For Your Own Protection(29)

Matt tried to think of a way of putting his feelings into words. As much as he didn’t want to discuss his innermost thoughts with James Farrah, there was no avoiding it. ‘I love my son more than anything in the world,’ he began. ‘I’d do anything for him.’

James nodded his understanding, but he didn’t have children of his own, so how could he possibly understand?

Matt continued, hoping that he wasn’t about to lose grip of his emotions. ‘The thought of losing him, it makes me feel sick. Physically sick.’

‘But you wouldn’t—’ James interjected.

Matt put up a hand. ‘If he goes to Australia, I’d lose him. I wouldn’t see him.’

‘We would FaceTime.’

‘I’d be a face on a screen. It’s not the same.’

James didn’t deny it.

Matt held James’s gaze as he tried to get him to truly understand. As James stood there, attentive, there suddenly seemed a purpose to this conversation – maybe Matt could change James’s mind, if only he could find the right words.

‘Charlie is four and a half now. He’s changing so much, growing up. If you take him to Australia, then he will grow up without me.’

It sounded selfish, but didn’t he have a right to be selfish when it came to his own son?

James ran a hand across his face. ‘I do understand, Matt, I truly do. I may not be a father, but I can understand. That’s why I turned down the Sydney job offer initially.’

‘You turned it down?’

‘Yes. Twice. And you know how much Gabriel likes to be turned down.’ His smile was tight. ‘He wasn’t particularly happy, but I decided I couldn’t do it to you. Not after what you’ve gone through.’

Matt found James’s empathetic statements hard to believe, but maybe he was being too cynical. ‘So what changed?’

There was a telling pause. ‘Beth convinced me to go for it.’

It felt like a low blow to the stomach. ‘Beth convinced you?’

‘She said it was too good an opportunity to turn down. And . . . and it would be good for Charlie to experience a different culture.’

Matt found himself shaking his head in a mixture of disbelief and anger. He closed his eyes and pushed down hard on the words he wanted to release.

James stepped towards him. ‘Beth said she wanted to make sure you got to see as much of Charlie as possible. You’re free to come over to Australia and visit whenever you like. You can stay at our place, no problem.’

Matt was hardly listening.

‘Beth was concerned about how it might affect you.’

‘Just not concerned enough,’ Matt let slip. The sense of betrayal was palpable and wounding. They might not be together now as a couple, but surely they’d always be together as a family?

‘Look, Matt—’ James was interrupted by his mobile. He stepped back towards the windows. ‘Hi . . . Okay, sure. Will do.’

‘The meeting is still overrunning?’

‘No, it’s finished. But Gabriel’s just had to leave for an unscheduled meeting at the Bank of England. I’m afraid he’s going to have to postpone.’

Matt was glad. ‘I’d better be going then.’

‘Wait,’ James called, as Matt headed to the door. He pulled out an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it over. ‘Gabriel wanted me to give you this, in case he didn’t get the chance to tell you himself.’



Matt left the letter unopened until he’d exited the building.

It was a personal letter from Gabriel.

He wanted him back with the company, one and a half weeks from now – accompanying him on an important trip to New York.

There was an offer of immediate promotion. And a salary increase of 25 per cent.

Matt had to give his answer by 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.





CHAPTER NINETEEN


‘Matt. I wasn’t expecting to see you.’

Amy welcomed her brother into her small rented flat in Stoke Newington early on Tuesday morning. The place was tiny, just a small bedroom with an adjoining kitchen/dining/living room. But Amy had done her best to make it pleasant, decorating it with paintings, pottery, and beautiful throws.

‘Cup of tea?’ she asked, already filling the kettle.

Matt nodded. He stifled a yawn.

Amy eyed him. ‘You look terrible.’

‘Thanks. I didn’t sleep too well.’ His mind had been racing with thoughts of Gabriel’s offer, and of the revelation that Beth had encouraged James to take the Sydney position. He’d finally given up on sleep at 5 a.m., and had instead gone for an early-morning walk to try to clear his head.

‘So, what’s up?’

Matt had run through his explanation during the walk. But the carefully crafted lines had deserted him. ‘I’m returning to the bank.’

‘Oh,’ Amy said, looking momentarily quite disappointed. She recovered almost instantly. ‘Well, if that’s what you want to do, then that’s great. Really great. I’m pleased for you.’ She patted him on the arm, then turned her back as she popped a couple of teabags into the pot.

Matt watched her back, wondering what she was thinking. But really, he knew.

‘I let Gabriel know first thing this morning. I’m sorry, Amy.’