Hooking Him (How to Catch an Alpha #3)(19)

“Did he ask you when he was talking to you over the counter with his face close to yours? Because if it was then, I would have been distracted too.”

“You really were spying on us.” My lips twitch into a smile.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” She shrugs, then eyes me with curiosity. “It looked like you enjoyed the kiss.”

“It wasn’t really a kiss—more of a brush of lips,” I say, trying to downplay it, because I haven’t even had the chance to come to terms with the way I reacted to such a small touch of his mouth to mine. I haven’t kissed a lot of men, but even with the ones I have, I’ve never felt it to my toes.

“You really are working hard to make things between the two of you seem insignificant. Why is that?” she asks softly, and I stop what I’m doing to look at her.

“The truth?” I ask, and she nods. “I don’t know if I’m ready to put myself out there with someone, and honestly, I don’t think he will like me very much if he finds out about my past.”

“Your past?”

The only person who knows the truth about my parents, the reason I was getting married, and then why I decided to move here is Edie. Chrissie knows I was engaged, but she doesn’t know the full story. I chew the inside of my cheek, then let out a deep breath, hoping I’m doing the right thing by telling her. I would hate it if she wanted me to quit or looked at me differently.

“My parents are pretty wealthy, and they wanted me to marry someone of the same status. I got with my ex because he had money, not because he was a good guy or because I liked him.”

“Anna,” she whispers, and I’m surprised there isn’t even a small hint of disgust in her tone.

“I don’t like that I did that. I’m not proud of the person I was,” I say as my stomach churns with nausea.

Her expression softens. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” I say quietly, hating that this is a conversation we are having.

“Was he a good guy, and did you like him?”

I don’t even have to think about it. “He was very nice, and I did like him. I just wasn’t in love with him; I never was. I was just comfortable with him. What we had was easy. We both just kind of lived our lives. There wasn’t any real passion between us.”

“And you think he didn’t know that?” she asks, and I must look confused, because she continues. “Sweetie, if you think a man can be with a woman and not recognize when things are not like they should be, you’re wrong. You might have agreed to marry him for your own reasons, but it seems to me that he had reasons of his own for wanting to marry you too.”

Did he? “He loved me.” I frown.

“Did he tell you that?” she asks, looking disbelieving.

“Yes.”

“Did you tell him that you loved him?”

My stomach drops. “Yes,” I whisper.

“Do you understand the point I’m trying to make?” she questions softly.

“I think so.”

“People date for all sorts of reasons. Some people only want to date the most attractive members of the opposite sex, even when they have nothing in common, because it makes them feel better about who they are. Some men only want to date younger women, because they want to feel superior, and some women only want to date men who are financially stable, because they don’t want to worry about money. You and Lance got together because each of you met a need for the other. There is nothing wrong with that. Who knows? You both could have spent the rest of your lives content with what you had. The only thing is . . . you wanted more. You wanted to be in love and assumed he wanted that too.”

She looks away, shaking her head. “I know you.” Her gaze comes back to me. “I know he said he loved you, but I have to say, if he did, he would’ve been here trying to convince you to come home. That’s what Gus would do if I told him I was leaving, and I know Tyler would do the same with Leah. When you love someone, you don’t just let them give up on the relationship.”

I stare at her, stunned. I’ve never thought of it like that. I always just assumed he was in love with me, because he said he was. Now, I’m not so sure. When I told him I was calling off the wedding and ending our engagement, he didn’t plead with me to stay or even ask me why I didn’t want to be with him anymore. Looking back, he didn’t even seem surprised. At the time, I just assumed he was trying to make things easier for me, but now I’m wondering if he didn’t fight because I really didn’t matter to him, because our relationship didn’t really matter to him.

“I think you’re right,” I whisper, unsure how to feel. I don’t have the right to feel used by him, but if I’m honest with myself, I do. “I don’t think he loved me. I mean, I think he cared about me, but I don’t think he was in love with me.”

“Only he knows that. The only point I’m trying to make is that I can see you’re interested in Calvin, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s interested in you. So maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to give him a shot to see where things go.”

“He scares me,” I admit, fiddling with the pockets of my apron.

“I bet he does.”

“Like, really scares me,” I say. Even thinking about him makes me feel anxious.