Fortune and Glory (Stephanie Plum #27)(29)

Lula and I jumped out and ran at Shine. Lula was waving her gun and yelling like a crazy woman. I had cuffs and pepper spray.

There was a moment where surprise registered on Shine’s face, and then he hunkered down over the wheel and gunned the engine.

“Holy crap,” Lula said. “He’s gonna ram you. He’s going for ramming speed.”

I dove over the curb, Lula flattened herself against the wall of the building, and Shine roared past us. He crashed into my CR-V and pushed it out of the exit lane and into the parking lot. He paused for three seconds, and then he took off down the road. A black Mercedes sports car appeared out of nowhere and followed Shine.

“What the heck!” I said. “Sonofabitch!”

“No kidding,” Lula said. “He’s got a problem with that old Range Rover. The air bag didn’t inflate. I bet nobody paid attention to a recall notice.”

“He wrecked my car.”

“Yeah, we didn’t see that one coming. Do you think that was Gabriela following him?”

“Yes!”

“She gets around,” Lula said. “Do you think she’s after our bounty money?”

“Worse,” I said. “I think she’s after our fortune and glory.”

Customers were wandering out of Dreamy Creamery to see the wreck and take selfies.

“You should do something,” Lula said. “Get a tow truck out here or phone Uber. I need to use the restroom.”

“You aren’t going to use the restroom. You’re going in to get ice cream.”

“Yes, but before I do that, I might wash my hands.”

Rangeman control room called. Undoubtedly notified of the wreck by one of the many sensors surreptitiously placed on my car.

“Your front sensor is reporting a malfunction,” he said.

“Long story short, my car has a crumpled front end.”

“Can you drive it?”

“No. The hood is smashed up against the windshield.”

“Are you okay?”

“Okay is relative for me.”

“Do you need assistance?”

“Assistance would be wonderful.”

I retrieved my purse from my car and went inside to get ice cream. A fire truck arrived, followed by a cop car. Lula and I took our ice cream outside and said hello to the guys. The fire truck left, and the cop went inside to get ice cream.

A black Rangeman SUV rolled in and Tank got out.

“I’ll take it from here,” he said. “Wayne will drive you home… or wherever.”

Lula went back to the office, and I went to my parents’ house to borrow a car.

“Look who’s here,” Grandma said. “Miss Celebrity! You’re all over the internet. YouTube and everything. The phone hasn’t stopped ringing.”

“Why me?” my mother asked. “Mary Jo Krazinski’s daughter works in the bank. A teller. My daughter jumps out of hooker hotel windows.”

“I didn’t jump,” I said.

“Of course you jumped,” Grandma said. “It was a beauty. You came out of that window like you were shot from a cannon. Some bystander got it all. Lula backed out after you. I don’t like to speak bad about anyone, but it wasn’t a pretty sight. It was like Winnie the Pooh getting stuck in the rabbit hole, if Winnie the Pooh was wearing a red thong.”

“I thought I dropped,” I said to Grandma.

“Nope,” she said. “You jumped.”

She pulled the video up on her cell phone.

“This is horrible,” I said. “My hair is a mess, and I look fat.”

“It’s these T-shirts you wear,” Grandma said. “They’re all washed out and they don’t give you any shape. You need some pretty clothes.”

“I can’t afford to buy clothes. I have to buy a new car.”

“You can buy whatever you want when we find the treasure,” Grandma said.

My mother brought bread and deli ham and provolone cheese to the little kitchen table. I set my messenger bag on the counter and got mustard and mayo from the fridge.

“I’m not moving as fast as I’d like on the treasure hunt,” I said. “Every time I get a lead, it ends in disaster.”

“I got a good lead at the grocery this morning,” Grandma said. “I was in line next to Dottie Clark and she was talking about her son the fireman and how he got called out to the Lucky Lucy Café last night. Seems that it suddenly filled up with smoke and dust and that the smoke set off the fire alarm. She said it was odd that it happened right after you blew up the Margo.”

“I didn’t blow up the Margo,” I said. “Lou Salgusta blew up the Margo.”

My mother sucked in air. “Lou Salgusta was there?” She made the sign of the cross. “He’s a maniac. He burns his initials onto people’s private places. And then he kills them.”

Grandma went to the fridge to get pickles. “Maybe he died in the blast. Did they bring in any cadaver dogs?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I haven’t heard anything about a search and recovery effort.”

Grandma brought bread-and-butter pickles to the table and added them to her sandwich. “I know the boys’ secret escape tunnel ran to the Margo. So maybe the tunnel also went from the Margo to Lucky Lucy. They’re only a couple blocks apart.”