Finding Our Forever (Silver Springs #1)(40)

But Matt wasn’t gone. He called out to her from the bedroom the moment he heard her come through the door.

Since she had such a small place, and only one bed, he was in it. After having shared that same bed with Eli only the night before, seeing Matt there felt so strange. But she hadn’t invited Matt to New Horizons. She was merely being kind—and cautious—by giving him a place to rest until they could discuss whatever he’d come here to discuss.

“How was school?” He propped himself up with her pillows as she walked into the room and put her purse on the dresser.

That he was just rousing indicated he’d slept since she’d been gone, which answered that question. She hadn’t missed an opportunity to get rid of him. “Today? Tedious.”

“You don’t like teaching here?”

She sat on the edge of the bed. “Normally, I do. But I was on pins and needles knowing you were waiting for me. What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why did you drive down here? Show up unexpectedly—and at least partially intoxicated? You could’ve killed yourself or someone else, driving that way.”

“I wasn’t drunk!”

She suspected he’d started out that way. He was lucky he hadn’t had an accident, and that he hadn’t been picked up. “You were disheveled and smelling of alcohol.”

“Because my mother was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Cora. If you’d been staying in touch at all, you’d know that.”

Cora clasped her hands together. “I’m sorry. I know that you were afraid...that you suspected something was wrong, but...”

“One day last week, she forgot we broke up. Asked when you were going to come see her.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. She felt terrible about what was happening to Matt’s mother. Sara was a lovely woman, certainly didn’t deserve something like this. But there was nothing Cora could do about his mother’s condition, wasn’t sure what he expected. “I’ll stop by to see her next time I’m in town.”

“Next time you’re in town,” he echoed. “You say that as if you don’t really care about her.”

“Of course I care. I’ve always liked your mother.”

“Well, she loved you. She thought you’d become her daughter-in-law, would’ve offered you all the love you feel as if you’ve had to live without, being adopted.”

“It’s not that I feel as if I haven’t been loved, Matt. You don’t understand at all, if that’s what you think. I appreciate my parents—”

“Then why are you here instead of in LA with us?” he broke in. “Can’t you tell how much I’m struggling without you? You haven’t called me, haven’t texted me. You haven’t responded to anything I’ve posted on social media.”

She hadn’t viewed his social media, had quit doing that sort of thing even before she started seeing Eli.

“I thought you’d be back once you realized we had a good thing,” he went on. “There’s nothing better out there, you know.”

In ways, what she had with Eli was better. They didn’t have a label for what they were to each other, had no commitment, but she’d never felt so love drunk in her life than when she saw him or felt his hands on her body. “I’ve been moving, starting a new job. That takes focus,” she responded lamely.

“It can’t take up every minute. You don’t even know anyone down here. Aren’t you lonely?”

“I’ve made a few friends.”

“So you’ve kissed all your old friends goodbye.”

She got up. “Not at all. I’m staying in touch. But we weren’t friends, Matt. We were more than friends, and now we’re broken up. Why would I confuse you or...or give you any reason to hope by remaining in contact? Maybe later, in a few years, when we’ve both had a chance to move on, we can reconnect. But it’s too soon right now.”

He shoved himself into a sitting position. “What are you saying?”

She threw up her hands. “What I told you before. I’m really sorry, especially about your mother. I don’t want her to suffer. I don’t want you to suffer, either. But I can’t reciprocate what you’re feeling. I don’t know a nicer way of putting it, except to be honest. You’re a wonderful guy, and I’ll always care about you, but—”

“Who’s going to treat you better?” he interrupted, his eyes snapping with challenge.

“No one! I have no complaints about the way you treated me. I said you were a great guy—”

“But you think your birth mother is somehow going to make your life better.”

“Meeting Aiyana has already answered so many of my questions,” she said. “The curiosity I felt was half the problem.”

When he got out of bed, she was relieved to see that he was still wearing all his clothes. “So you’re glad you did it.”

That would depend on what happened from here. She had to admit that things weren’t looking good, not with a one-sided relationship developing between her and Eli and Aiyana showing up to find his shirt on her floor. But she couldn’t say she regretted coming to Silver Springs, because she didn’t. She was glad she’d met Aiyana, glad she knew where she came from and what her birth mother was like. She was also glad she’d met Eli. Otherwise, she might never have experienced the kind of passion he could evoke. Everyone deserved to encounter that magical feeling at least once in a lifetime. The fact that she hadn’t been more passionate about Matt only confirmed that she’d been right to break things off with him. “I did what I needed to do.”