He Started It(38)



“Nothing,” I say.

“Actually, these guys are hassling Beth and Portia,” Felix says.

Oh no, Felix. No, no, no.

Eddie snorts. “That’s because they’re Neanderthals. I mean, they go to Clemson.”

“Excuse me?” Clemson says. “Where did you—”

“Duke. I went to Duke.”

Clemson laughs. “Well, it all makes sense now. I’ve heard you Duke boys are all inbred.”

The first punch is thrown by Eddie, which is no surprise. His ego—and his anger—always get the best of him, drunk or not. Insulting his alma mater is the easiest way to make Eddie mad enough to hit someone.

But against Clemson, he doesn’t throw the last punch.

The fight ends when a large man steps in and says “Chill out” in a voice that makes everyone stop. Clemson’s friends stop cheering him on, Krista stops screaming, and I stop glaring at Felix long enough to realize those police sirens in the background aren’t coming from a TV.



* * *



–––––

I can’t blame whoever called them. The watchtower is a place to look for UFOs, not get in a bar fight. And I can’t blame the police officers for being so pissed off, considering it’s Sunday and the Broncos game is on.

Eddie is arrested, along with the Clemson kid. He’s more surprised than any of us. The rest of us go to the tiny local police station and sit in the lobby, waiting to pay whatever the bond is. I turn to Clemson’s friends because I just can’t help myself.

“Hard to believe this is the first time your friend’s mouth has gotten him arrested,” I say.

Felix’s jaw drops. So do Clemson’s friends. One of them, another guy with a beard, calls me a bitch.

I snort. “Now I see why the other guy is your leader.”

“We don’t have a leader.”

“Oh, okay. Whatever you say.”

Portia laughs. Sometimes we are a family of assholes.

You can blame that on Grandpa, he started it.



* * *



–––––

The night ends exactly as it should: with Eddie in jail.

We go to bail him out, and we’re met by one of the pissed-off patrolmen who arrested Eddie and Clemson. He’s smiling.

“Come back in the morning,” he says. “No one’s getting out before a judge sets bail.”

One of the Clemson guys shakes his head and says, “We are so screwed.”

“Call a lawyer,” another says.

“You call one.”

When we all walk out of the station, they’re still arguing about whether or not to call.

Krista is quiet. Too quiet. So it’s not surprising when she bursts into tears on the way back to the motel. I’m in the front seat, the designated driver, and Felix is next to me. Krista is in the back with Portia, who makes a halfhearted attempt to comfort her sister-in-law.

“He’ll be out tomorrow,” Portia says. “It’s no big thing, really. He’ll just have to pay a fine.”

Krista cries harder. Portia looks at me and shrugs. Felix chooses this moment to keep his mouth shut.

“Eddie will be fine,” I say.

“I know,” she says, gasping for air. “I know he’ll be fine. He’s always fine.”

I say nothing, sensing it isn’t the time to mention this isn’t the worst thing Eddie has ever done.

When I drive up to the motel, Krista takes a deep breath and pulls herself together. “I just can’t believe I married such an asshole.”

Ah.

Well, shit.

“Yeah,” Portia says. “Eddie is that.”

Krista laughs a little. “Yeah.”

Before we get out of the car, I look at Portia in the rearview mirror. She nods.

“Hey, I’ll stay in your room tonight,” she says to Krista.

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

Felix steps in. “I think that’s a good idea. With that truck and all and what’s happened to the car, it’s better that none of us are alone. Just in case.”

Can’t disagree with that.

Portia comes to our room to get her bag. We’re both pissed off at Eddie. I can see it in her eyes and feel it in my heart, but ever since Krista started crying we’ve kept our mouths shut. I wish her luck. She rolls her eyes.

Felix is already in the bathroom, and I remember the lighter hidden in there. Bet he’s about to find it.





What’s the one thing you would do differently if you could?

I probably wouldn’t have come to this UFO place, because there’s nothing here to see. It’s all a big letdown and that sucks. Not that I believe in UFOs, I just thought we’d see something that could be a UFO and that would’ve been exciting enough. Didn’t happen.

But I don’t regret taking over this trip, and I sure as hell don’t regret drugging up Grandpa. He deserves it. All of it, and more.





Felix stays in that bathroom for a while. I figured he would, so I settle in by the window and check Instagram. He hasn’t posted anything today, which makes me a little nervous. I wish I could check on him, but I’m not in Florida.

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