Hate the Player: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romantic Comedy(59)

“You got it,” I say and preheat the oven.

Ten minutes later, the frozen pizza is baking in the oven, and I’ve managed to convince Birdie that swimming in my pool tonight is a bad idea and redirected her to the couch, where a bag of Doritos keeps her occupied.

I’ll be honest, when this night began, I didn’t imagine it would end like this—with me babysitting Birdie. Truthfully, this is a situation I never would’ve predicted in my craziest dreams.

Damn. What a fucking night.

“Is the pizza almost done?” she asks, hopping up from the couch and just tossing the bag of Doritos down onto the coffee table. Half the chips fall out of the bag, but she’s too busy worrying about pizza to pay the mess any attention.

“About fifteen more minutes.”

“What?” she whines and throws both of her arms up into the air. “I can’t wait that long!”

All I can do is shrug. “I can’t make the pizza cook any faster, sweetheart.”

“You suck at making pizza.”

A soft chuckle escapes my lips.

But she doesn’t wait around for me to respond. Nope. Instead, she strides out of my living room and into the hallway, destination unknown.

My first instinct is to give her some privacy, but then I quickly remember that she’s not in the right state of mind to just be wandering around my house. Hell, I feel like I’m a parent trying to keep his toddler away from electrical sockets and matches.

I get off the couch and head toward the hallway to see what she’s up to, but I’m stopped dead in my tracks when I find Birdie standing in the middle of my hallway, taking off her clothes.

And I mean all of her fucking clothes.

Her dress.

Her bra.

Her panties.

All of it is gone in an instant, and a gorgeous, naked goddess stands with her back to me. Her perfect supple ass and beautiful back taunt me.

Ah fuck. This is no bueno.

“Uh…what are you doing, sweetheart?”

“It’s too hot in your house!” She kicks her dress toward the other end of the hall and turns to face me. “I think your A/C is broken or something.”

Holy shit.

Gorgeous tanned skin. Long, toned legs. Full, supple breasts. Perfectly pink nipples.

A bare pussy.

Fucking hell, I love naked women, and the sight of this naked woman is like all my wildest fantasies merged together and came to life, but this feels all sorts of wrong.

She literally has no idea what she’s doing right now.

I shut my eyes and force out a breath.

Do not look at her. Just get her some damn clothes, and do not look at her.

“Birdie,” I say, my eyes open again but fixed toward the floor. “How about I get you some clothes to wear?”

“No thanks, Andy,” she says and strides toward me until she is standing directly in front of me. “Where is your bedroom?”

“My…what?” I ask, and my eyes move back to her body of their own fucking accord.

Yep. Still naked. So gloriously naked that I have the urge to put my fist into my mouth and clench my teeth into my skin. God help me. She is so damn beautiful, so sexy, it literally hurts to look at her.

“Your bedroom, Andy.”

Nope. No way. She cannot go into your bedroom like that. That’s just asking for trouble. Abort the mission, you bastard! Find a way to distract her and get her some fucking clothes!

“Uh…” I pause, completely unsure of what to say.

But my silence only gives her permission to turn on her heel and walk down the hallway, peering into every room, until she reaches the end, where my bedroom is, in fact, located.

Then she disappears…still naked and now in my bedroom.

Well, fuck.

I stand there, rooted to my spot, trying to get a grasp on this situation.

Seriously. What in the hell is happening? Is this some sort of sick joke?

Is God getting back at me for all the times I was a certified prick?

I look up toward the ceiling and sigh, offering up some words to the Big Man upstairs. I know I’m not the picture of a saint, but I promise I’ll be better if you just convince Birdie to put on some clothes. I promise I’ll start donating to more charities and—

“Andy! Andy! Andyyyyyy!” Birdie’s voice interrupts my prayer. “Where are you, Andy?”

Hesitantly, I walk into my bedroom to find Birdie already in my bed, her naked body cozy beneath my sheets and comforter.

“Come on in!” she exclaims and pats the spot beside her. “Your bed feels so good!”

Yeah, no. That might be my bed, and that might be a gorgeous-as-fuck Birdie in my bed, but I’m not getting in that bed. Not right now. Not tonight.

“I…uh…I think I should go check on the pizza. Doesn’t pizza sound good, sweetheart?”

“You know what this bed makes me think of, Andy?” she asks, completely ignoring my pizza distraction.

Don’t take the bait. Don’t take the bait.

“What does it make you think of, sweetheart?”

Idiot.

“Sex.” That one word rolls off her tongue in such a sexy way that even my cock threatens to take notice.

Don’t even think about it, you horny bastard. Not tonight.

“I haven’t had sex in over a year,” she says, and a little pout forms at her lips. “Isn’t that sad, Andy?”