Fight or Flight(28)

“It’s almost a sin, you know, that someone that gorgeous and sexually gifted is so unlikable.”

“You really didn’t like him?”

“I mean … he was smart. CFO of Koto. And witty. Plus, like I told you, he stopped those annoying guys in the restaurant from harassing me. I guess he wasn’t all bad … but he was fundamentally rude to almost everyone he came in contact with, and he was mean to me. I was mean to him too but … I thought we maybe just had this insulting banter thing going on. But I was wrong. There’s a coldness about him. High spiked barriers on that one.”

“Well, you know something about barriers.”

“Yes, but I’m generally not mean or ill-mannered to people because of them. Unless provoked.”

“True.” She rounded my coffee table and came to stand by the kitchen counter. “At least it distracted you from Gemma, though, right?”

I winced, reminded of my time in Arcadia.

“Nick had no right to say those things to you—you know that, don’t you?”

I looked away, staring at the large bay window in my living room that looked down onto tree-lined Mount Vernon Street. “I know. I do know that. But I still feel guilty. I can’t help it.”

Suddenly I was pulled into a deep hug. Harper was a couple of inches taller than me, so I could rest my head on her small shoulder and hold on tight. We were from two entirely different worlds, two entirely different people, but years ago she’d stepped in to protect me when I was a stranger, and from that moment on I’d vowed to protect her back.

But these days it felt like she was saving me.

I hugged her tight before stepping out of her arms. “I’m okay,” I assured her.

“Promise?”

I nodded. “I just need to get back to work and back to my life.”

“Hmm.” She eyed me carefully. “Have your parents called to check that you got home safe?”

I made a face and shook my head. At Harper’s answering expression of contempt, I sought to remind her, “Harper, don’t worry. I’m used to it.”

“Doesn’t make it right.”

My parents liked to think of themselves as free spirits, but they liked their money a lot. I grew up in a nice house with nice cars and clothes. They didn’t believe in parenting me at all, so if I’d wanted to, I could have gotten away with murder. They gave me and Nick and Gem weed when we were sixteen, but I refused to smoke it—though Gem and Nick did. I didn’t like the idea of being out of control.

There were no rules in my house growing up. No boundaries. No checking in to see where I was or if I was okay.

And I guess that made me go the opposite way. I was responsible and conservative. It didn’t take a therapist to tell me that I liked being in control since everything had been so out of control with my parents.

“Honestly, I was just surprised my mom made me go to the dinner the night before Gem’s funeral. Very un-Mom-like to care about what people think.” I shrugged. “But she loved Gem, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Harper scowled. “Even when she screwed you over.”

“Let’s not go there.” I shook my head and squeezed her shoulder. “I’ve been going there for the past ten days and … I want to leave there behind and move on.”

My friend sighed heavily. “Okay. But I’m here if you need me.”

“I know.” I reached over and kissed her cheek. “Now you need to get home and get some sleep before work tomorrow.”

She nodded and walked over to the couch to grab her leather jacket and purse. “Back to work tomorrow?”

“Yes.” I grinned. “I can’t wait.”

“Even with the Shrew breathing down your neck every fifty seconds?”

Harper was referring to one of my current clients. I was redesigning her summer home in Nantucket and the woman drove me crazy with constant phone calls and demands for me to send her hourly updates. “Even then. I have a bajillion voice mails from her. Apparently, my attending a childhood friend’s funeral has seriously messed up her schedule.”

“Ugh, what a cow,” Harper said as I led her to the door. “Seriously, how do you work with these people?”

“Says she who works with Jason Luton, the most intimidating and scary man I ever met until I got to know him.” Jason was the English head chef of Canterbury, the restaurant Harper worked at. He opened it six months before Harper started working there as an apprentice chef. Two years after that he was awarded a Michelin star and had held on to it ever since. The man was exacting and ambitious.

“Yeah, but he’s not that scary now, right?”

“Not to me. But I’ve heard him yelling in the kitchen.”

Harper grinned, not at all intimidated by Jason’s yelling. She respected him, but she didn’t fear him, and I suspected that was why Jason liked her so much. He had invested his time in her and helped her become one of the finest pastry chefs in the state. Speaking of … “When you put those little chocolate tart things back on the menu, remember to sneak me one.”

“They’re seasonal,” she replied. “Winter only. But … if you play your cards right, I might make one especially for you.”

“Oh, like the Kylie and Jason song?”