Fire and Bone (Otherborn #1)(65)

I consider what I want to know before walking out into the lion’s den. I have a million unanswered questions. So much I don’t get yet. But one question rings in my head. “What happens if I don’t want to take on any kind of royal thing? Like, in a few weeks when this is all said and done, when I’m supposed to decide which house I want to commit to and all that, could I choose to just, like, be a real estate agent instead?”

His eyes narrow. “Why are you asking this?”

“I don’t want to be some sort of princess,” I say, trying to be as honest as I can. “I want to just chill and be me. I’ve always wanted to help people. I thought about going to school to be a psychologist for a while, to work with kids.”

Marius doesn’t seem to know how to process what I’m saying. “Chill?”

Faelan steps forward, like a guard. “She’s overwhelmed, sir, that’s all.”

Marius keeps frowning at me. “You wish to live a human life still. Even knowing what you are? Why?”

“I just want the choice,” I say.

“If only it were that simple.” He considers for a moment. “There is a sacrifice for your blood, young Sage. The order of the Otherworld is old and carries many benefits, but a demi cannot live a fully human life without a heavy cost. Most Otherborn have tasks in society to keep our fingers on the pulse of culture or creativity, even politics. But no one is ever truly free when they are born of Other.”

His words fall like shattering glass in my ears. The understanding of what I’ve been pulled into hits me full force. No one is ever truly free . . . “I can’t do this,” I say, shaking my head, suddenly very sure.

Faelan gives me a panicked look. “Yes, you can. You’ve got to.”

I meet his gaze.

“You can do this, Sage,” he says, sounding sure. “You’re strong. You can become iron. Just make them believe you mean it, even if you don’t, and you’ll find a way to get what you want, just like we talked about. Take the power from them. Use it.”

“I’m not strong,” I say. All I want to do in this moment is the same thing I always do: run.

Strong people don’t run.

“You are,” he says. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

His words filter around us, and I feel them in my bones. It almost makes me believe them.

“Whether you do this tonight or not,” Marius says, “your blood will Emerge soon. Either you’ll learn to control it here with us or you’ll go hide in the human world and end up hurting people. Likely killing them.”

My mouth goes dry.

“Listen to Faelan,” Marius adds. “Let the journey begin and see where it takes you.”

I stare past them both, through the glass doors and out into the night. The crowds are too far away to see, the royal beings out in the veranda unclear through the glass. “I need Faelan with me out there,” I say, surprising myself.

“What?” Faelan asks, sounding as shocked as I feel.

“Of course,” Marius says. “I will present you, and once that’s finished you can claim him as your protector, then he’ll come out to stand behind you.”

Faelan steps forward, saying under his breath, “But Sage, I thought—”

I cut him off, still talking to Marius. “No. I want him with me the whole time.” It suddenly feels important for everyone to see him beside me from the beginning.

Marius doesn’t look sure but he nods. “Very well. Are you comfortable with that, Faelan?”

Faelan shakes his head. “That’s not what you wanted, Sage.”

He’s sort of right, but he’s been there for me during all of this mess—even after he thought I rejected him, he was there, showing me how to be okay. I’m not used to that, so I don’t think I really noticed it until right now. But I’m sure as hell not going to pretend it doesn’t mean something to me. “I’m asking you to be my protector, Faelan. Will you?”

He studies my face.

“Yes or no?” I ask.

Marius looks between us, concern filling his eyes. “What’s going on, Faelan?”

Faelan shakes his head again. “Things have happened.”

“What things?” Marius asks, his voice low.

“He’s not sure what to do with me,” I say, not looking away from Faelan.

His neck muscles tense. “That isn’t right. And you know it.”

“Are you backing out of our agreement, Faelan?” Marius asks.

“No, sir,” Faelan says.

“I’m asking you to be my protector, Faelan,” I say more gently, trying to figure out how to explain better how I feel without saying too much. “I’m not asking because I have to, but because I trust you—I don’t know why, I barely know you, but I do: I trust you. Whatever else I feel. Right now, in this moment, in spite of everything, you might be the only person here that I do trust.” It’s amazing. And terrifying.

The tension slides from his features.

“You’ve already helped me,” I add. “And protected me, and saved me. At least get the credit. Walk out there with me and do what you promised.”

“If I go out there with you,” Faelan says, “it’ll look like we’re equals. And we’re not.”