Her One Mistake(42)
“No,” Harriet said. Angela paused expectantly, the mop poised in the air. “Well, maybe we did. I don’t remember exactly,” she said, absently running a finger over the phone. Of course she remembered every detail.
“I liked Jane and Christie a lot. I never had many friends at school. I wasn’t one of the popular girls and I guess it didn’t help that my mum kept me so—” She waved a hand in the air. “What’s the word I’m looking for?”
“You mean the way she was so protective over you?” Angela asked.
“Yes. She didn’t let me out of her sight, really. It’s hard to make friends when your mum is always hovering nearby.”
Angela dipped her head away before Harriet caught her expression. Did Angela think she was becoming her own mother? It was painfully clear there were more similarities than Harriet would have liked.
“Jane was like me,” she went on. “Studious and sensible. Others probably thought we were boring.” She smiled at the memory. “Christie was wilder, though. Not into clubbing or anything like that, but she was more adventurous. She had this crazy, curly, red hair. It was her who got me into—” Harriet stopped abruptly and fiddled with her top. How easily she’d nearly revealed the truth. It went to show how little she talked about her old friends. “Christie loved traveling. When we left uni she went backpacking; she wanted me to go with her.”
“But you didn’t?”
Harriet shook her head. “I’ve never even been abroad.” She smiled sadly. “Can you believe it? I’ve never had a passport.”
Angela dipped the mop into the bucket, splashing water over its edge. She looked up at Harriet. “Really?”
She could see Angela was shocked, but surely it wasn’t that unusual.
“You really don’t need to do that.” Harriet pointed at the floor. “It’s not that dirty.”
“I just want to be helpful.” Angela smiled. “So, do you miss your friends?”
“I didn’t think so, but hearing from Jane now . . .” Harriet trailed off.
“Then text her back and tell her how nice it is to hear from her and say you’d like to talk. It’s not too late to get back in touch, Harriet. Good friends will be there, no matter how much time has passed.”
“Only I don’t think I was all that kind to her,” Harriet said softly.
“What happened?” Angela asked, genuinely surprised.
“It was a couple of months after I’d started seeing Brian. Jane used to invite me to stay at her flat, but the invitation never openly extended to him. I didn’t mind because it was nice seeing her on my own, but Brian didn’t like it. He said if she was such a good friend, she wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from him.” Harriet remembered how upset he was. She’d told him over and over that she was sure he’d be welcome too, but Brian had blankly refused to listen.
“The thing is, I don’t think Jane would have wanted him, but she was too nice to say it. Only Brian wouldn’t let it drop. He’d say, ‘She doesn’t like the fact you have a boyfriend, Harriet. Girls like her can’t stand it when their friends are happier than them.’
“Schadenfreude, my love,” he would say to her. “It’s completely obvious Jane is jealous of you and will only be happy if you are miserable.”
But that wasn’t Jane. Jane had raced out of her exam when she found out Harriet’s mum had died, scooping her up from the floor of the hospital corridor where she’d still been curled up in a ball half an hour later. She’d stood by her side at her mum’s funeral, and when Harriet went onstage to accept a Promising Student award, it was Jane who’d sat in the allocated family seats, loudly whooping for her best friend.
“I took Brian’s side and asked Jane if she was jealous of me. She said I was crazy, and I’d tried telling Brian he’d gotten it wrong, but he said, ‘Of course she’s saying that, she’s completely manipulating you.’?” Harriet took a breath. “I believed him,” she said with a thin smile. “No, actually I never believed him; I just chose him.”
“Oh, Harriet,” Angela sighed. “I’m sure Jane will forgive whatever happened in the past. She obviously cares enough about you to get in touch, and besides,” she said, resting the mop against the sink and reaching out to take Harriet’s hand, “I think you could do with a friend right now.”
Harriet shook her head. “I don’t deserve her.” She withdrew from Angela and began fiddling with cups in the sink.
“Do you keep in touch with anyone else from your past, from the school you worked at in Kent?” Angela asked.
Harriet shook her head, thinking of Tina. The reason they had moved to Dorset. “No. Everyone else disappeared from my life too,” she said flatly.
Angela opened her mouth as if she were about to speak, but before she had the chance, her cell rang. “It’s Hayes,” she said, gesturing toward the hallway. “I’ll take it in there.” She answered the phone as she left the kitchen. “What the hell do you mean?” Angela murmured, disappearing into the living room and closing the door behind her.
Harriet stepped forward. Angela’s voice was muffled, but Harriet could just make out what she was saying.