Hungry For More(12)

I lay in bed for over an hour before forcing myself to get up and shower. I replayed everything that happened between us, and what bothers me the most is that he was gone when I woke up. If it wasn't for the sheets with his scent all over them, I would’ve thought it was a dream. I let him do all those things to me without a fight and he slipped from my bed without even a kiss goodbye.

Why did that hurt so damn much? Maybe it’s a normal thing to do. I shouldn't be shocked or even hurt. He was blunt with what he wanted and it was clear who he was. There were no promises made either. I need to calm down. The pregnancy talk and his words about a ring on my finger were dirty words he used to get me worked up. He somehow knew that would turn me on and he was right. He went right into a fantasy I didn’t know I had and it pushed me over the edge.

Jensen is a man who knows what to say and do to get into a woman’s panties, and I groan thinking how easily he’d gotten into mine. I never thought I’d be one of those girls who lost it over a man, but here I am feeling like a fool.

“Maybe my parents were right,” I say to myself, knowing I’d never tell them that. Maybe I am too na?ve for my own good and I need protecting. Jensen has heartbreak written all over him, and I chose wrong before when I befriended Jimmy.

I go into the bathroom and give myself one last look before putting on some lip gloss. It’s safe to say Jensen isn't a stalker, but he does happen to be my brother’s best friend. They travel all the time and I’d end up being crazy clingy while Jensen was away and I don’t want that.

If he’s anything like my brother, he becomes obsessive about a project. Then suddenly he’s jumping to the next thing before the dust can settle. He doesn’t look back and I should take a page out of his book. It’s better to think of last night as only that. It was a taste of what it’s like to be with someone and possibly what a relationship would consist of in the future. I just need to remember to slow down with the next guy.

If I was a one-night stand or a weekend fling, I guess it would be disappointing to have that with a virgin. Maybe that’s why he didn’t push for more last night. Sleeping with your best friend’s sister is bad enough, but taking her virginity might be too far for even for someone as aggressive and dominant as Jensen.

I put my makeup away and steel myself. I know after last night if Jensen wants to kiss me, a little lip gloss isn't going to stop him. My own brother sat across the table from us and Jensen didn’t have a problem slipping his hand under my skirt. Maybe the thrill of it was what turned him on and I’d be a liar if I said I didn't get off on it, too. But I don't want his hands on me if that’s all he’s after.

I open my bedroom door and poke my head out. When I don’t see anyone I make my escape down the hallway and pause for a moment when I hear someone in the kitchen. When I see it’s my brother I sigh and I don’t know if it’s from relief or annoyance.

“Hey,” I say as I walk into the kitchen, trying to play it cool. When I checked myself out in the mirror earlier I looked the same as yesterday, but I felt different.

“Hey,” he says as he takes a drink of his coffee. He doesn’t look like he got much sleep. He’s not his normal peppy morning self. When he’s here he’s always in a good mood.

“You look tired. With how fast you passed out last night I thought you’d be rested today.” I grab my own coffee cup and pour myself a mug.

“I didn't mean to fall asleep.” he yawns, sounding annoyed with himself.

I don’t respond even though I want to tell him he needs to make sure he gets rest. He works too much, but I know it will fall on deaf ears. I, unlike the rest of this family, know when to let people figure things out on their own.

“We should probably get a move on it soon.” I glance towards the hallway. “Is Jensen up yet?” I hedge, and my brother nods.

“He’s always up,” he says, stifling another yawn. “He took off an hour ago.”

My heart drops and my hand holding the creamer halfway tipped to my mug stops and I stare at my brother as he looks at his watch.

“I’m sure he’ll be back any minute. He was edgy this morning, so he went for a run. That’s what he usually does when he’s in one of his moods.” He rolls his eyes and then drinks his coffee.

“Moods?” I try and act casual as I hold out the pot to fill my brother’s cup up.

I was going to rush out of here and go to my parents’ but now I decide to stay and use the time to learn something about the man who’s dominating my life in more than one way. He’s gone from taking over my fantasies just from a picture to taking over everything with his presence.

“Who knows? He’s one of the smartest men I’ve ever met. I’m sure it’s hard to get that shit to shut off. Most men would find a woman and…” He trails off as if I didn't know what he was going to say. Most men would fuck to clear their heads. I might be a virgin, but I’m not completely innocent.

“I’m not twelve, Brian, I get it.”

He shrugs as I lean my hip against the counter and drink my coffee. The thought of Jensen fucking another woman sends a spark of jealousy shooting through me.

“Speaking of you not being twelve, why don't you put on one of those jacket things over your dress.” He motions at me. I stare at him like he’s lost his mind. “The little jackets you have hanging in the closet.”