Follow Me(41)

I laughed bitterly. Leave it to Audrey to not even notice the men piling up at her feet. “It’s not. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you should have told me. You’re supposed to be my friend. How could you not tell me?”

“Because I wanted to protect you!” she exclaimed, flinging her arms in the air. “I know you like Connor, but he’s a moron who doesn’t realize what a catch you are.”

I snorted. “Sure. I’m a real catch.”

“You are. You’re—”

“No,” I said, shaking my head firmly. “Once a freak, always a freak.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not a freak.” She reached for my cup. “Maybe I should cut you off . . .”

“You know I’m right,” I said, yanking the cup out of her reach, sloshing juice and wine on her bed. “You remember freshman year. And before that . . . Audrey, I haven’t always looked like this. I used to be shorter, chunkier. I had bad skin and a stutter. I couldn’t make eye contact without breaking into a full-body rash.”

“So? That’s not who you are now. You’re beautiful and smart and confident—”

“Tell that to Emily Snow.”

“Who?” Audrey blinked.

I caught my breath, suddenly sober. I hadn’t meant to mention Emily Snow. I’d made it all these years without once telling Audrey about that summer at camp, and I hoped to make it many more. I swallowed hard and shook my head. “Just some girl who used to torment me.”

“Forget her,” Audrey said, putting her hands over mine. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized mine were shaking. “You’re a striking woman, a brilliant lawyer who owns her own gorgeous apartment in a vibrant city. What do you think that Emily Snow bitch is doing these days? Shilling some pyramid-scheme yoga pants out of her suburban tract home?”

My stomach tightened. If only Emily Snow were doing that.

“Listen to me, Cat,” she said, blue-green eyes shimmering earnestly as she squeezed my hands. “You have everything going for you. Everything. So one dumb guy doesn’t get it. Who cares about him?”

I wanted to agree with her. I wanted to wash my hands of my unrequited obsession with Connor, to be free of the way he made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. God knows I had tried. But for some reason, I just couldn’t let go.

I hung my head and whispered, “I care.”

Audrey dropped my hands and sighed. “Fine. I ask you not to judge my choice in male companions, so I’m not going to judge yours.”

“At least you can have Nick. You’re not—”

“Stop that negative self-talk right now. You’re a babe, and you can have whomever you want, Connor included.” She paused and smiled slowly. “And I’ll prove it to you.”

“How?”

Her smile widened and her eyes sparkled. “I have an idea.”

Against all reason, I felt a flicker of hope in my chest. Everything Audrey touched turned to gold. Why shouldn’t I?





CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE





HIM


The three days after I sent the RAT-laced email were excruciating. My entire being vibrated with anticipation; I couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, couldn’t sleep. I could hardly bring myself to step away from my computer in case I somehow missed her, and so I called in sick to work. Even taking a shower was too much time away from my post, and I sat in my own filth. I sustained myself on my dwindling supply of animal crackers and berated myself for fouling this all up. Audrey wasn’t going to download the program. Of course she wasn’t. What person in their right mind would download a file called “Photo” from a stranger? I was an idiot to think it would have been that easy, a lovesick idiot.

My constant vigil overwhelmed me, and I must have fallen asleep because I awoke with a start, my neck cricked and a half-chewed animal cracker stuck to the roof of my mouth. Blearily, I turned back to the computer.

And there it was.

On my RAT desktop, I could see the icon indicating I had access to her computer. I blinked once, twice, wondering whether I was still asleep, whether wanting something so much had made me delusional. Holding my breath, waiting for the icon to vanish before my eyes, I navigated my mouse to it and clicked. My stomach lurched as I did so; I was terrified that, if this was real, she would notice the green light suddenly appearing beside the eye of her laptop’s camera. I’d read all about how that light had spelled disaster for other “ratters.”

But Audrey gave no indication she noticed it. She wasn’t even looking at the screen. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, her exquisite body clad in form-fitting exercise clothing. She held a plastic cup in one hand, while the other was digging around in a tub of animal crackers. My face tingled, and I swallowed the lump of saliva-soaked cookie in my mouth. She’s eating animal crackers at this very moment, too. It was a sign. It had to be.

I reached out to touch my screen, tracing a finger along that gorgeous hair that I loved so much, imagining that I was actually twining my fingers through the locks, inhaling the scent of her coconut shampoo. I was so captivated by Audrey’s shimmering aura that I barely glanced at the other woman in the frame. When I finally noticed her, I paused and frowned. What a strange pair these two were. One fire-haired sprite, one awkward dormouse.