In Harmony(58)

The weight lifted.

There was no shadow monster. Only me in the amber light above the door, sitting on the ground with blood trickling down my shins and my palms scraped raw. I inhaled sharply, then dissolved in wracking sobs.

I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged my legs, crying until I felt turned inside out. Any second the door would open and someone would see me, or Angie would follow me. Gasping for air, I got to my feet. My pretty blue dress was smudged with dirt and my knees were a mess. I was a mess. My purse was inside but there was no chance I was going back in looking like this.

I hauled myself off the ground and stumbled after one step in my heels.

“Fuck.”

I took off my shoes and walked to the girls’ room across from the gym. While the idea of walking barefoot in a bathroom didn’t exactly scream ‘dignified,’ I didn’t much care. I tore a few paper towels from the dispenser, ran them under cold water and cleaned up my knees.

When I straightened to wash my scraped palms, I let out a little gasp at the reflection in the mirror. My hair was falling out of the messy bun and my face looked as if I’d been driving at a hundred miles an hour with my head sticking out the window. Smeared makeup. Swollen, shining eyes. Ruddy cheeks.

“God,” I whispered.

When? I wanted to scream. When could I go back to being myself? When would this mess of a girl in the mirror get better? Ever?

Never?

I splashed cold water on my face and dabbed it dry. Smears of mascara still smudged my eyes, but it seemed like too much effort to clean up and try again. Impossible to go back and face concerned questions from Angie, or confused expectations from Justin. I was too tired to make something up. Pretending to be okay was fucking exhausting.

My house was a good two miles away. I could call an Uber, but my phone was in my purse and my purse was in the gym. With my heels dangling from one hand and my left knee still trickling blood, I began to walk.

I trudged along the quiet streets of northern Harmony. The school wasn’t ten minutes behind me when I realized the stupidity of my plan. My feet ached and were scratched by rocks and debris. I was on the verge of taking a seat on the side of the road to rest when headlights splashed in front of me.

A car pulled up. No, a pickup truck.

Isaac Pearce’s Dodge.

Oh God, not like this. Don’t let him see me like this.

I walked faster.

He drove slowly beside me and rolled down the passenger window.

“Hey, where are you go—”

His voice cut off as he took in my bloodied knees and dirt-streaked dress. He slammed on the brakes, killed the engine and jumped out of the truck.

“What happened?” He took my arm. “Willow…?”

I stared up at him, a thousand thoughts passing through me in a second. His hand on my arm didn’t sent icy shivers over my skin. His presence felt like a shield instead of danger and his face… God, he was so handsome. He would’ve looked so amazing in a suit, and I would’ve felt so proud arriving in his truck instead of a limo. With Isaac as my date, the dance would’ve been perfect because he didn’t make me feel like I was drowning in ice water…

“Willow, what happened?”

“Nothing,” I said, wrenching free. “I fell. I’m fine.”

Isaac’s gaze swept my face with its swollen eyes and smeared makeup. “You fell.”

“Yes, I fell,” I snapped. “On my way out of the gym. It’s not a big deal.” I turned away from his scrutiny and started walking again. Limping now, as a rock had punctured my heel, but I wasn’t about to let him see how bad it hurt.

“You went with Justin Baker, right?” Isaac said. “So where the fuck is he?”

I stopped and whirled to look at him. “What do you care?”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No and it’s none of your business anyway.”

“Willow…”

My anger rose, carried on a tide of frustrated tears. “Don’t say my name like that,” I said. “You had nothing to do with this. You don’t go to dances, remember? You’re done with high school. I’m not. And I was just trying to have a good time like any other normal girl and I…I had…”

“What?” Isaac asked softly, coming closer. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” I said, fighting for control. “Nothing happened. I got…claustrophobic or something. A panic attack. It happens sometimes and it’s so…stupid. So fucking stupid. And unfair.” I wiped my eyes. “Never mind. It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Is it? To who? If you cared so goddamn much about what happened at the dance, then you should’ve…”

You should’ve told me on Saturday…

I bit the words back before they could escape and make things worse.

“You’re right.” Isaac’s deep voice was low and quiet. “I should have.”

My heart pounded and I stared, not knowing what to say or how to feel. I desperately wanted to recover one scrap of dignity. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

“Well, it’s too late now.”

For an instant he looked through me, as if my words reminded him of something. Then he jerked his chin toward my knees. “You’re bleeding. Come on, I’ll take you home. And I’ll park where your dad can’t see.”