Gods & Monsters(24)

Oh yeah. Abel finally got his camera. He bought it himself with the money he saved up from his job. He says he loves to draw me, take his time with my face. But sometimes my face is so beautiful that only a camera can do me justice.

“You’re the worst,” I tell him.

“But you love me.”

“For now.” And just for good measure, I add, “And no sex. Nuh-huh. Not until we tell my parents about us or…” Then an idea strikes me. “Or we get married, like, way, way in the future.”

Okay, I admit it: I love to torture the guy. I’m not waiting for marriage, even if my mom says to. But I am nervous. It’s real, okay? I’m freaking scared of sex right now. Right now, I just want us to play and give each other delicious orgasms.

Chuckling, he kisses me again, and lowers the hem of my dress, gently and sweetly covering me up. “Fine. No sex and I won’t take a picture of you like this. Not until I take you to church and marry you in front of God and man.” He pulls me forward and off the desk, fisting my dress at the waist. “And then, when I’ve given you everything, I’ll take. Whatever I want.”





Abel’s eating his apple, taking big, juicy bites, all the while staring at me from across the hall. Today’s his last day of school. He’s graduating but I’m still stuck here for another two years.

He will still be in town, however. He’s going to be working with Mr. B, who even offered him accommodations, right above the store. So Abel isn’t going to be my neighbor anymore, either.

We’ve talked about him going to college but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be tied down by rules anymore. It’s stupid. Everybody goes to college. That’s how you figure out your life. Plus, he’s so good with a camera. Imagine what he could do with a little formal training and a degree. But nope. According to him, photography is only a hobby, it’s not a career for him. One day I’m going to make him realize that he has so much to offer this world. His camera isn’t there to make him feel invisible but it’s his tool to look at the world in a different way.

Besides, the real reason he isn’t going to college is because I’m here. He hasn’t said it, but I know. I can’t even be mad at him for this. Though I’m mad at myself for being two years behind him.

I can’t look away from him even though the way he’s eating that stupid fruit reminds me of how he eats at my lips. And the way he swipes the juices off his lips reminds me of how he sucks on his fingers after making me come.

Even though I’m glaring at him right now and telling him to cut it out, I have to admit that I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss seeing him around school, smirking and making me blush, his little love notes, his chocolates. I’m going to miss meeting up with him in empty classrooms.

School’s over and as soon as I pack up my things and clean out my locker, Abel and I are going to the creek before summer starts and it becomes super difficult to see him. My mom gets clingy and won’t let me leave the house without her. I can’t see Sky or Abel on a regular basis. I thought getting my driver’s license would give me some freedom but nope. I’m as trapped as ever.

“Just have sex with the guy already. He’s practically fucking his apple right now.” Sky snickers beside me.

“Shut up,” I mutter, ducking my head.

Yeah, we still haven’t done the deed. I know he wants to. It’s the way he touches me, his fingers pulling on my hair and my dress. It’s the way he groans and growls and bites me when we make out. My lips are perpetually swollen now. I know he’s impatient.

I am, too. I know we’re heading that way. I know we’re going to be each other’s firsts but it’s so fun to play with him and make him all desperate. Am I bad? Maybe. But I love it so much. I love being his center of attention, something that consumes him like crazy.

He’s touched me… down there; he’s made me come. I know his dick is both hard and velvety. Gosh, it’s so warm. It’s like he’s the warmest down there. Not to mention, he’s so thick. I haven’t seen it but I’ve touched it and sometimes I wonder how it even fits in his jeans, especially when it’s hard. When I touch him and run my fingers along the length of it and play with the moist head, he comes the hardest. His groans are the loudest then.

Even though he never forces me, there are times when he gets so frustrated. And as a punishment, I’m not allowed to touch myself. Which is so unfair. He jerks off all the time; he even watches all those videos. But to torture me, he tells me no. Like an idiot, I listen to him. It’s like I’m physically incapable of disobeying him. It’s as if I like obeying him. I like giving him whatever he wants. It’s stupid and it doesn’t make any sense, but there you have it.

“I hate this,” I tell him. “I hate you. You’re evil.”

He laughs. “Nah. You’re just frustrated because you want me too much.”

“No, I don’t. If this is how you want sex, it’s not going to work.”

“Oh, I’m gonna wear you down, Pixie. You’ll see.”

I think he loves it when I say no. He likes these games too. Jerk.

I’m lost in thought when Duke approaches us. Actually, he’s approaching me. He hasn’t even glanced at Sky.