Honey Girl(60)

She swipes left and freezes. This one isn’t trash.

Professor MacMillan.

Dear Dr. Porter,
I hope your summer has been well. I come bearing news regarding our last conversation.
“Shit,” Grace mutters. She pushes herself up, phone gripped tightly in her hand as she makes her way down the hall.

“Everything okay?” Yuki asks. Grace hears her familiar footsteps thumping behind her.

“Fine,” she murmurs absently, fear and anticipation battling in her. “I just got an email from my advisor.”

“And you have to read it right now?”

“Yes,” Grace says. “She said it’s regarding our last conversation. The one where we talked about jobs. Where we talked about the job I was supposed to have when I graduated.”

Yuki shuts her bedroom door behind them. “I thought you didn’t even want that job. They were total assholes to you. Isn’t that why you walked out?”

Grace takes a deep breath. “That’s not the point. The point is that I was groomed for it. Professor MacMillan basically said it was guaranteed for me as her mentee. It was the next checkpoint in my plan, and I didn’t get it. I should have gotten it.”

“So, you wanted it even though you didn’t actually want it?” Yuki squints at her. “Grace, that doesn’t make any sense. Fuck that company.”

Grace opens the email. “You don’t get it,” she says. “It completely derailed everything I’d been working for, and it wasn’t fair—”

“You got a doctorate in astronomy and it all hinges on one job?”

“You’re not listening—”

“I’m just trying to understand—”

“Yuki,” Grace says firmly. “Let me read this email.”

Yuki walks over to the bed, situating herself hip to shoulder with Grace. “Go ahead and read it. Let’s see what she has to say.”

As your mentor, it weighed heavily on my mind that the opportunity I facilitated did not have the expected outcome. Like I said in my office, you are a great astronomer, Grace, capable of great things.
You have flourished under my tutelage and harnessed an energy and drive in this field that is unmatched. Such a talented scientist should never be made to feel small. With that said, I have reached out to the company once more and spoken directly with my colleagues there. They have agreed to a second interview, which will serve as a blank slate. I hope you will consider this opportunity to showcase the immeasurable work you have accomplished over eleven years.
In addition, this summer I have had the pleasure of remotely collaborating with Dr. Liz Hawthorne at Ithaca College. She has advised me that they are looking to recruit a junior faculty member and wondered if I had any contacts. They are a small but formidable team in upstate New York, and under Dr. Hawthorne’s guidance, I believe you would excel in teaching the same way you excelled in my lab. I forwarded your information, so she should be in touch soon.
As your mentor, I have your best professional interests in mind, Grace. Hopefully these opportunities are a step in the right direction. I would love to hear your thoughts on them.
Regards,
Professor Rebekah MacMillan
“Holy shit,” Yuki says. “A department in New York. I mean, Ithaca is far, but it’s not as far as Portland. Do you think Fletch would let us borrow his dad’s car for the drive up?” She flops back on the bed. “And the nerve of that company giving you a blank slate. They are the ones that need a blank slate. They—” She cuts herself off. “Okay, you’re not saying anything.”

“I wonder what she said to them,” Grace says, staring at the screen. “I mean, I was not nice about leaving. Why would they have agreed to meet me again?”

“Does it matter?” Yuki asks warily. “You’re not actually going to meet with them again, are you?”

“No.” What would be the point? She’s not going to give them the chance to make her feel small again. “But, Professor MacMillan went out of her way to set this up for me. It would also be nice to see them admit they were wrong.”

Yuki sighs. “Nice, but probably not going to happen. You know that. What about Ithaca? I told you that you’d be good at teaching. Seems like someone else knows it, too.”

“It’s a bad idea.”

“Why? Because it’s not some high-tech place with shiny, new equipment?”

Grace turns around, narrowing her eyes. “You heard what she said. They’re ‘small but formidable.’ That means they’re understaffed and underequipped and underfunded. How could I thrive there? How could I be the best without the best resources and facilities available to me?”

Yuki raises her eyebrows. “You know all that from an email?”

Grace grits her teeth. “Going there would confirm it. I’ve worked too hard to just settle. And, like, okay. Maybe I do want to go into teaching. It’s a good idea, and it makes sense for me. I want the best university, then.”

“What does best even mean in your head?” Yuki sits up, fingers twisting in the blankets. “What is best for you, Grace Porter? The best place to prove yourself? The best place to spend the next eleven years running yourself into the ground? Or does best mean maybe teaching some snot-nosed freshmen in a place that gives you room to take care of yourself? Where you can learn and grow and even fight for more without completely burning yourself out?”