Final Cut(34)

I lean closer and study the pictures. In one she’s standing in the sun, dressed in a vest-top, looking much older than her years. The edge of her tattoo is just visible on her shoulder, under the strap of her bra. It looks like a circle, a tiny ‘O’. I film it, then lift a couple more of the photos, looking at what’s underneath. As I do, I see a familiar pattern. A series of dots, joined together with lines, sketched in felt-tip on a piece of card. I unpin it.

‘What’s that?’ says Jody.

‘It’s Orion,’ I say. ‘A constellation. The hunter. Was she into astronomy?’

‘No,’ says Jody. ‘Not that I know of.’

I replace the card and search through the rest.

‘What about this?’

I show the photograph to Jody. It’s of Zoe; she’s dressed in her school uniform and has her back to the camera. She’s leaning forward, looking into a short, fat telescope. Jody tells me she doesn’t recognise it.

Suddenly I don’t want to tell her what I know. That her daughter isn’t the only one with a perfect circle tattooed on her flesh. That Daisy had scratched her own constellation on the wall behind her bed. That she and Zoe and myself are linked, we all have this one thing in common: astronomy, staring at the stars.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Let me ask Sean.’

She takes it from me and goes to the top of the stairs and calls. A minute later Sean joins us, and she shows him the photograph.

‘No idea,’ he says. ‘I never saw that before. Maybe when she was out on one of her trips.’

‘With her boyfriend, you mean?’ I try to swallow but my throat is dry.

Jody glances back at me. ‘No. He means her uncle. My brother. She used to see him sometimes, after school and whatnot. They were close.’

‘Where is he now? You don’t think he might’ve had something to do with what happened? With her running away?’

She shakes her head. ‘Maybe once. Not now. The police talked to him, any road.’ She examines the photo in my hand. ‘He were never interested in telescopes, though. Whoever got her into that, I don’t think it were him.’





Then





19


Chapman Sexual Health Clinic, Malby

Notes

DATE: Tuesday, 11 April 2017 (6.15 p.m.)

Zoe in again today (still won’t give me her surname). Arrived at about 4.20, again with the older girl (Hannah? Laura? The same girl has been in with others, and I’ve heard her called both. Again refuses to tell me her name. Quite aggressive. I’m certain it’s the same girl, as she has a distinctive circular tattoo on her upper arm). Zoe asked for condoms and, after some persuading from the older girl, also asked about STI testing. I asked her about her partner and she refused to answer; the other girl said she had a boyfriend and asked why I wanted to know. Zoe seemed very quiet and withdrawn. I wondered whether she’d taken something and asked her. She refused to answer, instead telling me it was ‘none of my business’ and she just wanted to ‘get sorted and then get out’ as she had to ‘be somewhere’. When I asked her where, she didn’t want refused to tell me. I told her I was concerned and asked whether there was anything Zoe wanted to tell me. She said no, but again I got the distinct impression that she was scared of the other girl, even that Hannah/Laura was there to keep her quiet in some way. I asked directly whether all the sex she was having was consensual, and she nodded, but said nothing. I gave her the condoms she’d requested and suggested Zoe come with me into one of the consulting rooms in order to discuss her concerns over STIs. She agreed, but when I suggested that Hannah/Laura stay in the waiting room the older girl once again became aggressive and said she wanted to look after her friend. I felt it best not to push the issue as I don’t want to scare the girls away completely, but I am concerned that something is going on with Zoe which she is reluctant scared to talk about.

I went into the consulting room to get the leaflets; however, when I returned to the waiting area the girls had left.

Plan: When (if?) Zoe returns, attempt to get her to divulge her surname, and if possible talk to her alone about drugs and/or the possibility of sexual abuse. She needs to be handled with care, though. Consider a referral to social services and/or the police if appropriate.

Shreya Divekar, Sexual Health Nurse Specialist





Now





20


I wake, wet and shivering. My mouth is dry, I can’t breathe, and for a moment it’s like I’m drowning, my lungs full. But then I remember. I’m here in Hope Cottage. I’m Alex, I’m making a documentary. Everything is going to be okay.

I throw back the duvet. Soaked with sweat, but also too cold. My breath plumes in the moonlight. I reach out and check the radiator. It’s not even lukewarm.

I want to crawl back under the covers, to pull them over my head and cling to what’s left of their warmth. But I’m awake now and won’t sleep again. I’m certain, now. Daisy, Zoe, Kat. The girls are linked, all of them. Me, too, though I don’t know how. And every time I close my eyes I see Daisy in the dark, standing on the edge of the cliff. Is there someone behind her? Was she physically pushed, not goaded by circumstances alone? I have to think back; I have to remember.