I've Got My Eyes on You(34)
“I never thought of it that way, Pat. I guess I still have a lot to learn.”
“You’re doing fine,” Pat said. “And now let me get to the reason why I dropped by. Aline, I have a favor to ask and I promise I’ll understand if you say no. A lot of the girls who were on the lacrosse team this spring with Kerry graduated and have left for college. But last year’s juniors, who are seniors now, are still coping with what happened to her. I believe it would be very helpful if they had a chance to share with you their feelings about Kerry. I’d like you to be the guidance counselor for these girls. Now, I understand if—”
Aline cut her off. “Pat, it’s okay. It will be therapeutic for me too to hear about Kerry through the eyes of her friends. I’d love to work with them.”
Pat left the office, promising to email the names. Aline experienced a tremendous sense of relief. She didn’t have to invent a reason to spend time alone with these girls. Pat had given her one.
Before the first-period bell rang, she stopped into the teachers’ lounge for a second cup of coffee. Several teachers were there, including Scott Kimball, who was talking to a very attractive history teacher who was new to the area. She was looking at him admiringly. I have to admit, Aline thought, he is a good-looking man. She guessed the new teacher, Barbara Bagli, to be about thirty, and that she was very interested in Scott.
Her suspicions were confirmed when Barbara told Scott, “My parents are going to be visiting next week from Cleveland, and they love to go out to nice restaurants. Where would you recommend?”
Waving Aline over to join them, he said, “Aline and I had a great dinner at the French restaurant La Petite in Nyack, last week. Aline, wasn’t it terrific?”
Aline had assumed, incorrectly, that Scott would be discreet about their having spent an evening together. She looked around to see if any of the other teachers were privy to their conversation. She didn’t think so. She tried to conceal her irritation as she answered, “La Petite is wonderful. I’m sure you and your parents will enjoy it, Barbara.”
Aline walked over to the coffee machine to avoid further small talk. As she poured a cup for herself, she thought, That is the last time I will socialize with Scott Kimball outside of school and give him the chance to embarrass me.
43
Alan lived through the next week in a daze. He remembered unpacking his suitcase, hanging up some clothes and putting the rest in the dresser. Mom made sure I was neat, he thought. She’d give me a smack if I left clothes on the floor.
He didn’t know what to do with himself. His father suggested that he try to find a temporary job. Temporary? he asked himself. How long is that? Until I go to trial and get convicted of murder?
Kerry’s face was always in his mind. The fun things they had done together kept jumping back into his memory. The senior prom last May. The ride down to the shore afterward. Even though it was very late, they both got up early and took a walk on the beach. Again he could feel the warmth of the sand under his bare feet and hear Kerry’s voice. “Alan, you were the best-looking guy at the prom. I’m so happy you let me pick your tux. It was perfect.”
“And I was also the luckiest guy at the prom because I was with the most beautiful girl in the room.”
Every day after breakfast he had driven to visit her grave. He stopped after noticing someone taking his picture next to the Dowling monument. The next day it had appeared on the front page of The Record newspaper.
Before he was arrested, he had always had a good appetite. Now it felt as if anything he ate stuck in his throat. His mother’s constant reminders to eat made him feel even more stressed. Finally he burst out, “Mom, are you trying to fatten me up for my trial to show what good care you’re taking of me?”
“Alan, these outbursts of yours are the kind of thing you pulled when you were a child. I didn’t tolerate them then, and I’m not going to tolerate it now. I can understand that you are upset, but so are your father and I. We’re not taking our anxiety out on you; don’t take yours out on us.”
Right to the end, Alan thought, Mom will run her tight ship.
As usual, she had the last word. “And don’t forget. The only reason you are in this situation is because of your temper. If you hadn’t quarreled with Kerry and had just told the truth, you’d be at Princeton right now.”
After that exchange Alan vowed to say as little as possible to either of his parents. Unable to sleep at night, he slept most of the day.
His mother went back to her job as a critical care nurse at Englewood Hospital. His father had only taken two days off at the time of his arrest. He was back to catching the 7:14 A.M. train to the city.
The only one whose company he looked forward to was Brenda, their longtime housekeeper. Her sympathy and concern for him was a welcome change from his parents. One afternoon, after fixing him some pancakes, Brenda said, “Alan, I know there’s no way in the world you hurt that poor girl. Everything is going to be okay for you. I can feel it in my bones, and my bones never lie.”
A ghost of a smile came over Alan’s face. “Take care of those bones, Brenda. They’re the only things that believe in me.”
By now all of his friends had left for their colleges. He had not heard from any of them. The several texts and emails he sent received no response. He could understand why Rich, Stan and Bobby were angry at him. But why had his other friends dropped him? Did he really have to ask?