Forgive Me(2)

Her mother’s jabs always held a hint of truth, which made them hurt even more. Nadine’s school was expensive, that was a fact. But her father paid most of the tuition.

Money, it seemed, was the only thing that wasn’t a problem in Nadine’s life. Dad sent them plenty. He said he was happy to support them, but Nadine knew the truth. He was assuaging (an SAT word she’d recently learned) his guilt.

He didn’t want her in his life. He wanted his new, young wife and no kids to hassle them. He wanted to travel and go to all the fancy restaurants he posted on his Facebook feed. One look at her dad’s profile page and it was obvious a kid didn’t fit into the picture. After the divorce, her father had moved to Philadelphia—Bryn Mawr East, to be exact—with a new executive position at an insurance company and a new woman in his life. He posted a few photos of Nadine, but those were all recent. No “Throwback Thursday” posts (#tbt in Facebook parlance) on her dad’s page. No pictures of Nadine aged infant to tween; no evidence of his former life, aka his great mistake as he’d called his marriage during an epic pre-divorce blowout.

That was how he viewed his family. That was all Nadine was to him—a great mistake.

Apparently her mother felt the same way.

Nadine’s last meal at home was chicken casserole, which she prepared using a recipe she got off the Internet. Her mother downed a bottle of wine with the meal. In her drunken stupor, she failed to notice the shoes Nadine had left in front of the closet door. Her mother tripped over the shoes and fell to the floor, twisting her ankle on the way down.

Nadine apologized. She had meant to put the shoes where they belonged, but was preoccupied with school, and dinner, and her too many responsibilities.

Her mother was hearing none of it. She went to the couch and applied ice to the injury, then poured herself another glass of wine, allegedly because it helped with the pain.

“Sorry again, Mom,” Nadine said. “Are you okay?”

Her mother’s eyes were red as her nail polish. “You’re so thoughtless, Nadine,” she slurred. “How am I going to go to work now? I can’t even walk. Sometimes I wish your father would let you go live with him. I know that’s what you want.”

That was it. That did it. Enough was enough. Her father didn’t want her. Neither did her mother. The choice was made not by her, but for her. Nobody wanted Nadine, so nobody had to have her.

After her mother slipped into drunken sleep, Nadine took all of the money they kept in the house—$400-some dollars—and her mother’s jewelry and walked out the door with a school knapsack filled with clothes instead of books. She walked to Montgomery Mall, about four and half miles, then took a Metrobus downtown. She had plenty of money to spend, plus whatever a pawnshop would give her for the jewelry.

Pretending to be her mother, Nadine had called in sick to school. It was that easy. Her mother would take the day off to nurse her injured ankle—she’d already sent the e-mail to her boss. She’d wake up late and hung over, and think Nadine was at school. She’d think that until five o’clock rolled around.

Then she’d wonder. Maybe she’d call some of Nadine’s friends. It would be seven . . . and then eight . . . and then panic. Maybe panic. Or maybe not. She’d probably be happy. Relieved to be rid of Nadine once and for all.





Nadine didn’t know what her mother was thinking. She’d been gone for three days without calling home. She’d found a motel on the far side of the city that didn’t bother to check ID, didn’t care that she was a sixteen-year-old girl out on her own.

The question was what to do with all the time on her hands. She enjoyed school and did her homework diligently. She loved English especially, loved to escape into other people’s happy or miserable lives and forget about her own for a while. She found a used bookstore off Dupont Circle and bought several books, including the entire Testing Trilogy by Joelle Charbonneau. She devoured all three volumes in the span of two days. But something was missing. Idle time to read had in some ways diminished the pleasure.

She was wandering aimlessly in Union Station, admiring the shops and all the things she had no money to buy, wondering how to pass the day, when a man approached.

He was tall and good-looking for an older man, with a nicely round head sporting a buzz cut like Jason Statham’s, and a clean-shaven face. His most notable feature was a pair of piercing blue eyes. He carried a bag from Heydari Design, which Nadine knew sold women’s clothing and accessories.

“Can I ask you something?” he said to her.

He had a foreign accent, Nadine thought. But it was subtle. Something distinct—sophisticated was the word that came to mind—something like a count would use. He was dressed sharply in a tailored navy suit, blue oxford underneath, no tie. His shoes were polished black loafers.

Nadine gazed at the man, unable to speak before finding her voice. “Yes,” was all she said. Why is he talking to me? What could he want? Did Mom put out a missing persons report? Does he recognize me? Am I in trouble? Will he call the police? Will they take me to jail? Worse, will they take me back home?

“I just bought something for my daughter. She’s about your age. But after I left the store, I was hit with doubt. I could use a second opinion. She likes the color blue, if that helps any.”

From inside the Heydari bag, he removed a twilight blue linen-blend scarf, fringed at the ends for a touch of sophistication. It was lovely, something Nadine would have bought for herself if she had money to spend on such purchases. Books and food were all she could afford to buy. Plus she needed money for her motel room. Where else was she going to sleep? There was a lot more to running away from home than she had contemplated.