Heartless(109)

“It’s all right, Cath. It’s going to be all right.”

He came to a stop and sank down to his knees, cradling her in his lap.

Untangling her arms, Catherine looked up. At her Joker. Her Rook. Cath pressed her hands against his face and saw it instantly. The openness in his eyes, the tenderness.

“I choose you,” she repeated. The words tasted like sugar.

His jaw twitched and with his free hand he grasped her fingers, keeping them pressed against his face. “Cath, you have to be sure.” His voice was thick, practically choking. “Raven gave me the idea. I wouldn’t have thought of it otherwise, and I … I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say. It isn’t too late. They already believe I have you under some spell, it would be easy to persuade them—”

“Wait.” Cath’s hands slid down his cheeks, reaching for the collar of his tunic instead. “You said we could be together. We can save Chess and I’ll have my bakery and—”

He nodded. “It’s true. I think it will work.”

“You think?”

Tilting forward, Jest buried his face into her neck. He was shaking as hard as she was. “It won’t be easy. And you can still change your mind. The King will still want you, I know he will, and I’ll leave you be, you and your heart, I promise. I couldn’t do it anyway, Cath. I couldn’t take it from you.”

His words dug into her chest. She stared past him, seeing the white rose tree where she’d seen him that first night. He’d brought her to the gardens.

They would be followed. Probably the guards were already searching for them. She doubted it would take long for them to be found.

Stomach twisting, she shoved Jest away and scrambled out of his hold. She tried to stand but her legs were too weak and she collapsed back down to the grass. “You gave me a choice and I made it. How could you even suggest I change it now?”

Jest tried to string his hands through his hair but found his joker hat in the way. Ripping it off, he threw it on the ground. The bells clinked once, dejectedly, before falling silent. “Because you have to be sure. Because it will kill me if you come to regret this, to know that you gave up everything the King was offering and it was my fault.”

The cold air stung her throat, but she couldn’t stop gasping for breath. Clenching her jaw, she shoved him as hard as she could. Jest fell onto his side in the grass.

“You idiot. I don’t want him or what he’s offered me, and I never have. I don’t want to be the stupid Queen!”

“I know. I know that, Cath. That’s why you might regret this.”

She gaped at him and started to shake her head. “It won’t take them long to find us here. Just tell me. What was this idea Raven had?”

Jest glanced up and Cath startled upon spying Raven among the roses.

“There is a law in Chess,” Jest said, drawing her attention back to him, “that a pawn who can make it through the enemy’s territory, all the way to the border, can become a queen.”

She frowned.

“Come back with me.” Jest pushed himself back to his knees and wrapped Cath’s hands in his. “We can get you to the border—Hatta, Raven, and I—and you can be a queen, and you can lead us to victory, Cath, I know it.”

“But…” Her throat dried and it was a struggle to wet it again. “But you said … I could have my bakery, and…”

Jest chuckled, a warm sound that surprised her. His grip tightened. “That’s just it. Once the war is over, the White Queen can take over again—we won’t need two queens, after all—and you can be anything you want. And you and I—”

He was interrupted by the sound of marching in the direction of the castle. Cath tensed and looked back, spotting two rows of Club guards making their way down the steps. The Ace of Clubs stood at their helm, shouting orders to spread out and search the grounds.

Jest was staring at her when she faced him again. “I know you never wanted to be a queen,” he said, apology lacing his voice.

A humorless laugh burbled out of her mouth. “It seems I was going to be a queen either way.” She wriggled one hand out of his hold and traced the painted heart on his cheek with the pad of her thumb. “I love you, Jest. I want to be with you, any way I can.”

His breath formed crystals on the air. Boots echoed, hitting the gravel paths. Overhead, Raven let out a warning caw.

Jest grabbed her suddenly, crushing his mouth against hers. Cath threw her arms around his neck, delighting in the way her heart expanded as if it could consume them both.

“I love you too,” he whispered in the spaces between another kiss, and another. “I love you too.”

It was impossible, and she absolutely believed it.

He was kissing her again when Raven coughed, loudly. “They are coming. We mustn’t tarry any longer.”

Cath and Jest looked up into the tree boughs.

“That didn’t rhyme,” said Cath.

“Who has the time?” Raven snapped.

“He’s right, of course,” said Jest, beaming. “Yet this interlude has been sublime.” He grabbed his hat and pulled Cath to her feet.

With a nod from Jest, Raven swooped down to join them, just as Cath heard the first guards clomping through the rose gardens. No sooner had Raven landed on Jest’s shoulder than the earth quaked and a tower of stone burst up from the ground, swallowing them back down.