Hardcore Twenty-Four (Stephanie Plum #24)(46)

“Where have you been?”

“Working. Looking for a guy.”

“All day and night?”

“Whatever it takes,” Diesel said, offering the pretzels to me.

I took a handful and got myself a beer. “Were you looking for him in the Morley Street cemetery?”

“Yeah. No luck.”

“Don’t suppose you want to tell me about it?”

“Not much to tell,” Diesel said. “He’s sort of a new age zombie.”

“For real?”

Diesel shrugged. “As real as a zombie could get.”

“The police have a video of you in the cemetery. It was taken by one of my FTAs. Zero Slick.”

“Little guy? Brown ponytail?”

“Yes. He’s disappeared.”

“How’d they get the video if he disappeared?”

“He left his GoPro behind. Don’t suppose you know where I can find him?”

“No. Maybe he’s hanging with the zombies.”

“Do you believe in zombies?”

“Honey pie, I believe in almost everything. Simplifies a lot of shit.”

“You were there when the zombies attacked Slick,” I said. “Why didn’t you stop them?”

“They didn’t attack him when I was there. I was tracking my target, and I passed a couple locals, but I didn’t see any zombies.”

“Their eyes were glowing in the video.”

“Almost all eyes glow in infrared. There was probably a time lapse between frames that you didn’t notice.”

I grabbed another handful of pretzels. It was possible. Maybe.

“I thought you were supposed to be this super tracker,” I said. “Why can’t you find your guy?”

“He has his own skill set.”

“Could you find Slick?”

“Slick isn’t my problem.”

“Yes, but he’s my problem. And I could use some help.”

Diesel grinned. “Maybe we could make a deal.”

Omigod, another deal! Isn’t it enough I have to sleep with Ranger? Okay, let’s get real. I want to sleep with both these men. I mean, who wouldn’t? Damnation. I was going straight to hell.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked.

“If I find him for you, I get to see you naked.”

“That’s it?”

“Should I have asked for more?”

“No!”

“I figure once you’re naked . . . who knows.”

I squinched my eyes closed and smacked myself in the forehead. “Unh!”

“Is that a yes?”

“No! It would feel icky to get naked and have you look at me.”

“Okay, so how about strip poker?”

“No way. I’ve seen you play poker.”

“You pick a game.”

“Old Maid.”

“Works for me. Let’s go.”

“Now?”

“Do you have something better to do?”

I followed him to the door. “Do you have a car? Do you know where to look?”

“Yes and no. Here’s the way it works. You tell me where you want to look. We go there and walk around, and if he’s there I’ll probably know.”

“I could do that.”

“Yeah, but I can do it better. Where do you want to look?”

“His parents’ house. The cemetery. The woods around Diggery’s double-wide.”

We stepped outside, I locked the door, and looked at the car parked behind Big Blue. It was a red Ferrari.

“That’s your car?” I asked.

“It was available. I take what they give me.”

“‘They’?”

“My handlers.”

I stared at him. “Who are you?”

“Diesel,” he said. “Just Diesel.”

“And that’s another thing. Don’t you have a last name?”

“It’s Diesel, so you see the problem.”

“You’re Diesel Diesel?”

“My parents had a sense of humor not shared by the rest of the family. On the bright side, I have a cousin named Gerewulf Grimoire, so I suppose I should be happy.”

He put his hand on the small of my back and moved me forward. I slid into the Ferrari and buckled up.

“Where would you like to go first?” he asked, settling behind the wheel.

Slick’s parents were a long shot, and Morelli was most likely still in the vicinity of Morley Street, so I went with Diggery’s woods.

Diesel drove down the single-lane road without looking side to side. He said it distracted from his radar. If anyone else said this I’d roll my eyes, but this was Diesel and what the heck, maybe he really had radar.

We parked in Diggery’s yard at the end of the road and got out of the car. We stood very still and listened.

“Well?” I asked Diesel.

“It’s quiet here. It’s like it’s not even Trenton. Wouldn’t be half bad if it had some palm trees and a beach.”

“There are a bunch of abandoned shelters tucked away in the woods. Cars, storage sheds, houses, tents. We could do a search of the area and see if any of these places are being used by . . . um, you-know-whats.”