Honeysuckle Summer (The Sweet Magnolias #7)(54)

“No, actually it was just an observation. Most people who cancel their appointments with me do it when they need to see me the most. I can’t always track them down.” She leveled a look into Raylene’s eyes. “Are you going to send me away?”

Raylene heaved a sigh at the daring note in her voice. “No, you can come in,” she conceded grudgingly.

“Thank you,” Dr. McDaniels replied solemnly. She took a seat in a chair, then waited for Raylene to sit. “What happened that made you want to avoid me?”

“I just don’t think we’re going to make any more progress,” Raylene said, thinking of her disastrous outing to the patio a few days earlier. She’d managed a couple of trips outside since then, but they hadn’t lasted long.

“Is that because you went outside on your own and had a panic attack?” the psychologist asked. “I hope not, because we’ve been outside together since that happened. You were just fine.”

Raylene regarded her with dismay. “You found out about what happened on the patio?”

“I ran into Annie. She told me. I’m surprised you didn’t mention it yourself.”

“I was trying not to make a big deal out of it.”

“Then that’s not the only reason you called to cancel today’s appointment?”

Raylene hesitated. She knew it was much more than that one incident. This was all about Paul and his upcoming release. “My ex-husband may be getting out of prison soon.”

“So you’re justifiably scared,” Dr. McDaniels said. “Notice that I said justifiably.”

“The only place I’ve felt safe while he was in jail was inside this house. How can I possibly go outside, when he could show up any second?”

“There’s a restraining order?”

“If there isn’t, there will be. I have someone checking to make sure of that.” She met the doctor’s gaze. “You and I both know it won’t mean anything, not if he really wants to come after me.”

“Then you need to be prepared.”

“I want to learn to shoot a gun,” Raylene told her.

Not even Dr. McDaniels, who was trained to keep her reactions neutral, was able to cover her surprise. “That’s your solution?”

“I can’t think of another one. I have to be able to protect myself. I won’t feel powerless, not again.”

“What about having a gun in the house with children? That seems like a bad idea to me.”

Raylene hesitated. This was the hardest part of her decision, facing a future that didn’t include Sarah and the kids. “I’m going to move.”

“How?” Dr. McDaniels asked simply. “You haven’t been able to leave the house for months and months. To move, you’ll not only have to step outside, you’ll have to get in a car and go someplace entirely new, someplace that’s bound to feel less safe and secure.”

“Maybe you can drug me and someone will carry me,” she said, only half-facetiously.

“That’s one way,” the doctor acknowledged, though it didn’t sound as if she’d go along with it. “Of course, it might be better for you to take your stance right here.”

“Not if it’s going to put Sarah and her kids in danger,” Raylene said flatly. “That’s not an option.”

“What do your friends have to say about this?”

“They’re all against it,” she admitted. “Carter says he has a plan to protect me, but I need to do this. No one seems to understand how important it is to me to stand up to Paul once and for all.”

“Well, I can certainly understand that. I even admire your determination.” She held Raylene’s gaze. “But there’s nothing wrong with standing up to Paul and having plenty of backup nearby. We’re talking about a man who’s beaten you more than once. No one, I don’t care how strong they are, would take chances with someone like that on their own. Even armed police officers or soldiers work with partners, and they’re trained to face danger.”

“I suppose,” Raylene said, seeing her point.

“There’s something else to consider,” Dr. McDaniels told her. “When friends want to help, sometimes it’s important to let them, as much for their sakes as for your own. It’s not a sign of weakness.”

She waited until Raylene met her gaze. “Your friend Carter, for instance. He’s a policeman. You might not have known him when Paul was abusing you, but I imagine he feels pretty awful that he wasn’t there back then.”

Raylene nodded. “He’s said that.”

“Don’t you think he wants to be here for you now?”

“But protecting me is not his responsibility.”

“He apparently thinks it is.”

Raylene knew that was true. Carter clearly felt involved in keeping her safe. She knew all about the big meeting he and the other men had held over at Travis’s. Though he hadn’t told her all the details of their plan, she knew there was one.

“If anyone got hurt because of me, I’d never forgive myself,” she said.

“And if you got hurt because they did nothing, they’d never forgive themselves,” Dr. McDaniels countered. “Protecting each other is what friends do, Raylene. It seems to me you have some very good ones. Best of all, you have at least one who actually knows how to defend you and keep you safe. I’d rather see any gun in his hand than in yours.”