not want gifts from Méndez. This is how it’ll start, and then I’ll be right back where I was all those years ago. But the old me would not have refused, so I don’t.
The red-jeweled pendant is the official seal of the justice, similar to the one Leo wears. Méndez pins it to the fabric of my dress over my heart.
I take a long, trembling breath. “You honor me, my justice.”
He lifts my chin with his finger. His sincerity burns me. “You are more valuable than you know, Renata. Soon, King Fernando will see all the work I have done for our cause.”
“The king is pleased?”
“More so since your arrival.” His forehead strains. “While I am gone, you must continue being my eyes and ears. Only Judge Alessandro and Leo can reach me.”
“Do you have to go?” I ask. “What if you don’t return in time?”
“All the more reason my duty calls. The new Ventári must be broken in for the king.”
Is that what he’s going to do to me? Break me in? A voice that sounds like Margo says, He already has.
“When I return, I expect your injury to be healed completely and in time to perform.”
Dread pools on my tongue. “To join the Hand of Moria.”
“The only Robári for miles must impress our foreign visitors,” he says.
The only Robári for miles. The only Whisper in the palace, too.
I watch Méndez’s carriage leave from the sky bridge facing the main street. The ruby-and-diamond pin on my chest carries the weight of every person whose life I’ve touched with my power. Here I am, wearing the justice’s seal. I try to tell myself that this is exactly what I wanted when I arrived. To stay here for more than just my vengeance. For the justice to trust me. I am worried that I’ve played the part all too well.
The Sun Festival is fast approaching. I am far from ready. If the mission isn’t complete before then, if I haven’t yet been able to secure the weapon and destroy the prince, will I be able to go through with it? To create a Hollow of Lord Las Rosas to keep my cover and continue on for the greater good of the Whispers?
My guilt will kill me one day, but I’ve decided that’s not today. I walk across the length of the sky bridge and rest my gloved hand on one of the pillars for support. From up here, the maze of gardens is a dizzying thing. Glossy tiles form intricate patterns that seem to lead between manicured hedges. The last king had this garden designed as a gift to his wife. Divided into quarters, the hedges and arches covered in blooming roses trick the mind into following a path to the center, where all the royal revelries take place.
In each of the separate garden quarters, there are hidden nooks with stone benches for courtiers to pass the time. The girls dot the gardens like flowers as attendants walk beside them with parasols to block the sun’s burn from their skin.
Leo’s laughter flits up from one of the gardens. There, under a canopy of sheer fabric and lanterns is a woman surrounded by half a dozen courtiers and attendants as if she were the queen herself.
I move unnoticed past the gardeners preparing for the Sun Festival. They tend to braided trees with white buds ready to flower, and polish armor and statues until they gleam from meters away. A small boy arranges lily pads in the glistening reflective pools that line the queen’s gardens. From down here, the tops of the palace towers shine like individual suns. I remember looking at this structure from a greater distance, when my unit and I rode down a road flanked by severed heads. Every time I enjoy the beauty of this place I remember it is equally matched by a hideous heart.
I find Lady Nuria’s canopy in one of the quarter gardens. Her face is hidden in the shadow of the canopy, but her long, full body reclines on a plush chaise covered in pillows and white fox-fur throws. She wears her dress cut lower than the other courtiers, in what I know to be the Dauphinique style according to Leo. Her gown is the color of cherry juice, hugging a slender waist and wide hips. Her hair is pinned up, curls arranged to fall delicately around her neck. Her sienna-brown skin gleams like a jewel.
She sits up when she sees me, and when her face comes into the light, she is not what I expected at all. She’s younger than I imagined, perhaps seventeen like me. Dark eyes that are somehow both kind and scrutinizing all at once. Her lips are stained as red as her dress, but the rest of her face is left untouched, including thick black eyebrows, naturally arched to give her a look of skepticism. Or perhaps that’s merely how she’s observing me now. She picks up the porcelain cup with a delicate gold-painted trim and takes a sip with her plump mouth. The half-dozen girls lounging around her do the same.