Girl Crush(80)

“I think I should get a blood test done. These things aren’t all that accurate, you know?” The tone of my voice was much lighter than the anxiety taking over my heart.

“You’re pregnant?” he repeated as a smile rose on his lips.

“Well, if you want to put our lives in the hands of a plastic stick and corporate conglomerates out to make a quick buck, then we might as well get my Magic Eight Ball and ask it, too…the results would be just as compelling.”

He put the tests back on the counter, and each second that past was longer than the last. His large hands cupped my jaw and tilted my head back, forcing me to look at him. I was a goner. The soft green had warmed with hints of yellow and the ring around the outside of his irises was a deep blue. When his pupils dilated, I closed my eyes.

“Elle, baby.” Gently, his words caressed my skin and then my soul.

The tears gathered behind my closed lids.

“Are we pregnant?”

I nodded my head still held in his hands. Salt-water streams leaked from the sides, and just as quickly, he brushed them away with his thumbs. “I’m so sorry, Collier.”

“Sweetheart, look at me.”

I peeked through my wet lashes.

“I’m a little surprised but thrilled. Please don’t be upset, babe.”

He pulled me to him, and my boobs cried out in pain, but I bit my cheek to keep from expressing the discomfort.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m going to get fat,” I wailed into his chest. “I’m too old to have a baby. We’ve never talked about kids, and we just got engaged. I hate my job and can barely make ends meet as it is. And when you realize all of this, you’re going to bail.”

“That’s a long list of concerns.”

He was patronizing me.

“I promise you, none of that is going to happen. I always wanted kids, but at our age, I just figured that ship had sailed. I never brought it up because I was just happy to have you. Please don’t cry.”

“Ronnie said I’ve gained weight already.”

“Wait, Ronnie knows?” He pulled away to see my face.

“She thinks she knows everything. But no, not officially. I haven’t told anyone I was even taking a test. And clearly, you can tell by the number of sticks sitting here, I’m still in denial.”

“Do you want to have everyone over to tell them?” The excitement on his face rivaled mine when I got a new OPI color. “Beck is going to flip.”

“Oh my God, Collier. You’re a twin! Do you know what two babies will do to my body? Holy stretch marks. No.” My heart raced again, and he laughed. “This isn’t funny. Why didn’t you wear a condom?”

“Why weren’t you on the pill?”

“Don’t blame this on me!”

“I’m not blaming anyone. I can’t wait. A perfect piece of you and me.”

“West, I’m not prepared for this…like at all.”

He walked me to the bed where I flopped down onto my back. The exact thing that got me into this mess, except this time, we were fully clothed and my legs were together.

“What are you most concerned about?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve had time to process it all. But I guess if I weren’t thinking like Giselle, then I wouldn’t be so worried about my body, and I’d be terrified of my financial situation. And my job.” I dropped my eyes to stare at my fidgeting hands on my stomach. “I’ll probably lose my job over this.”

“Babe, that’s illegal.”

“West, my job is to entertain male clients when they’re in the office. To appear single but never be single.” It had never bothered me that I was a face without a brain, until now. I had been content to have zero advancement opportunities and never be anything more than I was because I was comfortable. But now, that was all backfiring on me, and my child would pay the price. “I have nothing to offer a baby.” The words slipped between my lips unintentionally, a thought gone astray.

He rolled over on his side to face me. Something close to anger bubbled just below the surface, but he restrained from expressing it. “How can you say that?”

I shrugged. This pity party for one was far too well-attended for my liking. I needed some time to mope alone and get accustomed to the idea of being an incubator for the foreseeable future.

“Giselle, you’re one of the funniest, kindest, most good-hearted women I’ve ever met. I love your quirks and find them endearing. How can you not see all the wonderful things about you?”

“I’m a glorified receptionist, West.”

“That’s what you do. That’s not who you are.” He brushed the hair away from my face and stared into my eyes. What came out of his mouth next blew me away and sealed my future. “Do you want to get rid of it?” The pain radiated in his features.

“No! Oh my God, no. Why would you ask such a thing?” And just like that, I knew why. My gut instinct was protection, love. It was primal, and he knew it was there.

“You needed to feel that reaction. Everything else is easy. It’s all just details.”

Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, but I didn’t know if they were happy or sad, maybe a combination of both. The ending of a portion of my life in favor of starting another.