Head On (Strength And Love)(37)

I take another sip of my drink as I wait for her to speak. She takes her time, mulling over my words. “I’m not disgusted. I understand it, why they do it, why you did it. I mean, I offered to pay you myself, didn’t I?” She flushes and I smile, because yes, she did. “But I do get jealous. I can’t seem to accept how different it is for you. Must be a man and woman thing.”

I shrug. “Just a different types of people thing, Isla. I know plenty of women who screw around casually. And my friend, Liam, the one who is offering me the job, he’s like a monk. Only has sex if it means something and as far as I’m aware, he’s not had someone mean anything in a very long time. Everyone’s different. And as far as I’m concerned, so long as all parties are consenting adults, then it’s no one else’s business.”

“Okay, but…” she trails off.

“Spit it out. Better we get this aired out, here and now.”

“Those women were married. Yeah, they may have been consenting adults, but they were cheating on someone.” She holds my gaze.

“Yeah, and we already discussed that.”

“But how do you know what they told you is true? I’m sure some of them have unhappy marriages and all the rest. But maybe some simply fancied a bit on the side.”

“It’s none of my business why they hired me, or if they’re lying. I’m not the morality police. And the only morality that matters is here.” I gesture into the space between us. “Between you and me. I’ll never cheat on you. I saw what my dad’s affairs did to my mum, and I won’t ever do that to someone else. If I want out, I’ll say. I’m not the shy and retiring type. This becomes something I don’t want, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Okay.” She nods. And shuts up for a moment as the waiter comes to take our orders and drop off olives and bread. I can tell she still has some doubts though.

“There’s more. What is it?”

“You’re getting angry.”

I smile at her. “Isla, this is not me angry.”

“But you’re being…”

“I’m being to the point. Not angry. When you offered to pay me for sex, that was me angry. Not now.”

She pops an olive into her mouth and moans at the taste, and just like that I’m hard. Fuck me, she totally slays me.

“One last question.” She swallows the olive, takes a sip of her drink, and then dabs her mouth with the napkin as if she’s eaten a barbecued rib. “If we start…dating. And you change your job. Would we be exclusive? And from when?”

I stare at her a moment. “Fuck yes, we’d be exclusive. And from now. Is there someone you’re wanting to date?”

“No.” She smiles, and she looks genuinely happy. “I’m glad you want us to be exclusive.”

“You can ask, you know.”

She frowns at me.

“There’s something you want from this. Ask. Don’t always wait for me to say if I want it or not. You can’t go through life like that, Isla. You’ve got to go for what you want, too.”

She shrugs. “I didn’t want to push you.”

“But then you’re not getting what you need. Honesty. This is new for me, too, so we’ve got to be honest.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been in a relationship before, so it’s not that new.”

I want to tell her it’s all fucking new. That I’ve never felt this way before, but I don’t want to rush into this. We’ve known one another days. It’s crazy. I take another sip of my drink, and then I smile. “What’s your favourite film?”

She surprises me. “Alien.”

“Not what I expected.”

“Oh?” Her eyes sparkle. “You expected me to like something girly, did you?”

“Yeah. Some Disney film or romcom.”

“Nope. Can’t stand those films for the most part. I grew up with only my dad from the age of ten. I grew up watching cop shows and action films. I love me some Arnie.”

Every time this girl reveals something to me, she simply gets better and better.





Chapter Eighteen



Isla



I’m pottering about at Ethan’s, waiting for him to come back from his meeting with Liam and the team. He wanted me to go with him, but I insisted I stay here. No one knows I’m here. Not even dad. I told my father I was staying with Ann, and I hate lying to him but I didn’t want to worry him while he’s away.

Ethan made me lock the door, and showed me where his guns are. Guns, as in plural. I may be a na?ve young girl, but even I know those sorts of guns aren’t legal in the UK, and I’m a bit worried now.

As to my safety, he’s being far too paranoid, but I like that he cares. I’ve been looking through jobs online, and there’s a position at the library in town, which is my idea of heaven, so I filled in the online application, and now I’m wandering his office, having shut the computer off. Looking for something to read. Ethan has terrible taste in books. They’re all hard-nosed thrillers, or military strategy, or biographies. And the biographies are all military people or politicians.

I need something to do because today my insecure brain is picking on me. Reminding me how gorgeous and sophisticated Selina and other clients of Ethan’s we met in the bar were. I keep veering between this giddy, stupid excitement, and flat out fear. He’s a man who has sex for money. Before that he was in the army…navy, whatever but in a branch where he did covert stuff. He owns what look like illegal firearms. He’s not someone who on paper is an easy guy to trust.