Fight or Flight(104)

I leaned across the tall round table where we sat on our high stools. “Seriously, learn from my mistakes. You’re not built for casual sex.”

“Right now I am. Look, I’m only twenty-six. I’m not saying that from here on out I just want to do casual. Who knows what the future holds? I am, however, saying that right now and for the foreseeable future there is no part of me that feels like handing over the kind of trust you need to give a guy to be in a real relationship with him.”

Since that all sounded reasonable and rational, I nodded at her in support.

“What about you?”

That made me scowl, as I didn’t particularly want to talk about moving on while I was still figuring out how to pretend to move on. “What about me?”

“You look better. You’ve even gained back a few of the pounds you lost with all that sex, and you look great.”

I flinched at the reminder I was no longer having sex with Caleb. Harper winced.

“I’m sorry. Sometimes my mouth opens before it engages with my brain.”

“It’s okay.” I glared at my drink. “He just ruined the entire act for me, but it’s fine.”

“You’ll find someone just as good.”

At my brittle silence, Harper leaned toward me. “Don’t answer if it pisses you off … but … was he seriously that good?”

I looked up at her with all the pain of my loss shining in my eyes. “He wasn’t good. We were phenomenal. It was like we were made for each other in that respect. It’ll never be like that with someone else. That’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Now can we change the subject?”

“Another beer?” Harper replied in answer.

I nodded and watched her hop gracefully off the stool to make her way through the busy room to the bar. Peeling at the label on my now empty beer bottle, I studied her as she edged her way through the crowd around the bar. Only a few months ago she would have bulldozed her way in, grinning at the people she was pissing off, her adorable dimpled smile giving her a free pass. She would lean across the bar and flirt until the bartender served her next.

She wasn’t doing that now. Although she was still blunt and straightforward, there was a tentativeness about her that wasn’t there before. I could only hope time would take care of it.

“Ava?”

Caleb?

My heart stopped.

I whipped my head around, only somewhat relieved the voice belonged to Jamie Scott and not his older brother. He stood just off to my side, a pint of beer in his hand, eyeing me uncertainly.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay,” I said, my voice stiff. “You?”

“Not bad.” He took a step toward me, his eyes moving across the room. “Is that Harper with you?”

Realizing he’d only seen Harper beat up, I nodded. “The one and only.”

He scrutinized her, but not in the way a guy usually scrutinizes a girl. There was definite curiosity, but I wasn’t sure it was sexual. Still, as he continued to stare at her, I felt the need to say, “She’s off-limits.”

Jamie swung his gaze back to me. “Caleb says she lives in our building. I haven’t seen her.”

“Jamie,” I warned.

He held up his hands in a defensive gesture. “It’s not like that. I just …” His attention returned to my friend. “She’s striking. Do you … do you think she’d let me paint her?”

“I don’t see how that’s any different.”

Jamie’s brows pulled together. “It’s completely different. I never sleep with my models. The art is too important.”

There was so much sincerity and passion in his tone that I decided to believe him. “I … You would have to ask her but …” If Harper was even slightly interested in being an artist’s model, it would mean I’d inadvertently be connected to Caleb again. It was bad enough I couldn’t visit my friend at her apartment … “Maybe not now.”

Seeming to understand, Jamie nodded and I sank down into my stool in relief.

Awkward silence fell between us and I kind of wished he’d just leave. “Are you here alone?” I hinted.

His gaze sharpened in sympathy. “Caleb’s here.”

My heart rate, which had increased already in Jamie’s presence, instantly took off like a rocket. I searched the bar.

When I found him, I wished I hadn’t. He was sitting in the corner with a bunch of people, including Jen from his office, who was pressed up beside him on a bench. Whatever she was saying, Caleb was nodding.

I felt sick.

I was going to be sick.

Jamie cursed. “It’s not what you think, Ava.”

But I was already off my stool. “Tell Harper I’m outside. Don’t tell your brother I’m here.” Before he could argue, I was weaving my way through the crowd, trying to leave inconspicuously.

Then I waited nervously across the street behind one of the granite pillars of an office building. When Harper appeared a minute later, looking left and right with concern etched over her pretty face, I stopped hiding like an idiot.

“Harp!” I called.

She caught sight of me, waited for a gap in traffic, and jogged across the street. She immediately slung her arm over my shoulder and didn’t say anything as we began to hurry away together.