Grave Mistakes (Hellgate Guardians #1)(52)
I don’t hear him move, but suddenly he’s next to me, his blue hand over mine, stopping me from hacking at the grout. “Let go, Delta,” he rumbles quietly, and I find myself looking up at him as he gently pries the tool out of my hands. I hear him set it down, and then he picks me up like I weigh nothing, carrying me with one arm braced beneath my knees and the other behind my back. I don’t even struggle or ask him to put me down. I just melt against his chest, because I’m so damn weary, heart and soul.
His shiny black shoes crunch over the shattered, uneven flooring, and then he’s heading out of the kitchen and living room, down the hallway, and into my bedroom. I’m too emotionally overstrung to be embarrassed about the piles of dirty laundry in the corner of the room as he gently sets me on the bed.
I curl over on my side and tuck my knees against my chest as he sits down on the edge of my bed, handing me a box of tissues from my side table. I gratefully take it, wiping up the tears as my eyes stay trained on my legs.
“Look at me, Delta,” he says, and I can’t help but do as he says. “I know this is a lot to put on your plate. But if you choose to do this with us, then I can promise you one thing—you won’t be alone. Your life won’t be empty. I believe you were led to us because this is your calling. That scythe came to you,” he says, his hand gently resting on my unharmed knee. “It wouldn’t have chosen you without a reason.”
“But this is your fight. Not mine,” I argue, shaking my head. “I have nothing to do with demons. Before I met you guys, none of this even existed.”
He purses his lips thoughtfully. “You keep saying it’s not your fight, and I can understand how it could feel that way, but it is. It just may be hard to see how you can fit into all of this right now. It’s a lot to take on even if you’ve known about our world your whole life. But, Delta, if you’d allow it, I’d like the chance to show you what I mean. I think it could be good for you to see other perspectives. It might help you understand more.”
I watch him for a few moments, my mind like a seesaw as I consider his words. “I don’t know…” I say hesitantly.
“Please,” he replies, and that one word stops me, because even though I’ve heard it thousands of times, I have a feeling Iceman isn’t used to saying it, and he wouldn’t have unless this was really important.
I study him, taking in the pleading light in his eyes. I know he’s not trying to push me. He’s made it clear that whatever I decide, he’s going to respect it, even if he doesn’t agree. He’s just asking me to listen, to learn more, to try and understand.
“Okay,” I hear myself accede.
He smiles softly, showing just a hint of his bright white teeth. “Good. Now rest, Delta. You need to sleep. I’ll watch over you.”
Feeling like his words just added to the exhaustion already settling on me, I find myself turning over and sliding down until my body is fully reclined on the bed.
Iceman gets up and pulls the covers over me, but when he turns to walk away, my hand shoots out, and I grip his arm. “Could you stay? Please?” I ask, because even though it feels pathetic, I know that I won’t be able to sleep if he leaves.
He hesitates, but when I bite my bottom lip, he relents. “Alright,” he says quietly, and I instantly relax.
I watch him through a heavy-lidded gaze as he shrugs out of his suit jacket and dress shirt, hanging both over the top of my dresser, leaving him in a plain white cotton T-shirt. He toes his shoes off, setting them neatly against the wall, and then comes around the bed and lies down.
It takes all of two seconds before I turn to face him, and just his nearness makes me feel so much better. “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling the first ounce of relief I’ve had since I found out about the Gate. Iceman is gentle and kind, and I’ve never had someone just stay beside me like this before. Not since my parents died.
“You’re welcome, Maverick,” he says softly.
My eyes close, a yawn cracking through my jaw as I settle into my pillow, sleep already dragging me under.
I sleep better beside a demon I just met than I ever have alone with myself. And that, right there, tells me a lot.
I watch Iceman move around my tiny kitchen like he’s a panther hunting prey. His movements are so fluid and predatory. Just grabbing a pan from a cupboard is packed with raw power, and it’s impossible not to watch his every move without being completely mesmerized by it. When I woke up this morning, I discovered two things: Iceman wasn’t lying with me anymore, and I had passed out for over twenty hours.
I was grateful that he had decided to give me space this morning. I don’t usually break open and leak vulnerability everywhere like I did yesterday, and I’m not quite sure how to navigate the aftermath of it all. I spent the entirety of my shower coming up with ways I could brush off everything that happened the morning before, but there’s just no wrestling my demons back inside of me. They’re out now, staring me in the face, demanding I do something about them, and for some reason, I feel relieved about that.
I dried my hair and got dressed feeling lighter than I have in a long time. Then I walked out into what I expected to be pure mayhem in my kitchen, to find all the brokenness and sharp edges were cleaned up and what’s been left in the wake of the mess is still a rough situation, but it’s a hopeful rough situation now. With all the broken pieces of cabinet, counter, floor, and wall, along with the layers of dust gone, it’s easy to see the potential and not just the damage.