Gun Shy(23)

“Leo,” Hannah whines.

“You know she’s not right, don’t you?” My eyes fucking boring into his. “You know she’s slow. You’ve basically been screwing around with a kid from the first grade. You got a child pregnant, you fucking pedophile.”

Something changes in Derek’s eyes. “You got something to say?” I challenge him, lifting up my boot so he can talk.

“She’s a young woman!” Derek protests, holding his throat. “Look at her. Your mama gave us her blessing, so fuck you, Leo Bentley.”

“Fuck me?” I repeat. “Fuck you.” I smash my fist into his face, adrenaline surging through me as my blow finds purchase. I want to kill him. I hit him again and again, only stopping because Hannah is screaming out enough to alert the entire town. If the sheriff turns up, he’ll no doubt take great pleasure in hauling my ass back to Lovelock.

“Get out,” I spit, pointing at the door as I stare Derek down.

“My clothes—”

“Get new ones,” I interject. “Get out before I rip your dick off.”

“I didn’t knock nobody up,” Derek says defiantly, his face a bloody pulp. “Don’t you come asking for no money for that bastard, Leo Bentley. That there ain’t my kid. She was already like that when I started up with her.”

I pick up one of my football trophies and lug it at his head. I’m an excellent aim, and I flinch a little when it hits him square in the temple. Blood explodes from his face. Fuck. That really could have killed him.

“Get out!” I yell.

He runs outside, naked except for his boots, cupping his cock and balls in his hands as he runs through the snow to his pickup. He gets in and starts the car up, tearing off as I stare at my little sister.

“You’re mean,” Hannah says, pouting a little.

“Hannah,” I say quietly, scrubbing my hand across my chin as I try to figure this out. “How far along are you? How many weeks?”

She looks dumbfounded.

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter. “Have you been to the doctor? Has anyone taken you to check on the baby?”

She shakes her head. “Mama says she will when her check comes in.”

I let out a noise that’s half-sigh, half-growl. I’ve been hearing that same excuse my whole life. “Where are your clothes, Hannah?”

“None of my clothes fit me,” she says, resting her hands on her belly. “I’m too fat. Pike gave me some of his stuff.”

I’m about to snap. Anger surges through me, and guilt. This happened because I wasn’t here.

“I told Pike to watch you,” I say to Hannah. She’s already distracted by something else, a game she’s playing with herself. It’s what she does when she feels threatened. Retreats inside her head and won’t look anyone in the eye.

“Hannah,” I implore her. “I’m sorry I yelled, honey. I thought he was hurting you.”

Her lower lip is trembling. Goddamn it. This is on me. This is all on me.

“Come on,” I say, putting a hand on her shoulder. I don’t want to touch her after she’s been with that guy, but she’s my sister. “Hannah, I’m sorry. Please talk to me.”

She looks up at me, her eyes filled with tears, and I’m relieved. At least she’s making eye contact. “You never came back,” she says. “You told me you’d be right back.”

“When?”

“When you went to the party,” she replies. “I’ve been waiting for you. You’ve been gone for so long, all the leaves fell off the trees and the snow came back. You’ve never been away that long, Leo.”

Oh my God, she’s talking about the night of the accident. Eight years ago.

“You’ve been waiting for me?” I ask, a hard lump forming in my throat. She nods.

“I was scared without you here,” she says. I can actually feel my heart breaking into pieces.

“Come here,” I say, drawing her into a hug. Her baby belly between us. My baby sister with a fucking baby of her own. “I’m here now. I’m not leaving again.”

I start to think up ways to kill our mother for letting this happen.

It’s this town. There’s something in the water, even after the dead girl blood’s been washed away. It’s some poison, some toxin that leeches into everyone.

This town will suck the life out of you.



I get Hannah dressed in some of my warmer clothes, give her my thick snow jacket and some sweat pants that have a drawstring she can tie up under her protruding stomach. I’ll have to go to the thrift store in Tonopah and buy her some new things so she doesn’t have to go around holding her pants up to stop them from falling down. I mean, she’s already pregnant, so she can’t get knocked up again, but still. I can’t even think about the rest. She’s going to have a baby. I’m not even sure what that means. Will the state let her keep it? I mean, she’s got a file as thick as my fist. We all do. I wonder if Mom’s avoided taking her to the doctor because she’s afraid they’ll take Hannah — and the baby — away.

Probably she’s just a lazy bitch, knowing my mom.

The heat isn’t working that well in my room, so I take Hannah back up to Mom’s trailer. I hold her hand as we walk through the snow, bitter wind biting at my cheeks. As I walk, I glimpse at Cassie’s house. I’ve been purposely avoiding looking that way, but Hannah has distracted me, and before I know it I’m stopped in my tracks, staring. If I had a pair of binoculars, I’d be able to see straight into Cassie’s kitchen. Into her bedroom. She used to write me messages and stick them in her window back in the day.