Honeysuckle Summer (The Sweet Magnolias #7)(22)

She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.



“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d that happen?”

“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.

Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”

“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”

“Which is?”

“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”

“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”

“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”

“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”

Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”

“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”

Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”

“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.

“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”

“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”

“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”

“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”

“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.

“Meaning?”

“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”

“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.

“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”

“Was Dr. McDaniels expecting a miraculous change?” Sarah asked.

“No.”

“What exactly did she say?”

“Not to be discouraged, that it could take a while for the medication to kick in, that I might need a stronger dose or a different medication, blah-blah-blah.”

“Oh, sweetie, I know it must have been frustrating, but she’s right. You’ve been suffering with this disorder, phobia or whatever it is for a couple of years now. It’s not going to vanish overnight.”

“It might never go away,” Raylene said. “I need to accept that.”

“Don’t you dare give in to such a defeatist attitude!” Sarah said heatedly. “I will not allow you to give up, especially after just two sessions with Dr. McDaniels. Do I have to call the rest of the Sweet Magnolias and stage an intervention? Because I will, if that’s what you need. You are better than this, Raylene Hammond. You are not a quitter. And, frankly, if a man as sexy as you seem to think Carter Rollins is suddenly wants to hang around, I’d think that would be motivation enough to keep you fighting to get better.”

“I never said I was going to quit,” Raylene said. “You don’t need to resort to an intervention. I just said I need to accept reality.”

“Accepting is barely one step away from giving up,” Sarah said, obviously still agitated. “Not an option, is that clear?”

Raylene regarded her with amusement. “If Walter could only see you now. You’re definitely not the meek little woman who let him and his parents get away with bullying her.”

Sarah blinked at the comment. “You know, you’re right. I have changed. And while we’re on the subject of Walter, what’s this I hear about you trying to fix him up with Rory Sue? The word is out the two of them were at Rosalina’s the other night.”