I Am Watching You(66)
I smile at this as Luke comes into the kitchen, rummaging in the cupboard for the biscuit barrel. I consider stopping him; I really should make something proper to eat, but the strain of everything has thrown me.
‘I’m sorry, Matthew. How rude of me – I haven’t even asked about the baby and your wife. How are they doing?’
The change in Matthew’s face is immediate, that bright and bemused sense of pride and disbelief, the punch-drunk expression of wonderment you carry in those early days. It’s touching. ‘Great, thank you. Really great. She had a C-section so is a bit fed up and a bit sore. Stuck in hospital for a few days.’
‘Tell her to make the most of the rest. This is Luke, by the way. My son. Luke – this is the private investigator. Matthew. Remember I told you?’
I watch closely as Luke eyes Matthew with a wariness to match his father’s. I feel defensive of both Tony and Luke suddenly. Matthew is right. It is good that they look out for me. I think of all that Luke has been through these past few weeks with his girlfriend, and feel disloyal and foolish for my suspicions over the stupid map-magnifier. How on earth could I have gotten myself into such a muddle? I will not tell Matthew and I will not challenge Luke. Maybe the wretched thing was in my own pocket somehow. Yes. Maybe I was the one who dropped it.
‘Are we having supper?’ Luke is blanking Matthew and staring at me.
Sometimes I wonder if life would have been easier for Luke with a sibling. Someone to confide in. Nearer his own age. We did try for another child. They never found anything wrong but it just never happened.
‘To be honest, I think I’ll order something in. Do you fancy Chinese, Luke?’
‘Great.’
Once he has left the room, I confide in Matthew just how big a trial it has been for the whole family this past year. My fault. Me not being myself; so preoccupied with this case, especially since my name was leaked. The wretched postcards. Longing for it all to end.
‘Are you sure there isn’t anything else you need to tell me? About someone watching the shop? You didn’t notice a car colour? Anyone odd hanging around? At the shop? Or here?’
‘No. Just an odd feeling, really. You know – that sensation when you feel someone is watching. Like I say, I’ve been so jumpy. Probably paranoia because of those stupid postcards.’
‘OK. Well, I’m sorry, Ella, but for now I’d better go.’ Matthew is checking his watch.
‘You’d be welcome to stay. Share the takeaway?’ Even as the words slip from my mouth I regret them.
‘No. Very kind but I have chores to do. But you know you can call me any time. If anything happens. If anything worries you.’
‘Thank you.’ I find I am embarrassed by the extremity of my relief that he will not be staying for the meal. It will be so much more relaxing for Tony and Luke. I really must learn to put my family before my blessed manners. I like Matthew, but I have to remember this is his job. I switch the channel on the television so we can just quickly check there is no update from Spain before Matthew leaves. As he reaches into his pocket for his car keys, I hear a text buzz on his phone.
‘Is it the case?’
He nods and is reading, his face darkening, before looking up at me.
‘OK. So this is in the strictest confidence, Ella. But there is some quite difficult news. I suspect it will be a while before this breaks openly. But I have a contact in touch with the Ballard family and . . . Well. I feel you should know this now.’
I brace myself, muscles taut in my stomach. Also my arms, palms pressed flat into my thighs. I am looking at the television, where the shots of the flat in Spain show that the curtains are now drawn. The scrolling headline along the bottom of the screen says there have been no new developments. But I am afraid that Matthew is going to tell me the worst. The bubble of hope burst.
‘Is she dead? Has he killed her?’
‘No, Ella. The woman in the flat. The hostage. It isn’t Anna. We have no idea what the hell Karl is playing at. But it isn’t Anna.’
CHAPTER 41
THE FRIEND
Sarah is lying in Lily’s bed, staring at her sister asleep on the blow-up mattress alongside. Lily is doing the same sweet thing she did as a small child, the index finger of her right hand pressing the tip of her nose. When they were little, Sarah would tease her.
Why do you do that, Lily? Push your nose up when you sleep?
Helps me breathe better.
That’s ridiculous.
I don’t care.
The bracelets are still around Lily’s wrist, and Sarah is wondering if she at least takes them off in the shower. Moon popped in earlier; Sarah is certain now that they are an item, but she is relieved he has backed off for now. Maybe Lily had a word when Sarah took a bath.
Sarah is exhausted, and though the bath was soothing, she always knew she would struggle to sleep. She wanted to take the mattress on the floor but Lily insisted. Even managed a joke. I can keep an eye out for monsters under the bed.
The room is thankfully not in pitch darkness. There is a small pane of glass above the door, letting in gentle light from the landing. Lily explained that a couple of others in the house suffer insomnia and bad dreams, so a gentle light is plugged in on the landing so they don’t feel afraid when they have to get up in the night.
Caroline, the woman who owns the house, is apparently returning in the morning and Sarah is nervous. She needs to ask if she can stay a while. She can’t bear the thought of returning to her mother, not after all she has learned from Lily. There have been more text messages, pleading for her to come home, but Sarah has been curt with her replies, saying only that she is fine and that she is with Lily. Leave me be.