Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer(145)
He called Julia’s cell. She didn’t answer. It was two in the morning, but there was no time of day, those days, when she would answer his call.
Hi, you’ve reached Julia…
But she would see that he had reached for her.
At the beep he said, “It’s me. I don’t know if you’ve been watching the news, but some extremists set fire to the Dome of the Rock, or tried to. Jewish extremists. I suppose they succeeded, technically. It was a very small fire. But, you know, it’s a huge deal. Anyway, you can watch. Or read about it. I don’t even know where you are. Where are you? So—”
The voice mail cut him off. He called again.
Hi, you’ve reached Julia…
“I got cut off. I don’t know how much got through, but I was saying that the Middle East just blew up, and Tamir is totally hysterical, and he wants me to take him to the embassy tonight, like now, at two in the morning, to try to somehow get him on a plane. And the thing is, he says I need to go with him. And at first I just thought he meant—”
The voice mail cut him off. He called again.
Hi, you’ve reached Julia…
“And…it’s me. Jacob. Obviously. Anyway, I was just saying that Tamir is freaking out, and I’m taking him to the embassy—I’ll wake up Sam and let him know that we’re going out, and that he has to—”
The voice mail cut him off. The allowed increments seemed to be shrinking. He called again.
“Jacob?”
“Julia?”
“What time is it?”
“I thought your phone was off.”
“Why are you calling?”
“Well, I basically said it in the messages, but—”
“What time is it?”
“It’s like two or so.”
“Why, Jacob.”
“Where are you?”
“Jacob, why are you calling me at two in the morning?”
“Because it’s important.”
“Are the kids OK?”
“Yes, everyone’s fine. But Israel—”
“Nothing happened—?”
“No. Not to the kids. They’re sleeping. It’s Israel.”
“Tell me in the morning, OK?”
“Julia, I wouldn’t call if it weren’t—”
“If the boys are OK, whatever it is can wait.”
“It can’t.”
“Believe me, it can. Good night, Jacob.”
“Some extremists tried to set fire to the Dome of the Rock.”
“Tomorrow.”
“There’s going to be a war.”
“Tomorrow.”
“A war against us.”
“We have a ton of batteries in the fridge.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. I’m half asleep.”
“I think I’m going to go.”
“Thank you.”
“To Israel. With Tamir.”
He heard her shift, and muffled static.
“You’re not going to Israel.”
“I’m really thinking about it.”
“You’d never let such a dumb sentence slip into one of your scripts.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means let’s talk in the morning.”
“I’m going to Israel,” he said, and this time, removing the I think, expressed something entirely different—a certainty that when spoken aloud revealed to Jacob his lack of certainty. The first time he’d wanted to hear her say, “Don’t go.” But instead she didn’t believe him.
“And why would you do that?”
“To help.”
“What, write for the army paper?”
“Whatever they ask me to do. Fill sandbags, make sandwiches, fight.”
She laughed herself into a fuller wakefulness: “Fight?”
“If that’s what’s necessary.”
“And how would that work?”
“They need men.”
She chuckled. Jacob thought he heard her chuckle.
“I’m not seeking your respect or approval,” he said. “I’m telling you because we’re going to need to figure out what the next couple of weeks will look like. I assume you’ll come home and—”
“I respect and approve of your desire to be a hero, especially right now—”
“What you’re doing sucks.”
“No,” she said, her voice now aggressively clear, “what you’re doing sucks. Waking me up in the middle of the night with this idiotic Kabuki enactment of…I don’t even know what. Resolution? Bravery? Selflessness? You assume I’ll come home? That’s nice. And then what? I’ll single-handedly take care of the kids for however long your paintball adventure lasts? That shouldn’t be any problem: preparing three meals a day for them—make that nine meals, as no two will ever eat the same thing—and chauffeuring to cello lessons, and speech therapy, and soccer, and soccer, and Hebrew school, and various health professionals? Yeah. I want to be a hero, too. I think being a hero would be awesome. But first, before we get measured for capes, let’s see if we can maintain what we already have.”