In Her Tracks (Tracy Crosswhite #8)(11)

Tracy smiled. “I’ve heard the families of victims say they never thought it would happen to them either. My family never thought it would happen to us. Not in a small town like Cedar Grove.”

Walsh set down her pad. “Psychopaths represent four percent of the population.”

“Four to eight percent,” Tracy said and smiled, though without humor.

“Four to eight percent. But what are the odds that what happened to your sister and your childhood family would happen again to your daughter? What are the odds that a young girl, deeply loved and carefully watched over by two parents, will disappear?”

“It happened once,” Tracy said, feeling herself digging in her heels.

“Yes, it did. But what are the odds?”

“Very small, I know, but that isn’t why I asked to see you. Something unexpected has come up at work, and my husband thinks I should talk to you before I make any decisions.”

Tracy explained her conversation with Captain Johnny Nolasco.

“Do you have any legal recourse?” Walsh asked.

“You sound like Dan. No. Not really,” she added.

“But you think he hired this woman deliberately to freeze you out?”

“I do, but I’m not likely to prove it. Discrimination suits just put everyone on edge and don’t play well with the men. I don’t want that. I just want to do my job and be treated as a detective.”

“What then are you going to do?”

“I still haven’t made up my mind.”

Walsh glanced up at the clock. “You haven’t left yourself a lot of time.”

“I think that was my captain’s plan. He’d love to be rid of me, which is a strong reason for me to take the Cold Case job.”

“Just to spite him?”

Tracy smiled. “We have a complicated relationship.”

“I understand that. Put him aside for a minute. What do you want to do?”

Tracy sighed. “I don’t know. Initially I was dead set against taking the job—”

“Because you feel it is being forced upon you, or you don’t want to move laterally?”

“Both. But after speaking to the detective who is retiring, there are some advantages to accepting the position.”

“Such as?”

Tracy explained what Nunzio had told her.

“What are the negatives?”

Tracy hesitated, uncertain how to answer the question. “You mean other than that I’d be capitulating to my captain?”

“Put him aside. You just gave a strong reason to take the position. What are the reasons making you hesitant, or is it simply to not let your captain have his way?”

“That’s the problem. He’ll have his way regardless of what I do.”

“Is that it? Is it just that you don’t want your captain to win?”

Tracy sipped her water, then said, “No. Dan is concerned the position could be emotionally challenging because a majority of cold cases are either unsolved homicides or sexual assaults and battery of young women, or women who have gone missing. He’s worried how I will react when I can’t solve a cold case.”

Walsh said, “Pardon my ignorance, but aren’t cases cold because they couldn’t be solved?”

“It’s more complicated than that, but essentially, yes.”

Walsh paused. “I see.” Then she said, “Why did you become a Seattle homicide detective?”

“Why?”

“I think you said once it was to find your sister.”

“In part.”

“To save your family?”

“Possibly.”

“Did you save your sister?”

Tracy shook her head.

“Did you save your family?”

“No.” She spoke softly, her voice almost inaudible.

“Does that bother you?”

“I’ve learned to live with it.”

“Have you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you deal with it? Or did you just push it aside so you could move on, day by day?”

“I don’t know. Maybe a little of both.” She didn’t tell Walsh about the mental box in which she’d put her sister’s disappearance and death.

“Does it bother you that you couldn’t save your sister or your family?”

“Of course it bothers me. That was my job—to save her. I failed.”

“Why do you think it was your job and you failed?”

“Because she died. Because he killed her.”

“Years before you ever became a homicide detective.”

“Yes.”

“You were a twenty-two-year old woman just starting life, not a homicide detective.”

“What?”

“It wasn’t your job to save your sister, Tracy.”

“I was older. I shouldn’t have left her.”

“But you couldn’t have saved her.”

“My father thought I could have. He never forgave me for leaving her.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because he killed himself. He never looked at me the same way after Sarah disappeared. He never treated me the same.”