Honey Girl(77)

“Okay.” The line is quiet for a long minute. She leans against the railing and presses the phone closer to her ear. “Is this the worst time ever to ask about the Boston deal?”

He groans, and Grace smiles at its familiar sound. “Go ahead and twist the knife,” he says. His voice sobers and quiets, like he’s trying to make sure no one hears. “It went through. The White Pearl Tea Room, coming to an east coast near you.” His voice, even at a near whisper, is dry.

“And how do we feel about that?” she asks. “Raj, I’m—”

“If you say you’re sorry one more time, I might actually scream,” he interrupts. “It is what it is, and besides, it’ll be cheaper to come visit you this way. I’ll be way closer.”

“You know you don’t have to feel okay about this,” she tells him, and Heather’s voice echoes in her head. “Your feelings are valid, however mean or resentful you think they are.”

“What’s this?” He laughs. “Did you go to Florida and gain some wisdom?”

“Something like that. Mostly someone gets paid to be wise for me.”

“Good,” he says. “One of us needs to be wise. I mean, it’s been me for so long—”

“Shut up.”

He falls quiet. “I’ve been trying not to think about it,” he admits. “If I think about it, I’ll get angry. If I get angry—”

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I get it. But you don’t have to hide it from me, okay? I know why you’re hiding it from Baba Vihaan and even Meera, but not from me. I wasn’t there for you like I should have been, but I’m here now. I swear I am.”

“I believe you,” he says. “Dibs on the next late-night breakdown, then.”

“Deal,” she says.

Only Kelly is in the house when Grace treks in. “Mel’s getting an early start in the groves,” he calls lazily, squinting at his laptop. “I’m ordering your wedding officiant materials now, by the way,” he adds, catching her eye before she disappears upstairs. “Last chance to run away screaming.”

“Been there, done that,” she says. She leans against the doorway to the kitchen. “It still feels a little weird,” she admits. “Me and Mom still have so much to work out, you know? I still have so much to work out. It’s a process. But I still want to do this.”

“Positive?” he asks.

“Order it,” she says immediately. “I said I wanted to, and I do. Really.”

“Sounds good, kid,” he says. “Go on and git now.” Grace takes another step up before he calls again. “And, Porter?”

“Yeah?”

“It’ll be good to talk it all out with her. It never feels right to let things fester, that’s what I’ve learned. Shoving things down just breeds resentment.”

“I hear you. Thanks, Kelly.” Grace shuts and locks her door when she finally makes it upstairs. She has to force herself not to just fall into bed.

There is something she wants to do. She wants to use the eleven years she spent working and researching and sacrificing and finally decide where that will lead her. She can forge her own path. It does not have to be tumultuous and difficult. It just needs to be chosen by her.

Dear Professor MacMillan,
I hope you have been well. I apologize for the delay in my response. I did in fact receive your last email with the opportunity to interview again with Kunakin, Incorporated.
I am sure the offer has since expired, but I want to let you know I would not have accepted. They were not accommodating, welcoming or respectful of my value as a person or an astronomer. As someone that appreciates your knowledge in the field and the people within it, I would not recommend Kunakin to my fellow peers. I hope that doesn’t come across as ungrateful. It would have been a mistake for me to begin my career with them.
I have been thinking a lot about my next steps. In your email, you also mentioned a junior faculty position at Ithaca College. While I am unsure of feeling challenged in that kind of small environment, teaching has sparked a strong interest within me.
The reason I am an astronomer now is because of my first class of Intro to Astronomy with you. I felt a part of something bigger, more complex and more formidable. It was there that I learned the vast universe has room for not just those who value science and logic, but those who are drawn to the romance and mystery and poetic storytelling it compels within us.
If I can be of service to a student by introducing them to a field in need of more diverse and unique stars within its system, than I will have done my duty to all that it has given me.
Are you able to set up a time to discuss this with me? I am currently in Florida, but in the next few months, I believe I will be in a better place to explore faculty positions. I’ll mention now that I have a preference for academic institutions in the surrounding New York area.
I look forward to speaking with you. I am not just grateful for your tutelage, but honored to be held in your esteem. You propelled me toward the cosmos, and I will do my best to move others forward and farther into the unknown.
Warm regards always,
Dr. Grace Porter


Nineteen


“You busy?” Grace asks.

It’s the middle of the night, and there’s a storm raging outside. Grace follows the familiar path of the house in the dark and finds Mom in the living room surrounded by scribbled-on paper.