Heartless(14)
“Do you know if His Majesty had a chance to try the tarts?”
“Oh yes. I saw him sneaking a slice—and then a second, and then a third—while you and Mary Ann were chatting about the pumpkin eater.” The rest of his body materialized as he talked. “Shame on you, to gossip so.”
She lifted an eyebrow. Cheshire was an expert gossip. It was part of the reason why she enjoyed talking to him, though it also made her nervous. Catherine did not want his gossip-milling to ever turn on her. “Does that make you the pot or the kettle?”
“Still a cat, my dear, and not even an unlucky one.”
“Actually…” Catherine cocked her head. “You may not be a black cat, and yet your pedigree is something changed. You’re looking rather orange of a sudden.”
Cheshire curled his tail, newly oranged, in front of his crossed eyes. “So I am. Is orange my color?”
“It looks fine, but doesn’t match the night’s color scheme. What a pair we must make.”
“I imagine it was the pumpkin pasties. A shame they weren’t fish.”
“You want to turn fish-colored?”
“Rainbow trout, maybe. You should consider adding fish to your baking next time too. I’d love a tuna tart.”
“Tuna tartare?”
“Why, you’ll make a stuffed bird laugh if you go on like that.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“By-the-bye, have you heard the rumors?”
“Rumors…” She searched her memory. “You mean, about Mr. Caterpillar moving to a smaller storefront?”
Cheshire’s head spun upside down. “How slow you are tonight. I was speaking of the rumors surrounding the new court joker.”
She perked up. “No. I haven’t heard anything about him.”
“Neither have I.”
She furrowed her brow. “Cheshire, that is the opposite of a rumor.”
“Contrariwise. I haven’t the faintest idea who he is or where he came from. It’s all very odd.” Cheshire licked his paw and cleaned behind his ear, which struck Catherine as impolite, being so close to the table. “They say he walked right up to the palace gates three days past, already dressed in fool’s motley, and asked for an audience with the King. He performed a magic trick or two—something about shuffling the Diamond courtiers and asking His Majesty to pick one card out of the set … I couldn’t follow the details. In the end, he was given the job.”
Catherine pictured the Joker lounging on that suspended silver hoop, almost as if he expected the King’s guests to entertain him, not the other way around. He had been so poised. Though she hadn’t questioned it before, Cheshire’s curiosity piqued hers. Hearts was a small kingdom. Where had he come from?
“Have you heard the other rumors?” continued Cheshire.
“I’m not sure. What other rumors?”
Cheshire rolled onto his stomach and cupped his face in his furry paws. “His Congenial Kingness has chosen a bride.”
Her eyes widened. “No! Who is it?” She glanced around the room. Certainly not Margaret. Perhaps Lady Adela from Lingerfoote or Lady Willow from Lister Hill or— Or …
Her breath hiccupped.
A wash of goose bumps spread down her limbs.
Her mother’s enthusiasm.
The first quadrille.
The King’s flustered grin.
She whipped her head back toward Cheshire. His enormous grin struck her as extra mocking.
“You can’t mean it.”
“Can’t I?” He peered up at the chandeliers. “I thought for sure I was capable of that, at the least.”
“Cheshire, this isn’t amusing. The King can’t—he wouldn’t—”
A trumpet blared, echoing off the pink quartz walls.
Catherine’s head spun. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
“Cheshire! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” cried the White Rabbit, his pitchy voice insignificant after the horn. “His Royal Majesty has prepared a special announcement for this evening.”
“Shall I congratulate you now?” Cheshire asked. “Or do you suppose premature well-wishes could bring bad luck? I can never recall the proper etiquette in these situations.”
A curtain of heat embraced her, from brow to toes. She could have sworn someone was pulling on the staylace of her corset as her breaths grew shorter.
“I can’t. Oh, Cheshire, I can’t.”
“You may want to practice a different response before you go up there.”
The crowd applauded. The King stepped onto the stage at the far end of the ballroom. Catherine cast her eyes around, searching for her parents, and when she found her mother beaming and brushing a tear from her lashes, the reality settled around her.
The King of Hearts was about to propose to her.
But—but he couldn’t. He’d never done anything more than compliment her baking and ask her to dance. They hadn’t courted … but, did kings have to court? She didn’t know. She knew only that her stomach had tied itself into triple knots and the idea of marrying him was preposterous. She had never once considered that the silly man could want anything from her but sweets and pastries. Certainly not a bride, and … oh heavens, children.