Human Acts(59)

I opened my bag and took out the three candles. I stood one in front of each boy’s grave, knelt down, and lit them. I didn’t pray. I didn’t close my eyes, or observe a minute’s silence. The candles burned steadily. Their orange flames undulating soundlessly, gradually being sucked into the center and hollowed out. Only then did I notice how incredibly cold my ankles were. Without realizing it, I’d been kneeling in a snowdrift that covered Dong-ho’s grave. The snow had soaked through my socks, seeping in right through to my skin. I stared, mute, at that flame’s wavering outline, fluttering like a bird’s translucent wing.



Of the documents which aided me during the writing of this book, I am particularly grateful to Historical Sources on the Gwangju May Democratic Uprising (Institute on Modern Korean History, Pale Green, 1990), Gwangju, Women (Gwangju Jeonnam Women’s Federation, Humanitas, 2012), We Are Righteous People (film directed by Lee Hye-ran), May Elegy (film directed by Kim T’ae-il), and 5:18 Suicides—Psychological Post-mortems (play produced by An Chu-sik). And I am deeply grateful to all of those who shared their private memories and gave me encouragement.