Her One Mistake(29)

Harriet looked down at her shirt, one of its buttons straining slightly where it was too tight. She could feel herself sweating where the underwire of her bra cut into her, and feared she might see a damp streak across her chest. Brian had told her she looked beautiful as they all left the house that morning, but she knew she didn’t. They’d see he was well turned out, but she had no idea what they’d make of her appearance.

How did Brian still look the same as when they’d first met? She’d overheard Charlotte talking about him to Audrey once. She’d said she found Brian handsome in a way that she’d easily get bored of, but Harriet just thought he was conventionally attractive.

In the bookshop in Edenbridge, Harriet hadn’t expected to meet the man she would marry eleven months later. Least of all the one browsing the fishing section. But when Brian had asked her if she came there often, Harriet had laughed at his awkward line and was immediately drawn in by his large brown eyes and cheeky grin.

After their first date he walked her home, taking hold of her hand and smoothly maneuvering around her until he was on the side of the curb. He made her feel safe, and she realized she’d been yearning for a man who would take care of her. Brian had rapidly filled the hole in her life her father had left.

“You are so beautiful, Harriet,” he’d told her under the streetlight outside her flat. “I could shout from the rooftops about how lucky I feel.” He’d pretended to leap onto a concrete boulder but she’d tugged him back, laughing, before he made a fool of himself. She had never met anyone before who was so effusive about her.

? ? ?

CAPTAIN HAYES INTRODUCED himself as the crowd settled. Brian’s leg juddered up and down beside Harriet, knocking against her thigh, forcing his plastic seat to bump into hers. She had never seen him so nervous.

One of his clammy hands reached for hers under the desk and she could feel the wetness seeping into her palm. He took her hand and laid it on top of the table, clamped inside his. She wanted to pry it away and put it back into the comfort of her lap, out of sight, but she couldn’t do that with everyone’s eyes on them. Did you see the mum pull away from him? they’d say.

Instead she let his hand clutch hers tightly, burning into her skin until Brian eventually pulled away himself and placed his hands palms down on the table. She half expected to see a pool of sweat seep out from under them. Captain Hayes had introduced him now. It was time for him to speak, just as they’d agreed he would.

“I’ll do this, Harriet,” he’d said firmly as he speared a piece of bacon that Angela had cooked for them. She had pushed hers away, the smell of it making her feel sick. “I’ll speak for the both of us so you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Actually, it would be good to hear from Harriet, too,” Kerri had said.

“No, I’ll do the talking,” Brian continued. “It’s what we’ve agreed.”

“Harriet?” Angela had asked with a sideways glance at Kerri, who Harriet could see shaking her head out of the corner of her eye.

“I don’t know,” Harriet said honestly. “I don’t know if I can—”

“I don’t think you can either,” Brian interrupted.

Harriet had looked up at Angela, who raised her eyebrows at Kerri. Did none of them think she was capable? That Brian should be the one to appeal to the public? “I still think she needs to say something,” Kerri had muttered.

Brian’s voice boomed into the room, making Harriet jump. “Yesterday afternoon our beautiful daughter, Alice, disappeared.” He cleared his throat, straightening his tie with one hand. “I’m sorry,” he said, much quieter. “This is very hard for me.” He glanced over at Hayes, who nodded at him to continue.

“One minute she was having fun at a school fair and the next, she vanished.” His voice was much calmer now as he continued, and Harriet felt herself relax ever so slightly, until he stumbled. “Harriet, my wife, she’s, er, well, we—” Brian hesitated, looked down at the table and then back at the sea of faces. “We are begging anyone who knows anything about what happened to Alice to come forward and tell the police. Anything. Please. Because we miss her so much.” His voice broke and he bowed his head again, shaking it from side to side. “We want her back. We just want our little girl back.”

Harriet stared at him, willing him to keep talking. That couldn’t be it. She had a lump the size of a football lodged in her throat, but she knew she needed to say something, because as soon as Brian had left the kitchen earlier, Kerri had implored her to. “You need to speak,” she had said. “It’s so important they hear you, too. As soon as Brian finishes you need to talk about Alice. Regardless of what he thinks is best,” she’d added pointedly.

At the far end of the table Kerri was nodding at her. Harriet looked back at Brian, then at the crowd of strangers in front of her that were becoming uncomfortable in the silence, no doubt wondering if they could ask their questions yet.

“I want Alice back,” Harriet blurted, echoing her husband’s words as a bolt of heat flashed through her body. She could feel tears running down her face in hot, damp streaks. She didn’t know where they’d come from, but they were flowing furiously, her body heaving and jolting as she sobbed.

Brian looked at her in alarm and for a moment both of them froze until he eventually reached an arm around her shoulders and leaned across her, telling Captain Hayes they couldn’t say any more.