Holiday for HIre(7)
The phone rang, and she was still musing when she answered absently .
“Hi, uh...is this Jane? My name’s Ian, and you just emailed me .”
Well. This was happening .
3
“H ello, Ian, my name is Jane Osborne.” Uh, duh. “But of course you know that from our previous communication. May I inquire as to your last name?” She congratulated herself on sounding so professional even as she threw herself into her desk chair, prepared to Google the result of her question .
Even as she was doing all of those things, another part of her—a rather specific part of her—was reacting to the pleasant baritone rumble of his voice. Sexy despite the strong Boston accent. He had a George Ezra vibe happening. Maybe he could even sing. He’d mentioned acting. If this date didn’t work out she could hire him to be one of the carolers at her Christmas dinner party. Or, perhaps, even if the date worked out .
So, the voice was promising. Now to find out if his looks lived up. She wasn’t holding her breath. Attractive men did not place online ads reeking of such desperation .
Her inner voice reminded her she was also desperate and online .
She ignored it .
“I’m sorry, can you spell that?” Turned out she ignored a little too well and had no idea what he’d said .
“Um, B-R-O-O-K-S .”
“Just checking to see if there was an ‘e’ or not,” she swiftly lied. Then something else occurred to her. “Ian, do you have any brothers ?”
“Actually, two, but they’re much younger, and — ”
“That’s fine,” she cut him off. Introducing him at the wedding, she could say to people that this was Ian Brooks. Of the Brooks Brothers. Semantics, of course, but all you had to do was plant a seed in people’s heads and suddenly the mediocre guy on her arm suddenly looked like a very rich conquest .
After all, there is no such thing as an ugly rich man .
“So, can you tell me a little bit more about this wedding?” he asked, jolting her back again. Getting a handle on her runaway thoughts while she was talking to Ian was going to be an important component of the mission, clearly .
“It’s a bit delicate,” Jane said, remembering that if he was a real creep, or completely toothless, or had a visible tic—well, a severe one anyway—that she wasn’t going to take him. So she couldn’t provide too many details in case she needed to pretend it had fallen through .
“It’s going to be a fairly high-end event, and it also has the honor of belonging to an ex of mine. I find myself quite between relationships at current, and your proposition intrigued me. Tell me, Ian, have you attended many formal events ?”
“A few. Ma’s funeral was a big one, few other weddings…yeah, that’s probably it. I have a black suit. It’s kind of all-purpose, isn’t it ?”
Though she doubted it was a “suitable” suit, Jane made a mental note of that as she trolled through the many, many Ian Brooks on the Internet .
He wasn’t the professor, clearly, and probably not the dead one either. Ideally, anyway. Oh, this one could be him—nope, never mind, that one lived in Birmingham .
In the absence of a convenient picture of Ian, she decided to broach her backup. “So I have an annual Christmas party, and I usually hire a neighbor boy to help with the decorating and food prep. Would you be interested in doing some of the work for me? I’d pay you, of course. And it would give us a chance to get to know each other a bit before the event. Since that is still a couple of months away, and all .”
Silence, followed by a cough. Then he spoke .
“Look, I know things on the Internet are always a little bit sketchy, but you seem just a little unbalanced, and I’m not — ”
Hold the phones. Ian thought she was unbalanced? She wasn’t the one advertising her services in basically every department but sex on the Internet !
That niggly little voice popped up again, reminding her that she was the one hiring, but this time her annoyance squelched it .
“Excuse me?” she said, in her haughtiest, most blue-blooded, most Bostonian voice .
“Hey lady, I’m not trying to be rude, it’s just that your conversation is jumping all over the place here, and I just start to get the impression that you don’t really know what you’re after here, but I don’t think I’m it. So — ”
So, no. She’d come this far already. If prostrating herself was what she must do, she’d grit her teeth and do it .
“Ian,” she tamed her voice into something velvetier, more accessible for a common guy. “I’m sorry. I suppose I’m a bit nervous. You see, I’ve never found myself in a position of needing to…hire an employee for a social function before. It’s rather difficult to decide just how one interviews for a process like this .”
There was silence on his end for a moment, and then she heard a sigh. Nailed it , she thought .
“If I’m being honest here,” and you damn well better be , Jane thought as he spoke, “I’m not exactly an expert myself. Maybe if I tell you a little more about me, it would put your mind at ease ?”
“It would, actually.” And she meant it. Time enough to learn his life story, but for now just a few items that would make him seem more like a person and less like a big old catfish would be nice .