Final Cut(67)

I think of some of the things I’ve done. Things that made no sense at all, even at the time.

‘Don’t blame yourself,’ I say.

‘You think?’

I pick up the photo of Zoe from the arm of the chair and look at it again. I notice something. There’s someone in the background, smiling and in profile, as if they’re talking to someone out of shot. His hair’s different, longer, but it’s him. He’s even wearing the same glasses.

Gavin.

I put it in my pocket, where it sings its accusations.

‘Where was Gavin tonight?’ I ask.

She shakes her head. ‘I have no idea.’





39


It’s getting late, but the lights are on in the village hall and the door is unlocked. Inside, there’s a uniformed officer tidying things away and I say hello.

Everything feels muddy; I can’t put my thoughts in order. But one feeling comes to the fore. I feel ashamed, though why, I don’t know. It’s almost like Kat was right, I caused it all, and by sleeping with Gavin I somehow made it worse.

‘We’ll be done in a few minutes,’ he says, oblivious. ‘Thanks for coming to lock up for us.’

‘Oh,’ I say, forcing a smile. ‘That’s fine. The investigation’s over, then?’

‘Yeah. The girl reckons she ran away, then changed her mind and came back. Nothing to investigate.’

‘You believe her?’

‘It’s not up to me. Anyway, I need to get on.’

I go through into the kitchen. Gavin will be here soon, I think, and then I’ll have to explain why I lied to the officer about him having asked me to come over to close the place up. But I might as well use this time, see whether I can find anything out. The serving hatch is open and through it I can see the officer, still tidying. At the far end of the kitchen a door leads into what I’m guessing is a cupboard or storeroom.

It’s not locked. Inside, I find shelves stacked with catering boxes of teabags and huge tins of coffee and hot chocolate. In one corner sits a box of toys, and the projector screen Gavin must use for the film club is propped against the wall. Everything is neat, nothing tossed randomly. There’s a filing cabinet in the corner behind the door.

I try the top drawer, but it won’t open. On the wall there’s a lock-box, but inside there are no keys that might fit. I lean my elbows on the cabinet. Shit. I don’t know what I was hoping to find, anything that might be a clue to his connection with Zoe, I suppose. I realise once again I’ve fucked someone whose turned out to be a stranger.

‘Alex?’

My head jerks up. Gavin is standing in the doorway, watching me. I don’t know how long he’s been there. He seems disappointed, I think. Or angry. From the main hall I hear another voice.

‘I’ll be off, then.’

Gavin looks briefly over his shoulder and calls out with false cheer. ‘Right, then! Bye!’ He looks back to me and lowers his voice. ‘What’re you doing?’

I raise my head defiantly. ‘I could ask you the same.’

He glances at the filing cabinet, as if reassuring himself it’s still locked.

‘Alex?’

‘You knew Zoe.’

He shakes his head. ‘No. I just—’

‘Gavin! Just fucking stop, okay?’

His eyes narrow. ‘You went to see her parents again.’

‘No,’ I say. ‘I found this.’ I show him the photo. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

He looks at it closely, then, eyes closed, draws a deep breath.

‘Where did you get that?’

I ignore him. I scan the room: he’s between me and the door, I might need a weapon, something I can use to defend myself. But there’s nothing, just the camera round my neck. Pretty weighty, but not enough.

‘What did you do with her?’ I say. ‘Where is she?’

His eyes dart open. ‘What? You think I … ? I’d never—’

I shove the picture towards him.

‘Explain this, then!’

He shakes his head. ‘Did she give it to you?’

She? I think. He can’t mean Zoe.

‘Who?’

‘Jody. Or Sean?’

‘What? No. Why? How would—?’

‘Come on.’ He takes my arm. ‘I need to tell you something.’

His grip is firm, but he’s not rough. He tries to steer me out, through the kitchen, but I shake him free and walk there myself. In the main hall I turn to face him.

‘Tell me. You knew Zoe. How? Where was the photo taken?’

‘Her birthday. Her thirteenth. McDonald’s.’

‘And why were you there?’

He stares at the floor. ‘I’m her uncle.’

‘What?’

‘Jody’s my sister.’

It’s the last thing I expected.

‘But—’

‘We don’t talk. Not any more.’

‘She knows you’re here?’ He shakes his head. ‘Why are you here?’

‘To find her. Or find out what happened to her.’

‘So all this finding a new life …’

‘Half true, I suppose. I had nothing else to do.’