Flock (The Ravenhood Duet #1)(87)
“She needs to believe,” I look him over. “She’s terrified.”
“I know.” He turns and meets my gaze. “Do you believe in all that shit y’all were talking about?”
“I want to. And if I were told I might die, I damn sure would be praying for my salvation every day. I guess that makes me a hypocrite when it comes to religion. I am because I’m only faithful when it’s convenient.”
His nod is solemn as he peers back toward the house as we continue to idle. “She’s changed a lot, but I can still see her in there.” A reminiscing smile tickles his lips. “And you will never be the heathen she was.”
“You know I have secrets of my own.” I swallow and brave a glance his way. I see no judgment, which only endears him to me. He squeezes my knee briefly and winks.
“You’ve been corrupted.”
“Willingly corrupted.”
“You are good people, Cecelia.” His eyes drift back to the house. “Dominic’s tried for years to get her to start living right. They—” He clears his throat and darts his gaze away, “tried.” He’s in pain. Real pain. And that’s when I know I was right. His eyes light up when he speaks. “You might not see it now from the shape she’s in, but eight years ago, she was one of the most beautiful fucking women to walk this Earth. Her ex ruined her, and she let him.”
“She wasn’t just a crush, was she?”
He slowly shakes his head. “I was comfort for her, but she’s the one who crushed me. Despite being a punk-ass eighteen-year-old, I knew I loved her. He’d left her years before we hooked up. She was already heavy on the bottle and when she sobered up, she made it clear to me I was a mistake. I enlisted right after.”
“Oh my God, Tyler, I’m so sorry.”
He wipes his hand over his face. “It was never going to work anyway. The military was always my plan, and she was too far gone by the time we happened. I—” He shrugs, though I know the weight on his shoulders is too heavy to shake away. “Can’t help who you fall for, right?”
“Ain’t that the truth.” I study his stark profile. “Did Dom know?”
“No. No one. You’re the only one I’ve ever told. And she…well, she’ll take it to her grave. She’s the best at keeping secrets. Better than any one of us.” He takes one more look at the house before pulling out of the driveway. “She was only twenty when she…became a reluctant parent.”
My age. I can’t imagine.
“But she did what she could. The irony is it’s her ovaries killing her anyway. One big life fuck you. I wouldn’t have given a damn about her age, then or now, if she would have let me in. Fuck, I hate seeing her like this.”
I cover his hand on the seat with mine. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. If I would have known, I never would have asked you.”
“No, I’m glad you did. I thought it was best to stay away, but now that I’ve seen her…I know better. I’ll do better and I won’t let her suffer alone anymore. She dismissed us and broke my fucking heart, and then I turned around and gave up on her in return. The eighteen-year-old me didn’t understand it. I do now.” I study his profile as he drives us out of the neighborhood.
“You still love her.”
He nods. “I have since I was sixteen. But Cee, this is our secret to keep.”
“I will. I swear to you, Tyler. Thank you for trusting me with it.”
Silence follows and I know he’s hurting—I can feel it pouring from him. Even after all these years, even in her wretched state, he still loves her.
For the first time in my life, I don’t see the beauty in tragedy. I see the cruelty of it. He drives on, silent and reflective, the whole way back to the shopping center, only addressing me when he turns into the parking lot. He grins, shaking his head ironically. “Life is crazy, isn’t it?”
“Never know where a day can bring you, especially around here,” I repeat his words from the day we met. “You okay?”
“I’m good. Swear.” The light in his eyes returns briefly, along with a peek of his dimple. “And I’m here for any favor you need, Cee. I’ve got your back.”
“Same, Tyler, same.”
“YOU ARE ONE LUCKY BITCH.” I palm my stomach, admiring the snug fit of the dress I bought specifically for tonight. I spent half of another shitty paycheck just to see that shop owner, Tessa, light up. It was a reward in itself. It’s a dangling two-piece, a halter that shows a little side boob, along with a flowing black skirt. It’s a little risqué, and I decide Dominic will love it. The occasion is special. It’s for our first date.
A real date.
His idea.
If that isn’t evidence of progression, I don’t know what is. I try not to question anymore the why of the three of us.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why these two gorgeous guys with so much to offer have settled on me. It can’t be just the sex, because I’ve seen for myself just how capable they are of getting any woman within a five-mile radius. I want to believe that their interest is genuine, that they truly do respect me and are okay with this arrangement because I can’t imagine having to choose between them. I get no grief in return for this tradeoff, absolutely none.