Fire and Bone (Otherborn #1)(84)

I rush to the monk’s side, praying none of his bones were broken. “What have you done?” I snap at Eric. I help Lailoken into my chair and turn on the shade. “You dare to touch my watcher? I should have you tossed in the dungeon. Foolish leech!”

Eric resumes his place as guard and stares at me, daring me to act.

Lailoken waves a hand. “It’s all very well, Lily.” He dabs his lip with his sleeve. “I’m still in one piece. No harm done.”

“You’re bleeding,” I say, still glaring a hole through Eric. The shade scowls right back.

“It’s nothing,” Lailoken says. He takes my hand, patting it between his. “Now, tell my why you’ve called me here.”

I reluctantly pull my gaze from the Norseman and focus on my friend. I kneel in front of him and study the cut on his lip, anger boiling up. I needed an ally and he came. Even though he likely knew this would be the consequence. I was a fool to think he’d be treated well by the king’s men. There’s a reason he stays in the caves.

He makes a small sound of pain as he shifts to face the bed. “Is your king ill? What’s happened, child?”

“He brought Fionn’s spirit back, and this is the result. Is he being punished? What can I do?”

Lailoken frowns and leans forward, studying the still form of my Bonded. Ice crystals are beginning to grow slowly around the king’s mouth and at his temples now.

“Have you called on your mother?” Lailoken asks.

I nod.

“Well?”

“She said the same as before.” I glance at Eric.

Lailoken furrows his brow, concern flickering over his features. “She did, did she?”

“Yes, but it’s impossible now . . . Why do you look so glum? I don’t understand.”

“It seems obvious to me, child.”

“What?”

He scoots closer, whispering, “She wishes for you to allow him to feed.”

My pulse skips. “On me?”

He gives me a dubious look.

I rise to my feet. “I can’t. I won’t.” Panic fills me. I thought she wanted me to allow him into my bed, not my spirit. “This whole thing is madness.”

He releases a tired sigh. “I will pray, then.”

Eric steps forward. “What is all this whispering? What goes on?”

“Nothing,” I say. How can I let the king feed from me? He could consume me altogether, leave nothing.

Of course, in that case, I’d finally be free.

I look back to his still form. I am grateful for what he did, how he healed my Fionn. But it doesn’t change what he is, what his power could do to me. My choice appears to be to let him languish or to sacrifice myself. My inclination leans toward the former. What good will it do anyone to have both high royal children of the two great goddesses become useless?

But something deep inside won’t allow me to just let this go. The same force that has kept me at his bedside these last three nights is tugging at me, urging me to give in. It draws me to him. It makes me yearn for the most terrifying things.

“You are considering,” Lailoken says, reading me as he always does.

“I don’t know.”

“I think your mother will protect you, child,” he says.

“What?” Eric asks. “What are you considering?”

I meet his eyes. “I wonder if I should attempt to feed myself to him.”

Eric’s body stiffens. “You would do such a thing?”

“I wouldn’t want him to suffer,” I say, surprised that I mean it. “I would do what I can.” And I am trying to be obedient. I am. I don’t wish to hurt anyone else. Not again. “Sitting here isn’t doing any good.”

“He wouldn’t wish for you to be harmed,” Eric says, but he watches his master with concern, like he’s considering helping me, anyway. He doesn’t care for me, but he does care about the king.

I decide to play that to my advantage. “We’ll tell him that I forced you. Your king won’t have to know you helped me.”

Eric studies the stone floor, his brow creased in concern. But then he nods. “What do you need?”

“I need you to ensure my friend is given food and supplies, then safely escort him back to his cave,” I say. “You’ll leave me here alone with the king and not return until one of us walks through that door.”

“How do I know you’re not planning to feed from him yourself and sap him further?” he asks.

I hold his gaze, hoping he’ll see the truth in my eyes. “Because I’d rather die than feed from this beast.”

He blinks like I struck him, but he gives another nod, then waves Lailoken forward. “Come, monk. I’ll escort you myself. No harm will come to you.”

Lailoken takes my hand in his again, gripping me tight. “I fear for you, daughter.”

I kiss his cheek. “I’ll come to you at sunrise tomorrow. Either in spirit or in body. But I’ll see you one last time, I promise.” I give him a small smile. “We’ll see if my mother is as wise as they say.”

Fear overwhelms me for a moment as I watch him go, and I have to dig my nails into my palms to keep my power from surfacing. I shiver and turn to the king. The cold is suddenly a sting in my bones. But if I plan to do this, I need to get it over with.