Girls of Summer(17)
For a while, they sat looking out the windshield at the dozens, if not hundreds, of seals wallowing on the sand. A trustees sign forbade people from walking toward the area where the seals were.
“Let’s have lunch,” Mack said.
“Good idea.”
They left Mack’s truck, carrying a basket, a cooler of iced drinks, and a plaid blanket down a slope of sand to the shore of the calm waters of Nantucket Sound. They spread the blanket on the beach, enjoying the late May sunshine, pleased that there was no breeze blowing to toss sand into their food. They sat on the blanket, with the basket between them, munching sandwiches and watching the aggressive horsehead seals bob up and down in the water, clearly trying to decide if the humans looked good enough to eat.
Mack told her, “Not long ago, seals were considered pests and killed. Their noses were brought into the town and the hunter got five dollars a nose. Then they were considered an endangered species and killing them became forbidden. Now we’ve come full circle. We’ve got too many seals, so the fishermen can’t catch enough fish.”
“I’ve read that the seals are attracting great white sharks,” Lisa said, eyeing the rubbery pile of creatures rolling over one another, grunting and snorting.
“It’s true. They’ve been spotted on the Cape and around the island. Funny how things change.”
“Funny how time changes us all.” The moment she spoke, Lisa wished she could swallow her words. She didn’t want to talk about time. She was ten years older than Mack. She was in fifth grade when he was born! What was she even doing out here? She was so attracted to the man, and yet she needed to protect herself. He was only being friendly. “You know, Theo and Beth are the same age. I was thirty-one when he was born. I think you were much younger, weren’t you?”
“I was twenty-one,” Mack said. “And I was an idiot.”
Lisa laughed. “Trust me, you can be an idiot at any age.”
“True. I don’t mean I was an idiot to marry Marla. I loved her. And if I hadn’t married her, I wouldn’t have Beth in my life.”
“Tell me about Marla.” Lisa gazed out into the water, giving him emotional space.
“I guess you didn’t know her,” Mack said.
“No. I was in Washington then.” And as I said, I was ten years older, Lisa wanted to add.
“So. She was, well, she was my first love. She was pretty, sweet, and I suppose, in a way, she was maybe a little bit childish. I don’t mean to criticize her. But she didn’t like to face facts.”
“Whereas everyone else loves to face facts,” Lisa joked.
Mack chuckled. “She took things personally. I mean, like the electric bill. If it was high, she would burst into tears. She enjoyed cooking, and always tried to come up with something fancy for our dinner, but if it didn’t come out just right, she was miserable. Even angry—at the casserole, or whatever.”
“She sounds like a perfectionist.”
“She was more of a dreamer. A romantic. She was crazy happy when she was pregnant, although the whole childbirth thing shocked her.”
“Listen, the whole childbirth thing shocks every woman,” Lisa said.
Mack was quiet for a moment, thinking. “She loved Beth. She was a great mother. I can’t say our marriage would have lasted. We were too young and as it turned out, very different. But she was a great mother. Beth was her entire world.”
“It’s heartbreaking that she died,” Lisa said softly.
“Yes.” Mack cleared his throat. “But she was romantic even about that. She believed that she had achieved her destiny by bringing Beth to the world. She died at home. Hospice had been coming for a week. Marla knew she was getting weaker. She had me move Beth’s little bed into our bedroom so she could be with her till the last minute. Beth sat on the end of Marla’s bed and read stories to her mother. Of course, Beth couldn’t read, so she made up the stories. Marla would lie there smiling, hearing Beth’s sweet little voice…” Mack cleared his throat. “Sorry. I haven’t talked about this for a long time.”
Lisa wanted to hold his hand, touch him in consolation, but she remained still, not intruding on his sorrow.
“But Beth’s all right, I think,” Mack continued. “She was so young, and I guess she grew up thinking we were a normal family, the two of us.”
“You’ve been widowed a long time. Did you never want to marry again?”
“Truthfully? No. I guess I never met the right woman. Plus, working full-time and being a single parent isn’t easy.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“That’s right.” Mack looked at Lisa. “You were single with two children. How did that happen?”
Lisa smiled. “I guess I was an idiot, too. So was Erich. Maybe we all are around the age of twenty. We met at Middlebury, married before graduation, and moved to Washington, D.C. Erich and his father worked for a bank based in Switzerland that helped developing countries. They traveled a lot, and spoke several languages.”
“That sounds kind of glamorous.”
“It was.” Lisa picked up a stone and turned it in her hands, idly. “I wasn’t. I never became what Erich thought I should.” Quickly, because she didn’t want to verge into self-pity, she said, “But I did have a wonderful few years traveling through Europe with him on our vacations. I saw Paris, Amsterdam, Rome, and I worked in the National Museum of Women in the Arts in Washington. I liked that a lot. Then we had the children, and I stopped working, and Erich traveled more for the bank, and I missed Nantucket…what do they say? We grew apart. We divorced, and I’m not sorry about that at all.”