Hotbloods (Hotbloods #1)(46)

I gulped. “Right.” That was worrying, to say the least. To think that we could go to all this trouble to get Navan’s ship repaired, only to have the coldbloods invent their own ship and discover Earth a few months or years later. Still, Navan was right. What else could we do but try? Maybe, after we had retrieved the blood sample, we could brainstorm ways to at least prepare Earth for the possibility. Maybe we would have to tell humans about coldbloods after all, in order to allow Earth’s leaders to prepare for their arrival. I could take Navan and Bashrik to meet them as proof.

But, one step at a time. The most pressing matter was the blood sample—my blood sample—that was currently on its merry way to Vysanthe.

Gazing at Navan, I wondered again what was driving him to help us. What was stopping him from doing a Jethro, and selling us out for an easier life. He had mentioned guilt before, but what guilt could be so strong as to drive him to such sacrifices for the sake of a species that had no connection to him? A species that, up until recently, he didn’t even know existed.

“Navan,” I ventured, knowing that talking to him wasn’t going to help him fall asleep, but I couldn’t help myself now. “Do you mind telling me why you’re doing this for us? You’re putting yourself out in a major way. It would be much easier for you to, you know…” I trailed off, seeing that he had caught my drift.

He sat up against the pillows, his head rising to be more level with mine, and grimaced. “Do you remember during our first ‘question and answer’ session, I told you about an alchemist who came up with the Immortality Theory? The man who caused this whole frenzy of coldbloods seeking out the blood of far-flung lands?”

I nodded.

His face darkened. “That alchemist was my father.”

I stared at him, my lips parting. “Oh.”

“You remember I told you that originally I was an alchemist, too? Before I switched professions and became an explorer?”

“Yes,” I said uncertainly.

“Well, my father was my alchemy teacher, and the first several years of my apprenticeship were spent helping him develop the theory. He was the one driving the project, but I did most of the grunt work.” He sat up and turned around as if in shame, planting his feet on the floor as he turned his back on me. “I was the only one of his ten sons who decided to take up his profession, mostly for reasons of ego. My father is renowned throughout all of Vysanthe as an expert in his field, and my brothers didn’t want to feel overshadowed by him. I didn’t care about that, though, because I really had a genuine interest in the subject. So I took it up… only to regret it. I didn’t know at the time what the theory would lead to, or even the purpose of many of the lab tasks he was having me perform—but regardless, nothing can or will ever change that I am essentially the theory’s co-creator, and responsible for… all of this. I’m responsible for a lot of things that I wish I could take back.”

His last sentence was spoken with a gravity that resonated through my very being. I felt his emotions so deeply in that moment, his remorse and his frustration, it was as if I were experiencing them myself. I couldn’t imagine the level of pain the guilt must be causing him—especially when it wasn’t even his fault.

Okay. This explains a lot. I wasn’t sure how to respond to his revelation. I didn’t sense that he wanted any kind of sympathy or reassurance from me—just that it was something he was getting off his chest, since I had asked. So I remained quiet, waiting for him to continue.

“As soon as I realized what I had helped my father accomplish, I gave up alchemy and decided to become an explorer. I wanted a ship better than anyone else because… although I didn’t know for how long I’d be able to keep it hidden, given all the damage I was complicit in causing, I wanted to be the first to discover the blood, if it really was out there.”

“Why do you think your father kept the theory a secret from you, when you were working on it?” I asked.

“Not because he thought I’d be against it, if that’s what you’re wondering—he expected me to be onboard with it. He kept it a secret simply because he didn’t want a single leaky hole. He wanted to be the first and only alchemist to present the groundbreaking theory to our Queen Gianne, as it would enhance his already high status, and didn’t want to risk me slipping anything to anyone, even by accident. That’s how my father is. However, in an incident that I believe was not related to Jethro, but rather some other spy of Queen Brisha who managed to infiltrate her sister’s palace, some of my father’s papers were stolen—and the theory was leaked to the other side. Once both queens knew about the theory, it became a race to see who could discover the right blood first, and so from there, the whole thing snowballed.”

Finally, he turned to look at me again, and his eyes were so intense that I flinched, barely able to hold his gaze. “Countless lives have been lost because of me, as my people go around plundering planets, seeking out the magic blood. And I will be responsible for many more before my life is done. So maybe now you can understand better why I’m doing what I’m doing. Any creature who wasn’t a complete monster would do the same. It’s not noble or brave… It’s just a way to live with myself.”

He went silent, and his words hung in the air. I didn’t know what to say.

He turned over and reached for another vial and downed it, before resettling his head against the pillows, and turning his back on me again.