How to Woo a Wallflower (Romancing the Rules #3)(64)

“He is ambitious,” she conceded, “but he says we must wait on you before arranging our wedding and new lodgings. Not sure I like that he must have my brother’s money afore he’ll be my husband.”

“I asked him to wait.” Gabe leaned closer to whisper. “Before I knew about the babe. You two should start out with as much as you can. Consider the blunt a wedding gift.”

“ ’Twould be happy to, if Thomas weren’t determined to have the sum before we wed.”

Gabe had stopped by the bank and withdrawn nearly every pound to his name. He lifted the notes and coins from his inner coat pocket and laid them on the table between them.

Sara dove toward the pile and clasped her arms over the cash as if a gang of pickpockets were at her back. “Are you mad, Gabe? A man doesn’t flash his coin in public. Especially when he’s carrying such a pile.”

Gabe placed his hand over hers. “This is Knightsbridge, Sara. I think we’re safe.” Lifting her hands, he gathered the notes and coins and placed neat piles in them. “Now, take this and get yourself to the registry office. Tell Thomas I’ll send more as soon as I’m able.”

“And you’ve still enough for rent at the boardinghouse?”

He offered her a smile that felt stiff and unnatural on his face. “This month’s rent is paid. I’ll find more for next month.”

“Find more?” As she stuffed the money into her pockets, her brow pleated in a fretful crease. “Won’t your wages be coming next week?”

Gabe raised his mug to drink the gritty dregs of his coffee. “I quit my job at Ruthven’s. Another will come along.” He heard the lie in his tone. There wouldn’t be another assistant as loyal as Daughtry, nor an employer as willing to trust his judgement as Kit Ruthven. There sure as hell would never be another Clary Ruthven.

“This has to do with the daughter.” Sara’s fingers were cool as she reached for his hand. “You told her the truth, didn’t you? About Rigg and what you did to get your position at Ruthven’s?”

“She deserved the truth.”

“I cannot disagree.” Settling back, she placed her palms against her belly. “I’m only sorry she couldn’t find forgiveness in her heart.”

“Clary has more forgiveness in her heart than anyone I’ve ever known,” he retorted. And too harshly.

Sara’s eyes widened. “Clary, is it? Goodness, you took my advice, then? Told the young lady what you felt for her?”

Gabe scrubbed a hand across his face. “She knows what she means to me.” Yet he hadn’t said the three words to her that she’d said to him. I love you. Because he wasn’t at all sure he could back up the words with actions. Clary had every inch of his rotten heart, but could he give her all that a loved one deserved? Could he provide for her? Protect her from his past?

“And yet you still gave up the post that changed everything.” Sara ducked her head to catch his gaze. “You did enjoy your work, didn’t you?”

“Every single day. I relished having a purpose of my own choosing. Knowing that the money in my pocket had been fairly earned, and no one had to bleed for my earnings.”

“Then why did you give her up?”

Gabe wasn’t sure whether his sister had referred to his job at Ruthven’s or the woman he loved. “I got them both by lying. Clary didn’t know the truth of who I am the first time I touched her. She sure as hell didn’t know I’d blackmailed her father for a job.” He hunched over his coffee cup as he would a mug of beer or a glass of rotgut gin, inhaling the fumes, considering whether he could manage another cup. “I don’t deserve her, Sara. I’m not sure I ever will.”

“Codswallop.” She pointed an insistent finger at him. “You listen here, brother of mine. We don’t choose whom we love, and we don’t choose where we’re born or to whom. Her father was a right bastard, according to Rigg’s girls. Our mother was little better. What does any of that matter now? You love the girl. If she loves you, go to her, Gabe. Marry her.”

He gazed at her with his head tipped down. “I have no job, sister of mine. No means of paying my rent next month. Where would we live, me and this lady to whom I want to give the world on a silver platter?”

“Has she no money?”

“She was as happy as I to receive her wages at the end of the week.” He waved Sara’s eagerness off. She’d chosen the worst possible moment to start being impractical. “Clary is independent. I’m not sure she’d considered marriage. To anyone.” That thought made him want to smash the table and chairs in front of him into a thousand pieces. Of course another man would come along who’d want her. Woo her. Another man who’d be able to offer the kind of life Gabe couldn’t.

He clenched his fists and glared out the window toward Ruthven’s. How long until some other gentleman caught her eye? A clever man, well bred, with lined pockets and manners that didn’t slip when irritation stoked his ire.

“What will you do, Gabe? You’ve backed yourself into a corner.”

He thought long and hard, of items he could sell, money he could borrow and from whom, skills he might barter.

“There’s a way out.” He lifted the crumpled note from Rigg out of his inner coat pocket. “A hundred pounds for one fight.”