Honeysuckle Summer (The Sweet Magnolias #7)(60)

“Is that how you wound up with a guy like Paul Hammond? You decided to go for someone the opposite of your dad, the kind of man your mom should have married?”

“I never thought of it that way, but you’re right. I met him at my debutante ball. My mother and her parents were very impressed with his family connections and the fact that he was going to be a doctor. It didn’t seem to bother them that he was older and that I was way too young to be making such a huge commitment. I was a little in awe of the life he could offer me.” She met Carter’s gaze. “Pretty shallow, huh?”

“I’d say pretty normal for a girl who was, what? Seventeen?”

“Sixteen, when we first met. We married as soon as I graduated from high school. I’d barely turned eighteen.”

“How long before the problems started?”

“If I’m being honest, they started before the wedding, but I was too naive to realize that the way he wanted to control me wasn’t about love. It was about power and jealousy. If he called and I wasn’t there, he flipped out. He’d accuse me of cheating on him. I actually thought it was amazing that he loved me that much.”

“And no one in your family spotted the warning signs?”

“He hid them around my family. He was always the perfect gentleman, totally solicitous with them. They thought he was wonderful. And I loved him so much, I didn’t want them to know about this dark side that popped up from time to time, so I never said a word against him. Later, when things were really bad, my mother refused to believe it.”

Carter shook his head. “So you had no one on your side?”

“I think maybe my father would have been, but I didn’t want to tell him. Maybe I just couldn’t bear the thought that he might side with my mother. I would have been so disillusioned if he had.” She shook her head at how mixed up everything had been back then. “And then my dad died, and I was relieved that I’d never burdened him with my problems. He died thinking I was happily settled with someone who’d always take care of me.”

“What about Sarah or Annie?”

“I’d pretty much ended my friendship with them when I left for private school. In retrospect, I know I could have gone to them at any time. They certainly didn’t hesitate to help when I finally did turn to them, but for a long time I was too embarrassed to admit to anyone what a terrible mistake I’d made.”

“That’s pretty common,” Carter said. “Men who are abusive like to isolate their wives or girlfriends, make them think they’re the cause of all the problems.”

Raylene nodded. “Before I started seeing Dr. McDaniels, when I thought I could conquer all my problems on my own, I read a lot of books and a ton of articles online. I could see myself practically on every page. That was when I finally stopped feeling so alone and downright stupid.”

“I’m so sorry you went through all that,” Carter said. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“No, I didn’t,” Raylene agreed. “But for way too long I thought I did. I thought it was payback for being young and foolish and, let’s face it, a little greedy. I wanted what Paul could offer me—the big house, the fancy clothes, the expensive car. It’s taken a long time to adjust my thinking. Not only did I have to accept that no matter how selfish and immature I was, I didn’t deserve to be abused, but I had to grow up and realize that none of those material things matter.”

“Tough lessons,” he said.

“They were for me.” She met his gaze. “Carrie and Mandy are so lucky to have grown up with someone like you in their lives. They know how a decent man behaves. They won’t settle for less.”

Carter flushed at the compliment. “Don’t make me into any kind of hero, Raylene. I’ve made plenty of mistakes.”

“Not the kind that count,” she said with certainty. “Even if you weren’t wearing that uniform, I’d know you were one of the good guys. It’s in everything you do, in the way you care about them and about everyone else. I knew it that day you brought Tommy home. Even though I could feel your anger radiating at me for letting him slip away, what I saw was how much you cared about that little boy.”

He held her gaze. “We’ve come a long way since then,” he said quietly.

“I know, and I’m really glad about that,” she said. “I just wish I knew if we’ll ever be able to go any further.”

“We will,” Carter said firmly. “Count on it. I certainly intend to.”

Raylene wanted so badly to believe he was right, but about a million doubts crowded in, shouting so loudly she couldn’t ignore them. Maybe a few years ago, before Paul, she could have had more faith. As it was, though, she’d long since stopped believing in fairy tales and happily-ever-afters.





14




When Carter got home at nine o’clock, both of his sisters were sitting in the living room waiting for him. Their dour expressions reminded him of the way his parents had greeted him when he’d missed curfew.

“Where were you?” Carrie demanded. “You stayed out all night, and don’t even think about denying it with some phony story about going out for coffee or breakfast or something. You’re still in your uniform.”