In Harmony(19)

She grinned. “I’ve been told.”

We stopped at my locker and Angie leaned against the bank while I exchanged my English notebook for economics. One bank of lockers down, Isaac was turning the dial on his padlock. I kept my eyes on my belongings, trying to ignore the pull to look at him.

Well, come on, he’s gorgeous. I should want to look at him. It’s normal.

“So,” Angie drawled the word into seventeen syllables. “I’m going to throw this out there one last time then leave you alone, I promise.” She batted her eyelashes and pouted like a begging puppy. “Yearbook?”

It would’ve been so easy to say yes. Yearbook was safe. Something I could do from the sidelines. Documenting other kids living their lives would be like a science experiment: What Normal Looks Like. But the memory of Isaac’s acting the other night—the catharsis of emotion—called to me. Hamlet felt like the first thing I could do—a step toward getting me out from under Xavier’s black X. Or at least try.

I shut my locker to look at Angie and sucked in a breath.

“I know you won’t believe me that it has nothing to do with Isaac, but I’m going to audition for Hamlet.”

There. It’s out there. No going back.

“Yeah?” Angie pursed her lips. “Have you ever acted before?”

“Never,” I said. “It’s stupid, right? I’m not going to get a part. I don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“Way to be positive, Holloway,” Angie said, then softened. “For real, if this is what you want, then go for it. I’ll help.”

“You will?”

“Duh.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, honestly, you’d make a killer Ophelia.”

“Ophelia,” I said, rolling the name over my tongue like a sweet candy, and racked my brain for what I knew of Hamlet. Which wasn’t much. “Doesn’t she go crazy and kill herself?”

“That’s the one. Big, juicy role. Iconic. My queen, Kate Winslet, played her. And Julia Stiles. Helena Bonham-Carter…”

“Yeah?” I asked, my hopes rising, then crashing again. “If it’s an important role, they’re not going to trust it to a noob like me.”

Angie blew a small raspberry. “The director, Ford, casts talent, not experience. Why else do you think Oedipus was full of grocers and hairdressers instead of grad students? You need a killer monologue to audition with.” She dramatically jabbed her finger down the hallway. “Get thee to the library.”

“Um, what?” I laughed, grateful for this quirky, kindhearted gal for pushing herself into my life.

“Get thee to a library?” Angie said. “Get it? Like, the ‘get thee to a nunnery’? From Hamlet?”

“Oh. Right.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, then began ticking off items on her fingers. “You haven’t acted before. You don’t know the play. You don’t think you’re going to get a part. And you’re not trying to hang around Isaac Pearce every night for the next two months.” She threw up both hands. “Girl, what the heck are you auditioning for?”

I shrugged, not looking at her. “I have to do something.”

“It’s getting a little late in the college app game.”

“It’s not that…”

“Then what is it?” Angie’s soft face morphed into concern. She put her hand on my arm. “Hey. I’m here.”

The simple declaration was almost enough to yank the truth right out of me. Tears threatened, but before I could speak, a huge guy with a blond buzz cut, wearing a navy blue George Mason windbreaker, walked by with some of his buddies. He stopped when he saw me and looked me up and down with pale blue eyes.

“Hey there, Princess. You’re the new girl, right? I been seeing you around. And I like what I see.”

A normal girl would’ve rolled her eyes at the cheesy line. Or told him to fuck off. Or maybe been flattered, if this guy’s brand of meathead was her type. But my chest tightened and the air seemed thinner, harder to take in with his hulking presence so close to me.

Angie leaned in to me. “Willow, meet Ted Bowers. ‘Roided out captain of the wrestling team.”

Ted’s face scrunched with anger. “Shut up, Angie. Dork.” He turned back to me, his expression smoothing out into an overly friendly smile. He took a step closer. “We should hang out sometime. I’ll show you around.”

I felt my head nod while every particle of me recoiled from his obvious intentions. I’d gone mute, hardly able to draw a breath. Begging whatever gods would listen to not let me have a full-blown panic attack right in the middle of the hallway.

“Are you scared of me, Princess?” Ted said, looking back to laugh with his buddies, then back to me. “I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.”

My throat started to close and lights danced in front of my eyes. Distantly, I heard Angie tell Ted to shut up, and then Isaac Pearce was there.

He pushed between Ted and me like a shield, towering over the wrestler. His smoke-and-soap scent was like smelling salts, bringing me back around. I pulled in a deep breath and the lightheadedness faded a little.

“Oh look, it’s Oedipus,” Ted said. “What’s up, motherfucker? Get it? A mother…fucker?”