Fire and Bone (Otherborn #1)(77)
I swallow hard, not wanting to cry.
We pause as we come to the waterfall near the steps that lead to the cottages. Neither of us seems sure of what comes next. Seconds tick by, and the sound of water splashing into the lagoon pool surrounds us. An owl hoots from one of the taller trees.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he finally says, “especially on the night of your Introduction to our world. And after everything that’s happened . . .”
I don’t really have anything to say in response. Would there have been a better time to see it?
“Does that happen a lot,” I ask, “the . . . killing?”
He stares at the dark surface of the water. “Less than it used to.” After a few seconds, he adds, “They have to be more careful now.”
The way he says they, like he doesn’t include himself in their world, strikes me as odd, but a trickle of relief comes. He doesn’t think of himself as one of them.
I watch his profile in the moonlight, and the memory of how he called himself an outcast comes back to me. How he said he left his family. I find myself wondering about his life, what his story is. How did he become this, a servant and hunter, claiming he’d take a knife to the heart for me, a girl he barely knows?
“I’m sorry you got stuck with me,” I say.
He turns and studies me, his eyes tracing the lines of my face. “I’m not sorry,” he finally says. But confusion pinches his brow, like he’s surprised at himself.
I can’t help thinking of the way he tried to teach me to control my powers tonight, even a little bit, so I wouldn’t hurt someone. And then he kissed me . . . an all-consuming kiss that rocked everything under me. I want so badly for it not to have been a lie. I need it to be true after what happened with Kieran tonight.
I reach up and touch the bronze medallion on my chest, wondering about my sister, this queen named Lily. Everyone acts as if she was so powerful, so strong. A killer, yes, but strong. What would she have done tonight? Would she have destroyed Kieran? Would she have let herself fall for Faelan? Or would she have run, like I want to do right now?
“I should take off the other torque,” Faelan says, breaking through my thoughts. “It’s useless now since the older, stronger one will take over.”
A twinge of fear uncurls in my chest. “Will this one be safe?” I can’t imagine it would be if Kieran gave it to me. But then, when he put it on me, the shift wasn’t in his favor. I felt like I could finally breathe again and fight him off. It doesn’t make sense. Why would he place a torque on me that gives me freedom to push him away?
“A torque isn’t safe or dangerous,” Faelan says. “It just is.”
“So this one will be okay?”
“It was your sister’s, gifted to her for her Bonding ceremony by her mother. It’s rumored that it had to be very strong to combat Lily’s powers.”
“Does that mean I’m not dangerous with this one on?” I ask.
He shakes his head slowly. “No way to tell. A torque is meant to be shaped for a single spirit. So it likely won’t work on you very well in the long run. Unless Kieran was somehow able to get a druid to reshape the bloodspell on it specifically for you. He would’ve needed some of your blood, though, to do that.”
Back to square one, then.
He comes around behind me and gently unclasps the weaker torque. “We’ll see how well it works tomorrow.”
I turn to face him as he pulls the necklace off, my heart beating harder as I search his face. A yearning fills me. To push aside this fear, to feel the same rush of wonder he made me feel earlier, when he held me and kissed me and consumed me.
“Faelan,” I whisper, stepping closer.
He goes still, muscles tensing, fear sparking in his eyes.
And an ache blossoms in my gut.
The owl hoots again in the trees above, and a smaller bird sings in answer. I take in a breath of the cool evening air, the scent of night jasmine filling my head, and wish I could sort out everything that I’m feeling.
I wish it had been a different kind of night.
“Thank you for bringing me home,” I say softly. I give him a weak smile before walking away and heading for my cottage.
I sit on the couch, staring down at the coffee table. I’ve never felt more trapped in my entire life, not even when I was in that Catholic group home, or when my mom’s next-door neighbor, Mrs. Randall, locked me in her broom closet when she babysat me. I can’t run. I can’t run from any of this—my powers, or Kieran, or my sister’s past.
The only person I don’t want to run from is Faelan. But I’m not even sure I can have him.
How could he kiss me like that if he didn’t mean it?
My eyes fall on the scroll he gave me this afternoon—the scroll that supposedly has the stories about my sister in it.
My pulse picks up a little. The truth of what’s happening to me could be in there. But I’m starting to wonder if I want to know what I might become.
The dark princess’s words come back to me: My brother would be pleased to teach her, tame her, as the King of Ravens tamed her sister.
Like the king tamed my sister? Is that what Kieran wants to do to me? What does that even mean?
The king was their brother, and my sister was married to him, and then somewhere in there she murdered him and tried to destroy the whole world. And either Kieran thinks in his twisted mind that he and I should be together, or he thinks that he should torment me until I get thrown into goddess hell along with my sister.