Her One Mistake(2)

“Hi, Harriet, how are you doing?” I crouched down in front of Alice and smiled at the little girl who continued to bury her head in her mum’s skirt. “Are you looking forward to the school fair today, Alice?”

I didn’t expect an answer, but I plowed on regardless. Besides, once Molly took Alice under her wing, she would happily follow my daughter around like a puppy. In turn, my six-year-old would have an air of smug superiority that a younger child was finally looking up to her.

“Thank you again for today,” Harriet said as I straightened.

I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “You know it’s a pleasure. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve begged you to let me watch Alice.” I grinned.

Harriet’s right hand played with the seam of her skirt—balling it up, then pressing it down flat—and for a moment I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I’d expected her to be nervous; I’d even thought she would cancel.

“But with four of them, are you sure—” she started.

“Harriet,” I cut her off. “I’m more than happy to take Alice to the fair. Please don’t worry about it.”

Harriet nodded. “I’ve already put sunscreen on her.”

“Oh. That’s good.” That meant I now had to find sunscreen for my own. Did I have any?

“Well, it’s so hot and I don’t want her burning . . .” Her voice trailed away, and she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

“You are looking forward to your class today, aren’t you?” I asked. “You don’t look like you are, but you should be. It’s exactly what you need.”

Harriet shrugged and looked at me blankly. “It’s bookkeeping,” she said flatly.

“I know, but it’s what you want to do. It’s great that you’re planning your future.”

I meant it, even though I’d originally turned my nose up when she’d said it was bookkeeping. I’d tried to convince Harriet to do a gardening class instead because she would make a lovely gardener. I could picture her running around town with her own little van and told her I’d even design a website for her. Harriet had looked as if she was mulling the idea over, but eventually said gardening didn’t pay as much.

“You could do my garden for me,” I’d said. “I need someone to come and give me some new ideas. I would—” I stopped abruptly because I’d been about to say I’d pay her more than the going rate, but I knew my good intentions weren’t always taken in the right way when it came to money.

“How about teaching?” I’d said instead. “You know how wonderful you’d be. Just look at the way you were with Jack when I first met you.”

“I’d have to train to be a teacher and that won’t get me a job this September,” she’d replied, and averted her gaze. I knew her well enough to know when to stop.

“Then bookkeeping it is,” I’d said, smiling, “and you’ll be great at that, too.” Even if it wasn’t what I’d do, at least Harriet was thinking past September when Alice started school and she could concentrate on something for herself. I had another two long years until Evie started and I could get back some semblance of a career instead of the two days a week I worked now for the twenty-something who’d once reported to me.

“Oh, I haven’t packed a lunch or anything,” Harriet said suddenly.

“I’m not bothering with lunches.” I brushed a hand through the air. “We can get something there. The PTA invests more in food stalls than anything else,” I joked.

“Right.” Harriet nodded but didn’t smile, after a moment adding, “Let me get you some money.”

“No,” I said firmly, but hopefully not too sharply. “No need.”

“It’s not a problem.”

“I know it isn’t.” I smiled. “But please, let me do this, Harriet. The girls are excited Alice is joining us and we’re going to have a great day. Please don’t worry about her,” I said again, holding my hand out toward her, but she didn’t take it.

Harriet bent down and pulled her daughter in for a hug, and I watched the little girl melt into her mother’s chest. I took a step back, feeling like I should give them some space. There was such a tight bond between Harriet and her daughter that felt so much more raw than anything I had with my children, but I also knew what a big deal today was for her. Because despite Alice being four, Harriet had never left her daughter with anyone before today.

I’d been thrilled when I’d first left Evie overnight with my friend Audrey, when she’d been barely two months old. I’d had to coax Tom into coming to the pub with me, and even though we were home by nine thirty and I had crashed on the sofa half an hour later, it was worth it for a night of undisturbed sleep.

“I love you,” Harriet whispered into Alice’s hair. “I love you so much. Be a good girl, won’t you? And stay safe.” She lingered in the hug, her arms pressing tighter around her daughter. When she pulled back, she took Alice’s face in her hands and gently pressed her lips to her daughter’s forehead.

I waited awkwardly for Harriet to eventually pull herself up. “Do you want to go play with Molly in her bedroom before we go to the fair?” I asked Alice, then turned to Harriet. “Do you still want me to drop her back at your house at five?”